Anything But Ordinary
by stripedkneehighsocks
Summary: Amidst all the chaos surrounding the hospital the day of Meredith's accident, there was one person who stuck by her through it all. Mer/Add, references to Mer/Der and Mark/Addison. Rated M for future chapters.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N : I do not own Grey's Anatomy, or the characters within them, although I wish I did. They are property of Shondaland and ABC. First published fic, enjoy and please leave me some feedback!**

**xx**

* * *

Addison Montgomery was not prepared for what she was going to see when she entered Trauma Room 1 where the attendings were gathered. As the red-haired surgeon pushed open the door, the sight before her made her falter in disbelief. Meredith Grey was lying on the gurney, her face cold and lifeless. The young intern's skin had a blue-gray tint to it, there was a tracheal tube running out of the corner of her still mouth doing her breathing for her. The ECG was beeping furiously, indicating v fib, and Preston Burke had the shock paddles to her chest, causing the woman's otherwise still form to jerk briefly before her monitors stabilized.

"Oh my god." Addison's breath caught in her chest, still registering that this was Meredith on the table. This was the woman she had been competing with for her husband's affection, and the woman she had put so much blame onto. But looking at her now, unmoving and fighting for her life, well, none of it mattered now. A wave of unfamiliar emotion swept over Addison, just briefly, before she switched into autopilot.

"She's hypothermic, " Burke called out. Meredith's temperature was too low; they needed to get it up. Bailey covered her with another blanket, anything to keep her alive.

"Come on Meredith, don't do this," Addison said. The door behind them opened and Addison met the weary and defeated gaze of her ex-husband, Meredith's boyfriend, sitting on the floor in the hallway, flanked loyally by Mark. The female neo-natal surgeon's face took on a pained expression as the door shut slowly, cutting their contact. She stared at the IV drip, and found herself silently praying that somehow, some way, Meredith could live. Addison Montgomery knew at that moment, she would do anything to ensure that happened.

"We're losing her."

* * *

_Meredith Grey sputtered and coughed as she sat up on the gurney and found herself looking into the face of Dylan Young. _

"_Am I…dead?"_

"_Damn right you are." Denny Duquette's tell-you-like-it-is voice cut through the silence, and as she turned, she stared in shock as she found herself reunited with two people she believed, were dead._

* * *

Chief Webber pushed furiously on Meredith's chest, determined that he was NOT going to lose Ellis Grey's little girl, HIS girl. Bailey cast a look at the Chief as he turned away briefly, struggling to keep pushing, keep fighting, for the dirty-haired blonde intern. Addison was standing back in the corner, her mind racing a mile a minute, but she couldn't tear her eyes from the woman lying in front of her. Meredith was dying, and how she was feeling was not how she thought she'd be feeling. When the girl had bellowed at her from her room after her appendectomy, Addison felt a strange amusement at the girl. Maybe it wasn't just the influence of the morphine high on the giddy woman. _Look at her now. _The red-haired surgeon's pager beeped loudly, shaking her from her thoughts, and Bailey nodded her head towards her, giving her permission to leave. But Addison wasn't sure she wanted to leave. She seemed frozen in place, torn between her patient, and someone who she shouldn't even be caring about. Yet, she did. And right now she needed to leave. She needed her thoughts off the woman whose life was extinguishing right before Addison's eyes.

She pushed past Derek, who turned to her as she strode down the hallway.

"Temp's still only 86, there's still no heartbeat, we're hoping once she warms up…" Addison started.

"I need to go in there!"

"Damn it you can't! Not for Meredith, not for anybody. You're in no shape." Addison turned and pushed open the doors to the rapid questions from Bailey's interns and Meredith's close friends that had been gathering around the double doors. As she felt her mouth audibly forming the words, her voice hitched, and she had to take a breath before telling them gently to prepare themselves. Her face saddened as she took in their shocked expressions, and pushed through them to tend to her patient. Alex Karev followed her back to their Jane Doe's room, and Addison was back in professional mode again.

* * *

"_You are anything but ordinary, Meredith."_

* * *

Addison opened the door to Trauma Room 1, not sure what she would see. What she saw was nothing near what she expected. She did not expect to see Meredith Grey being extubated, and she did not expect to see her ECG displaying her heartbeat. Addison stood at the foot of the bed next to a stunned Cristina, and placed her slim hands on her hips as she watched Bailey and the nurses tending to the intern. She stood there for a few seconds before joining Bailey at the head of the hospital bed.

"Do we know the brain function yet?" Addison blinked, studying the machines, and watching as Meredith's bed tilted up.

Bailey managed to get out a heavy "dunno" as Addison's face once again took to that pained look. Miranda Bailey was slightly surprised at the concern the neo-natal specialist was taking in the intern who had caused her so much heartache, and even more surprised at the pain Addison was seemingly trying to hide in her blue eyes. Bailey checked Meredith's vitals before following the nurses out of the room, muttering about finding Derek Shepherd. Now, it was a waiting game. Addison stood alone in the room, unaware that everyone had left, and couldn't shift her gaze from Meredith's body. The sting of tears welling up in her eyes shocked her, but none of them fell from her eyes. She knew she should leave, she should go find Derek, she had patients, but Meredith consumed her mind. Addison could not believe her thoughts, and she was stunned that she could not seem to get her out of her head. She had been trained for this, trained to separate her personal life when there was a job to be done, but she could not. She reached for the chair across the room and drug it over to Meredith's bedside. She had no idea where Derek Shepherd was, but one thing she did know is that Meredith was not going to wake up alone. The attending drew up her knees in the armchair, and the weariness of the day wore her down, and sleep took her.

* * *

"Dr. Montgomery?"

The red-haired woman stirred at the sound of Meredith Grey's voice, and as the fogginess of sleep left her, she slowly sat up.

"It's Addison , Meredith. How are you feeling?" Addison asked softly, noting the added color that had come back into the intern's face, compared to the gray color of her skin earlier that day. Addison shuddered at the image that came back into her mind.

"Tired, " breathed Meredith with an almost inaudible chuckle.

"Well, if you felt any other way, I'd be concerned." Addison teased gently, glad to see the woman hadn't lost her personality. Meredith looked so small amongst the machines, and she saw the beginnings of goose bumps appearing on her forearms, and the slight shiver that Meredith tried to conceal. Addison took off the blanket someone must have draped over her chair, and covered the woman with it.

"I'm glad to see you awake; you gave us all quite a scare." Addison stood by Meredith's side. "Well, I...I'll go find Derek." She turned to leave, but Meredith caught her by the arm. Addison caught her breath softly and turned, hoping the intern hadn't heard her. "Addison, I want to tell you…I want to tell you that I'm sorry." The blonde woman breathed out. "When I was in the water, I remember wanting you to know that."

"That is in our past. It doesn't matter now." Addison managed to get out a tired smile, and gave Meredith's hand a light squeeze. "Meredith, I…"

"Meredith!" Derek Shepherd hurried in and Addison dropped Meredith's hand and moved out of the way as Derek took her spot by his girlfriend. "I was so worried about you."

Addison took that as her sign to quietly exit. "I'll check up on you later." Meredith held her eyes and nodded, before smiling at Derek. Addison opened the wooden door of the hospital room, and let herself out. She paused, looking back through the window, with that gaze that had accustomed itself to her face for the past 24 hours, and Mark sidled up next to her. She sighed.

"He never felt that way about me."

"I did."

Addison glanced up at him with a tired look, and walked past down the dimly lit hallway.

"Hey" Mark jogged behind her, and slowed to match her walk as she kept her eyes forward "You do not get to just walk away from this, from us. I get that you're going through a hell of a lot, but I still care about you Addison."

She looked at him sadly, and she disappeared into an on call room. He took a deep breath, unsure of what this woman was feeling, but he knew he had to be with her right then. Mark pushed open the door and found her perched on one of the less than comfortable beds with her head in her hands. He sat beside her, and she moved her hands down from her face.

_What if we had lost her? What if I never got to tell her that I forgive her? What if I never got to tell her…_

She stood up muttering about having to get back to her Jane Doe patient, and Mark got to his feet.

"Addison, I'm not going to let this go. You've got something on your mind, say it damn it!" He put his hands on her petite shoulders, and then his arms were pushed off as he was shoved back into the wall. Hands were on hips, lips on lips, and before he could protest, skin was on skin. The woman had a way with getting what she wanted, that was for sure. Her skilled surgical hand was at the drawstring of his dark blue scrubs, and then his hand tightened on her slim wrist.

"Mark, please. I need to feel you…I just need to feel." Her eyes were brimming with tears and the sight of her pleading with him, wracked with emotions, broke his heart. "Please."

"You're not okay…" He still had a tight grip on her wrists.

"What is wrong with you?" Addison half yelled, half sobbed "You're Mark, you're supposed to be the slutty bootycall who doesn't say no to sex." He dropped her arms and she shoved his chest, and he caught a glimpse of those tears making their tracks down her face. "What is wrong with you…what is wrong with me? I can't even get YOU to have sex with me now. What is wrong with me?" She sat back down on the bed that had seen a lot of action, more than Addison was getting right now.

Mark looked down at the broken woman in front of him. "You're still in love. We both are. With people who will never love us back the way we want them to. Addison, what we had, it was more than sex. Hell, I came across the country for a bootycall. I knew you were missing Derek and wanted to use me to take away your pain. But I let you use me. Because I love you, but you can't love me back, can you Addison?" She just put her head in her hands once again, unable to respond. "And I need to get over that. You will never care for me the way I do you. And neither will he, for you." Addison looked up, her face streaked with tears and wrought with the emotional strain of the past day, and caught his eye before he turned on his heel and flung the door open as he left. She kept staring at the closed door, and her head was fuzzy with confusion because at that moment, Derek Shepherd had not been the one that was on her mind.

* * *

Addison entered the bathroom that was too brightly lit for her taste, and went to the sink. She splashed some cold water on her face and her slim hands gripped the sides of sink, as she looked into the mirror. She hardly recognized this woman. Where was the confident, almost over confident neo-natal surgeon who never let her personal emotions get in the way of her job? As she stared into the puffy eyes of her reflection, she realized she had left her in Trauma Room 1, when she had first entered the room of Meredith Grey. Addison fumbled with the towel dispenser, and patted the water from her face. She took a deep breath, and went to check on her patients.


	2. Chapter 2

Meredith Grey had been moved to a different room where she could still be closely monitored without the franticness of the trauma wing. She had managed to persuade Derek to go home and take a shower and eat some decent food rather than the hospital food that she had been getting.

"I can't believe we actually feed this to people!" She mumbled to herself, stirring the mass of what appeared to have once been potatoes and carrots.

"It really does taste like crap, doesn't it?" The husky voice of the red-haired surgeon leaning up on the door frame caused the red blush of embarrassment to creep into Meredith's cheeks as she realized she had spoken out loud. "Don't worry, I won't tell. I remember how that stuff tastes…brings me back to my childhood. I had broken my arm in a riding accident, and my mother completely freaked. It was just a minor surgery, but regardless, I've always felt bad having to watch my patients eat it." Addison chuckled at the memories that had been kept so far back in her mind. "Where's Derek?"

"I got him to go home and take a shower. He was looking far too run down to be doing me any cheering up. I practically had to throw him out myself" Meredith said with a smile glinting in her eyes "But a quick peek inside the gown did the trick." She laughed out loud and Addison managed a thin-lipped smile.

"Sorry."

"No, don't be." Addison walked over and sat in the chair next to Meredith's bed. She couldn't help but notice that the mischievous glint was back in the blonde intern's blue eyes. She had never noticed, but the girl had beautiful blue eyes that seemed to look straight into her soul. Addison felt very vulnerable, and shifted in her chair, praying that Meredith wouldn't sense how she made her feel. She made her feel uneasy and sick to her stomach. Yet, Addison couldn't stay away. She felt very protective over the woman, a protectiveness she had not felt before. "There's been some talk Meredith, about what happened when you had your accident," she began tentatively, her eyes piercing into the girl, trying to read her emotions, almost unsure of whether she should bring it up when it was still so fresh. "Meredith, do you…do you remember what happened?" Addison perched forward on the chair, her eyes scanning the blonde's face; an unreadable expression was frozen on it. "If you don't want to talk about it, that's fine," she said hurriedly, not wanting to cause Meredith any more upset.

"I remember wrapping up a patient's leg, and he began shivering violently, and the next thing I remember is being in the water. It was so cold Addison," she shivered, remembering the panic and the shock that the cold water had zapped through her body."

"It's okay Meredith, we don't have to talk about it." The attending placed a comforting hand on the intern's shaking leg, hoping she could calm her down.

"No, I uh, it feels good to talk about it. I haven't done much of that; Derek doesn't want to talk about it. He is worried that I drowned on purpose." Tears welled up in her blue eyes, threatening to spill over, and she blinked and looked off to the side of the room. She turned back to Addison, meeting her eyes, and instead of judgment, she saw understanding reflected in the surgeon's eyes. "That morning, Derek found me in the bathtub. I was taking a bath, and I went under the water. I could see everything through the water, and I don't even know how long I was under there for, but then he was there pulling me up asking me what the hell I was doing. I don't even know what I was doing. He really doesn't want to talk about it; I think he's in denial about the whole thing, like he can't handle it, and talking about it makes it more real, makes it a problem. Makes me a problem." She turned away again, shivering under the blankets, the giveaway that she was struggling to get her feelings out. Addison's pager beeped loudly, piercing the silence in the room, and she silently cursed and stood abruptly.

"Hey, I have to take this, but would you want to meet me at Joe's tonight? I know you still need that final CT today, but if you're free tonight, maybe we could talk there? My shift's done at 8. Just for fun, no drinks," Addison added quickly, realizing that Meredith was in no condition to go for a drink in a bar.

"Yeah, I'd like that. Derek has patients he needs to get back to, so I'm sure that'd be fine." Meredith said with a reassuring smile.

"Okay, sounds good. I'll see you then. Take care, Meredith." The attending disappeared around the corner, leaving Meredith to her thoughts.

* * *

Meredith pulled open the door to Joe's, and made her way to the bar. "Just water for me tonight, Joe," she called out, smiling as he turned and came over to her.

"How are you feeling Mer?" The bartender's voice was light, but there was obvious concern in his tone, and she flashed him a big smile.

"Just peachy," she said with a grin.

"Alright, one water, coming right up." He disappeared behind the bar, and Meredith glanced around, surveying the crowd. No familiar faces, and she felt relieved. She didn't feel like explaining the other day's events a million times to everyone. The door swung open, and the striking red-head sauntered in. Addison caught her looking, and sat on the barstool next to her.

"Hey, Dr. Montgomery, what can I get ya?" Joe's eyebrows rose at the sight of the unlikely duo, he didn't even think they associated with each other.

"It's Addison," the woman said with a smile, "And I'll have what she's having." Joe raised his eyebrows at Meredith, who narrowed hers and shooed him away. He brought the water and set it in front of Addison, and disappeared again. "Want to grab the table in the corner?" Addison asked, grabbing her bag, which Meredith recognized to be Chanel. The blonde widened her eyes; she had known Addison had money, but this woman and her designers…she nodded yes, and the two made their way to the dark corner table. Meredith swirled her fingertip on the rim of her water glass, and she couldn't help but take notice of the way the red-haired woman's blouse was buttoned just low enough to get a glimpse of a black piece of lace. Meredith blushed furiously at her thoughts, silently grateful for the dim lighting.

Addison spoke first, bluntly, "Meredith, did you purposefully stop fighting?"

Meredith sighed, her thoughts drifting back to her accident, and the events afterwards with Denny and Dylan. She closed her eyes briefly. Addison was taken aback at her silence; she had known the girl was having some issues, but she didn't, she never thought it was that bad. Then again, she had never given her much thought other than what the hell her panties were doing in Derek's pocket. Addison reached across the table, putting her surprisingly warm hand over Meredith's. "It's okay Meredith, I can listen. I won't leave you." Her voice had dropped huskily, almost breaking, and she cursed Derek for leaving this woman in such pain, when she obviously needed someone to talk to about it.

Meredith was having a hard time putting her thoughts together. She was aware of the attending's hand on her own, and her head was swimming. _It's just her hand, she's just being nice. _But Meredith could hardly put her thoughts together, she felt sick to her stomach with nerves suddenly. Were those butterflies? Addison's thumb began stroking the girl's hand, as she sensed the tension that she assumed was due to the memory of the accident. _Oh my god, _Meredith thought, _what is happening? _She withdrew her hand to cup her glass, and take a long, cool sip of water. Addison sat back patiently, just looking into Meredith's face. _God, her eyes. _

The intern cleared her throat quietly. "I didn't want to drown. I was in the water, and I was fighting, and I was almost there, and then I just…I just stopped. The next thing I remember was waking up on a hospital bed, and Denny was there. And Dylan. They told me I was dead."

Addison inhaled gently, and then leaned forward, absentmindedly stirring the lemon slice into her water.

"I didn't believe it; I didn't believe I was dead. Until I saw my mother. She told me that I didn't need to be there, and to just keep going. She told me that I was," Meredith paused, taking a soft breath, "that I was anything but ordinary. That's when I realized I must be fighting for my life, because my mother had to have been dead to say something like that." She chuckled, and then the smile disappeared as quickly as it had come. "Addison, one thing happened that I can't come to terms with. It was something that Denny Duquette said to me, while I was…dead; he told me that being with Derek had caused me to lose my value of human life."

Addison asked softly, in a voice Meredith had not heard before, "Do you think that's true?"

Meredith paused a bit before responding. "I don't know" she choked out, "but I'm scared. I'm scared to be alone, I'm scared to be away from all that is familiar."

Addison reached across the table, gently stroking the tears off the woman's face. "You aren't alone, Meredith. Look, why don't you come with me tonight, I have a very comfortable pull out couch, and then neither one of us has to be alone." The surgeon's voice took on a different tone, a light one.

"Just, don't be gone in the morning." Meredith said, the pair stood, and Addison put her hand on the girl's back, and led her out to a waiting cab.

* * *

"Oh my god! You live here?" Meredith's eyes turned into large globes as she took in the hotel suite that Addison had been calling home for the past year. She turned in circles taking in the floor length gold curtains that hung from the tall ceiling, just billowing down around the picture windows that lined one wall of the suite. The view overlooked the harbor, and Meredith stood staring blankly out at the ferry boats that had their lights on, piercing the dark night and causing the lights to dance on the water's surface. Addison set her keys on the granite countertop and walked over to Meredith's side.

"It's beautiful." Meredith spoke softly, and then turned to Addison with a smile in her eyes. "Want to give me the grand tour?" she asked in a bad British accent, and the red-head laughed out loud and took her hand in her own.

Addison pushed open a white painted door, "This is the bathroom, and it's not much…"

"Are you kidding? It's HUGE! It's almost as big as my bedroom!" Meredith exclaimed in shock. "Addison, why didn't you tell me you lived in a _palace? _I didn't know I was in the presence of royalty!" The porcelain jacuzzi was big enough for at least ten people, and the floors were tiled in a black and white checkered pattern. "Gosh, I feel like I need to kiss your hands and feet or something."

Addison snorted quietly and laughed. "No, not royalty, just a mother whose expectations I never met and a cheating womanizing father who both felt the need to add to my trust fund whenever they fucked up." Meredith's eyebrows rose at the vulgarity, not because she wasn't used to it, but because she never expected it from the always-perfect Addison Montgomery. Addison must have noticed the slight change of expression, because she lowered her voice and added, "I'm not a prude Meredith, I've been known to say and do some wicked things." She chuckled. "Trust me; you're looking at Satan right now." She smirked and Meredith caught her eye. The both erupted into laughter over the hospital nickname. "Come on." Addison nodded towards the living room they had walked through already. "Let me show you the best part!"

She stopped in front of a brand new flat screen TV. "It just arrived," Addison said, plunking down onto a plush, leather couch. She kicked off her heels and reached over the edge of the couch, returning with two pints of Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream. "Cherry Garcia or Phish Food?"

Meredith raised her eyebrows at her, before taking the seat Addison was patting for her. "Is that seriously a question?" She pulled a fur-lined blanket over herself and grabbed the marshmallow, caramel, and fudge container from Addison's outstretched hand. Addison reached to exquisite glass coffee table in front of her and grabbed a couple remotes. She extended and pointed the remote at the TV, and classical Italian music softly filled the air.

"This is how I relax after work. I don't care that it's in another language; it's just nice to come here and not have to think about anything, just listen." Addison closed her eyes, and Meredith marveled at beautiful the woman was. _There is so much more to her, what the hell is Derek's problem? _That was the first time Derek had crossed Meredith's mind the whole evening. _I bet he is wondering where I am. Oh well, let him. If he gets to run away from problems, then so do I. _She looked over to Addison, who had her eyes open now, and she was looking intently at her with those piercing blue eyes. Addison ran a hand through her red tousled hair, and sat up.

Meredith was suddenly very aware of how close Addison was to her; she could smell the scent of Addison's perfume softly faded at the end of the night, and their knees practically touching.

"Meredith."

The intern looked up with tears in her eyes. "I feel so lost. These past few months, I've felt lost. First my mom, and having to deal with her treatment, and then her being Ellis Grey and her being in love with the Chief, and Derek and you, and how I was the home wrecker who broke apart your marriage. Now Derek doesn't even want to accept the fact that I'm hurting, and every time Cristina looks at me she looks like she's afraid that I'll go throw myself off a bridge. But then you're here, you shouldn't even be talking to me right now, I stole your husband and wrecked your beautiful life together, and now I'm crying in front of the woman I look up to, and I'm just a wreck…" she trailed off.

"Meredith, look at me." Addison put her hand on the other woman's leg, and cupped her cheek with her other hand. "I want you to live. I, need you, to live." Meredith began to tremble, and Addison scooted closer so she could pull Meredith into her arms. "Shhh, it's okay. You're okay. I'm not going anywhere, and I need you to not go anywhere either." Meredith settled into her front, laying her head in the crook of Addison's neck. The attending's arms wrapped around the girl, rocking her and soothing her sniffles and shakes.

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry." Meredith sat up, and pulled away an inch, Addison's arms still protectively around her. "Addison?" Meredith pulled back, and Addison looked at her; Meredith was shocked to see tears in the surgeon's beautiful blue eyes. For a split second, it was as if Addison was letting her into her world. She saw the flash of vulnerability in the usually stoic woman's eyes, and then Addison dashed up across the floor, and the bathroom door slammed behind her. Without hesitation, Meredith followed and stopped at the closed door. "Addison, please talk to me? Did I do something wrong? I shouldn't have come, I'm sorry for burdening you with my stupid shit." There was silence on the other side of the door. "Addison?" she asked as she leaned on the door. It was not latched, and it opened to reveal the most heartbreaking sight Meredith had seen. The strong, fiery surgeon was on her knees with her head in her hands, red hair cascading around her face, and Meredith knelt down on the other side in front of her. She reached out to Addison, and lifted her chin with her hand, and was horrified to see the striking woman's face glistening with tears. "Addison, what is it? What's wrong?"

Addison shook as she struggled to even her voice. "I can't Meredith. I'm so sorry, but I can't."

Meredith shook her head in confusion, and then the look on her face turned from confusion to disbelief, to hurt. "I don't understand; I thought you wanted me here…I thought you wanted to know."

"Meredith don't you understand?" Addison said shakily, "When you…god Mer, I thought…I didn't think I was ever going to get to tell you- I thought I was going to lose you."

The blonde intern tilted her head slightly and narrowed her eyes. Then they widened. "Addison, are you talking…I mean, are you saying…what I mean to say is-"

"Yes Meredith, I didn't want to lose you! I couldn't lose you. I can't ever lose you." Addison's voice broke, " You were never going to know that I had forgiven you a long time ago, and I wanted to try and save you from this heartache called Derek, and, now I love you, and Mark loves me and wants me to be with him, and he wouldn't even give me sex when I tried!"

"You mean, McSteamy turned down sex with YOU?" Meredith teased lightly, treading carefully, as the red-haired woman seemed to be calm.

"Meredith Grey is that all you got from my big long speech?" Addison feigned shock.

Meredith's eyes turned serious, her kind blue eyes softening Addison's heart. "No, I just do that when things get serious. I joke," she laughed once, almost inaudibly and took a deep breath and then looked into the woman's eyes, "Addison, I've been in love with you ever since you found Derek and I at the hospital, and you met me under the terms of 'the woman screwing your husband.'" Meredith clasped Addison's hands, and the attending looked into her eyes. Both women saw vulnerability and fear flash through each other's eyes, but then Meredith smiled.

"God Mer, I was so scared when I saw you on that table." Addison shuddered out and Meredith embraced the woman, both of them still kneeling on the tile floor.

"I'm not going anywhere. I want you, god, no, I NEED you Addison, and I'm not going to leave you like that again." Meredith smiled and sighed happily. Addison pulled away and looked at her.

"What?" Addison asked, narrowing her eyes at Meredith "Didn't think Satan had it in her to show actual emotion?"

"You're beautiful Addison Montgomery. Especially beautiful when you've got tears in your eyes." Meredith pushed Addison's hair behind her ear. She leaned her forehead against Addison's, and saw the woman's eyes closed. Meredith cupped her chin and pulled her towards her until their lips came together. Both women gasped, and Addison moaned quietly and pressed her lips harder against Meredith's. Meredith relented, and Addison's tongue entered her mouth. Then, Meredith felt a wave of dizziness overtake her, and she felt the passion coursing through Addison's body, pouring into every caress of her tongue.

They broke apart, breathless and smiling, and Addison stood, smoothing her skirt, and offered her hand to the young woman on the floor. "Come to bed with me, Mer?"

Meredith put her hand in Addison's and let the older woman lead her through the living room, and as the sensual classical music played around her, she felt as if she was swept up in a dream, a beautiful dream, and only she and Addison existed. Addison reached a set of French doors, and for a brief second, Meredith was unsure. The red-head must have noticed, because she turned and Meredith gasped as she saw the love that was reflecting in the woman's eyes.

"Meredith Grey, I love you, and I…I will wait for you," Addison spoke tenderly, "You are the only person I've ever said that to and ever wanted to say that to. If you're having doubts or think you're going to regret this –" Meredith silenced her, reaching up and pressing her lips to the slightly taller woman. Their lips began moving against each other, their tongues darting in and out of every orifice, and Addison reached behind her and pushed open the door to her bedroom. Meredith's knees buckled, but before she could fall, she felt Addison's hands on her waist, holding her, steadying her. They didn't even bother with the light, and Addison bumped the backs of her legs into her bed. She pulled Meredith down on top of her, hands tangled in hair, and Meredith whimpered as she was flipped onto her back and Addison's lips found her neck.

"Oh, mmm, oh god Addison." Meredith breathed, a wave of euphoria crashing through her head. Then, the lips were gone. Her eyes fluttered open, and she saw Addison looking at her. The red-head's hair was flowing down, slightly amiss around her shoulders, her blue eyes fixed intently and piercing straight to Meredith's soul. "What are you looking at me like that for Addison Montgomery?" Meredith narrowed her eyes at the woman, with a smirk on her face.

"Because you're the most beautiful woman in the world," Addison said simply, "and I love you." The last part came out as a whisper. Meredith shifted and snaked her still-clothed thigh between Addison's before resting their foreheads together. She stroked Addison's face, and looked up at the woman, whose eyes were closed.

"Addison." Meredith spoke, her voice low and raw, a tone that the older woman had not heard. Addison moaned and her eyes cracked open, heavy lidded with passion and feeling. Her lips were slightly swollen from Meredith's attack upon them, and they were parted as she breathed heavily. "I love you. I always have." Meredith's voice cracked and Addison crashed her lips down on the younger woman's, pouring every emotion, every feeling, into this one moment. When they came up for air, no words were spoken as Addison pulled Meredith into her arms, and the younger woman nuzzled into her neck. The two women lay there, wrapped up in each other, and sleep consumed them.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Again, I do not own Grey's Anatomy or the characters within it, unfortunately, as they belong to ABC and Shondaland. Also, a shout out to grapenut01, for proofing and pre-reading my chapters. Enjoy!**

**xx**

* * *

The warm sunlight across her face caused Meredith Grey to wrinkle her nose and frown slightly. She stretched sleepily, a smile splashing across her face as she remembered the previous night's events. _Addison. _

"Good morning, beautiful."

She felt limbs, still entangled with each other, and she opened her eyes, and found herself staring into Addison's captivating blue eyes. _Oh those eyes. _She could get lost in those beautiful eyes. They were an open ocean of emotions and feelings that had never been open to her before. Not that she had much time at work to stare into the beautiful attending's eyes. _Work. _

"Shit! Addison, why didn't you wake me? I'm going to be late for rounds. Bailey is going to kill me!" Meredith scrambled up off the bed, but Addison was quicker and grabbed her arm, as Meredith turned around.

"Mer, honey, relax. I already called Richard; I told him you needed a personal day and that I was going to make sure that you were in good hands." Addison smiled reassuringly at her, as Meredith drew in a shaky breath and collapsed in a heap back on the bed, and Addison felt her body relax. The two women lay there silently, and Addison stroked the side of the sleepy intern's face with the back of her hand, causing Meredith to burrow deeper into her side. The blonde curled her body into Addison's, and Addison continued stroking her hair until the girl's breathing became shallow and even.

_How did I live my life before Meredith? _Addison thought, her mind racing through the events of the past few days, and especially the passionate events of last night. Meredith moaned quietly in her sleep and rolled over, stretching her legs and arms out in all sorts of ways. Addison chuckled softly, and gave the girl an endearing smile, before carefully getting out of bed. Meredith stretched again, and Addison froze, praying that she didn't disturb her, and she let out a silent breath when Meredith relaxed into sleep again. Addison tiptoed around, picking up her bra and skirt where she had wiggled out of them in her sleep last night. She opted for a pair of sweats and a comfy v neck white t-shirt, and slowly opened one of the bedroom doors, inch by inch. She slipped out between the crack, grateful for her slim frame, and she smiled at the sun peeking in the window. Addison flicked on the fireplace with a light switch on the wall before disappearing into the bathroom. She turned on the showerhead, and lifted last night's shirt off and wriggled her underwear down and stepped out of them. Addison tested the water temperature, and then stepped inside, closing the sliding glass door. She leaned into the spray, closing her eyes as the warm water sluiced over her lithe body, trickling down her face and shoulders. Then, Addison's mind started drifting from its blankness.

_The sliding glass door opened, steam billowing out, before being shut abruptly. Addison's eyes flashed open, her heart pounding, and she saw the petite form of Meredith untying her dirty blonde hair, her eyes never leaving Addison's trembling body. Meredith's eyes darkened and raked over Addison's figure. "Please," Addison whimpered, "please Mer." Meredith took one stride and was at Addison's side under the water. Her hand found Addison's breast, and her toned thigh was between Addison's legs as she eased her tongue into Addison's mouth, and then deepened the kiss. Addison let out a moan, and her tongue entangled with Meredith's, her hand wrapping around the younger woman's torso, pulling her into her. The water was hot now, the glass door fogged out, shielding the outside world from the two women's lust-filled passion. Addison ground down onto Meredith's thigh, trying to ease the throbbing in her very core, and dug her nails into Meredith's slick back. She whimpered in Meredith's ear, as she began to rub her aching clit on the intern's smooth thigh. Meredith moved to her neck and began suckling and biting on her collarbone, moving her thigh in rhythm with Addison's thrusts. Meredith slipped a hand between their bodies, and slid her middle finger down Addison's slit, eliciting a cry from the red-head, who seemed hardly able to last any longer. Meredith leaned forward and put her lips on Addison's earlobe, nipping gently before breathing into her ear. "Do you want me to fuck you?" The coarse, rough tone of the woman's voice had Addison leaning back against the wall of the shower, her knees giving out as she felt Meredith's fingers at her opening. "Yes, Mer, take me now, god please!" She parted her legs and opened her mouth panting, as fingers drove up inside her._

"Addison? Do you have any normal food in this fancy joint, ya know, like Lucky Charms or something?" Meredith's voice jolted Addison from her steamy fantasy, her arms fumbling to regain her balance and composure. She realized that her fingers were soaked in her own arousal; she must have been the one pleasuring herself.

"Uh, yeah Mer, hold on, I'll uh…I'll be right out!" she called out, her voice shaky and uneven, still trying to catch her breath. She shampooed and conditioned her hair quickly, before stepping out onto the floor mat and wrapping a fluffy green towel around herself. Meredith's head poked around the corner, and she leered at Addison, her eyes moving over the surgeon's long legs, and she sidled up to the older woman, pressing her body flush to hers, making Addison involuntarily moan.

"Been thinking about me?" Meredith teased, feeling Addison's legs quiver, their lips almost touching. Addison crashed her lips down onto Meredith's, her tongue diving deep into the intern's mouth, and Meredith flung her arms around Addison's neck, pulling her closer. Addison let out a whimper and brought her hands around to the small of Meredith's back, her fingers slipping under the hem of the younger woman's shirt, dancing along the smooth skin. Meredith felt her hair prickle and stand on end as she moved her mouth over to Addison's jaw, placing small kisses under her chin and down her neck. She drew her teeth along the tender skin, and heard Addison's sharp intake of breath. Meredith smirked, and continued her onslaught of the woman's neck. Addison tilted her head back, and grabbed onto the edge of the sink to keep from melting to the floor. She could feel her arousal between her thighs, and her mind clouded with need. Meredith's hand went to where Addison had tucked her towel up, and the green cotton pooled at her feet. The fresh air on Addison's damp skin shocked her out of her trance, and taking a deep breath, she put her hands on Meredith's shoulders, steadying herself, and pulled back an inch.

"What's…what is it Addie?" Meredith whispered, trembling with her own need. She looked into the red-head's eyes and saw confliction. She pulled away, not breaking their gaze, and asked her again.

"Meredith, I want you. I want you so badly, but I can't be that woman. You're…god Mer, I am head over heels for you, but you're…you're with Derek." Addison hated herself for it, but she couldn't bring herself to be the reason Meredith would cheat. Derek's name tasted like bile when she thought about him being with Meredith the way she wanted to. She picked up the discarded towel and wrapped herself up once again. Addison took Meredith's cool hands in her own, and Meredith looked to the side, the way she did when she couldn't bear to make eye contact. Addison tilted her head and moved into Meredith's line of sight, reaching up to brush the young woman's hair up and out of her eyes. When Meredith looked up at her, she expected to see tears, but there were none.

"Addison, I meant every single word I said last night. I've just been worrying about how to tell Derek. I don't know what he'll do when he finds out his dirty mistress is shacking up with his ex-wife. But I want him to know. I want everyone to know." Meredith stated firmly, rubbing her thumbs over Addison's hands. "It's just something I have to do alone."

Addison sighed and wrapped her arms around the girl's waist, drawing her in. Meredith rested her cheek on her shoulder, and a solitary tear trickled down her face, dropping onto Addison's bare skin. Addison stroked the blonde's hair, rocking her slightly and whispering, "You never have to do anything alone again. I'm here, and you don't have to ever cry again." She pulled Meredith's face in front of her own, and smiled at the girl, the light dancing in her eyes, and she pressed a kiss to Meredith's forehead. She put her hands back on Meredith's shoulders and turned the girl around. "Now, go back and put some pants on. I'm taking you out today on our day off. We can stop by your house and get you some appropriate clothes. Now go!" She swatted the girl's behind, and Meredith scampered off, giggling.

* * *

An hour later, the two women were clad in jeans and t-shirts and had piled into Addison's red SUV, and were driving down the interstate. Meredith had her feet on the dash, her eyes closed as the wind came rushing through the window, ruffling her hair, as she let the sunlight warm her body. It was a warm day for Washington weather, and Addison kept stealing peeks at the girl, marveling at the change in her mood. Addison turned off the interstate, and was soon driving down a back road, both sides of the road lined with the infamous Evergreen trees. Meredith set her feet down on the floor of the vehicle impatiently.

"Okay, NOW will you tell me where we are going?" she asked with mock irritation, scanning her surroundings, trying to get her bearings.

Addison chuckled, as the road curved and took them around a shady bend. She turned onto a gravel driveway, driving cautiously underneath a wooden arch. White, painted fences lined the drive, and handfuls of horses patterned the grassy fields. Meredith stared out the window, and her eyes were the sizes of saucers as she watched a pair of riders gallop past along the fence line.

"Are you serious?" she squealed, perching on the edge of the seat as Addison pulled into a spot in front of a hitching post. Addison got out of the car, her tennis shoes crunching in the gravel as she walked around to the back of the vehicle and opened the hatch. Meredith surveyed the large white barns and the activity of riders in the arenas lining the area by one of the barns. She followed Addison to the back of the rig, and Addison handed her a brown paper bag. Meredith snorted.

"Wow, Addison Montgomery, how classy! When did you pull the gourmet cooking off?" Meredith pulled out a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, and waved it in front of the red-head.

"Shut up. I've been known to eat peasant food a couple times in my life." Addison pointed to two pair of riding boots in the back corner of the trunk. "You look about the same size as me…well, they're 8's, and if they don't fit I'm sure we can get another pair here." She handed a pair to Meredith who shook her head in amazement. _That woman. _

"You mean, we're actually going to…_ride_?" Meredith asked in astonishment, taking the boots from Addison.

"Of course we are. What did you think I was doing, taking you here to just look at all the pretty ponies?" Addison laughed, pulling on her riding boots and sweatshirt she grabbed from the backseat. She gathered her red hair into a ponytail with a band she had on her wrist. Meredith mirrored her actions, wrapping her jeans around her legs and slipping into the boots. They fit perfectly, and she tugged her own sweatshirt over her head, and Addison shut the hatch and clasped Meredith's hands, and smiled at the girl. A young brunette woman walked up to them, leading two of the most beautiful horses Meredith had ever seen. One was a bay, its long black mane and tail flowing out as the warm breeze combed through it. The other was black as night, with a white snip on its nose, and it snorted softly as the woman stopped in front of the pair.

"Hey Addie, it's been a long time! I was surprised to get your phone call, but these two were rarin' to go!" The girl looped the lead ropes over a nearby hitching rail, and gave Addison a quick hug and a smile at Meredith before she disappeared around the corner of the barn. Meredith raised her eyebrows in a questioning look, and Addison walked over to the bay, which immediately put its muzzle into her palm, huffing softly as she stroked its forehead.

Addison smiled, the sun glinting across her face, as she explained to Meredith. "Back in New York, I used to ride. I rode hunt seat," she gestured to the English tack already on the back of the bay, "and I've been out here a couple times since coming to Seattle. This is Avalon; he's the one that I always ride whenever I get the chance to get out here. And that," she nodded to the black horse, "is Midnight Lady, or just Lady," she laughed, and Meredith walked over hesitantly to the mare. "Don't worry Mer, she's been ridden by mostly beginners, but she's no nag." Meredith mimicked Addison's movements, and held out a palm to the mare, which sniffed her hand before nudging her softly.

"I think she likes me," she said, smiling.

"Who wouldn't? I had them put her in Western gear; I didn't know if you had any riding experience, so I thought it'd be a safe bet." Addison watched the girl with the horse; there was an instant bond between the two.

"I have ridden before, a few times with the nanny. My mother paid for lessons, probably just to get me out of her way so she could work without having me to worry about." Meredith unclipped the lead rope, patted Lady's shoulder, and placed her left foot in the stirrup of the Western saddle before promptly swinging herself gracefully up into the deep seat. Addison widened her eyes in surprise before doing the same, settling herself into the supple English saddle. Addison smiled at Meredith, her blue eyes shining in the afternoon sunlight, and applied a little leg pressure, and Avalon began walking towards the worn dirt path leading out to one of the paddocks, Lady following obediently behind. Addison guided the bay into the paddock, and Meredith pulled up alongside of Avalon and Addison, the two horses content to match their pace.

"Gosh I haven't had this much fun in a long time. The hospital really becomes your life." Meredith said, "Don't get me wrong, I love it, but it is nice to get out and do something un-medically related," she quickly added, momentarily remembering Addison was still an attending, and still technically her boss. _That's kind of hot, _she thought, slipping into a bit of a daydream of seeing Addison in her heels and white coat, glasses perched on her nose, dragging her into an infamous on-call room. Lady suddenly shied slightly as a bird flew up out of the grass alongside, and Meredith instinctively clutched a chunk of mane and pushed her heels down in the stirrups.

"I think this girl is ready to go!" she exclaimed, momentarily breathless as the adrenaline pumped through her brain. "Come on Addie, I'll race you!"

"Meredith!" Addison called out, but it was too late as the blonde had already clapped her heels to Lady's side, and all Addison saw was a black blur streak past her. "Damn it Meredith, you're going to be the death of me," she muttered to herself as she squeezed her legs around Avalon's sides, and the bay needed no more encouragement as they took off in pursuit of the galloping pair. Avalon streaked along the fence line, his hooves pounding the ground, as they drew closer to Meredith and Lady. As Addison came up alongside of Meredith, they grinned at each other and simultaneously slowed their horses into a collected canter. Addison had skill and technique in the saddle, while Meredith had ease and instinct. They continued rocking slowly around a corner of the paddock, and tightened the reins, slowing the horses down to a trot, and then a walk. Avalon snorted and shook his head at being slowed, and Lady echoed her disapproval, but both obediently stayed to a walk.

"Addie, you're beautiful. I love seeing you with the horses; you are so happy around them." Meredith grinned at the surgeon who felt a blush rise up into her cheeks.

Addison smiled and shook her head. "I'm happy with you, Mer." The two were headed back towards the barn, and the horses were calmly walking abreast so that Meredith and Addison's knees were bumping into each other. Addison shifted her weight slightly and leaned over to Meredith, who responded by leaning in for a quick kiss. Lady's ears flicked back, and the two dissolved into quiet giggles as they walked the horses out of the paddock gate and dismounted. They led their horses to the rail and the girl from before came around the barn to take the horses lead's from the women. Meredith stroked the black mare and planted a soft kiss on her muzzle before the brunette led them back to the barn. The sun was beginning to set, and the doctors walked back to the vehicle. Addison grabbed the lunches from the trunk, and tossed one to Meredith before getting back into the driver's seat.

Addison put her hand on Meredith's leg. "I had so much fun today Mer, thanks for letting me show you a little bit of my past." Meredith mustered as much of a smile as she could, her mouth full of peanut butter. Addison noticed the huge bite out of the sandwich, and laughed as she buckled her seatbelt and shifted the SUV into gear. Meredith's phone buzzed from the side compartment where she had left it, and she gasped. Addison seemed to read her thoughts.

"Don't worry, I told Richard to tell Derek you were safe and with me." Addison tensed, and managed a tiny smile.

"So, back to reality and responsibility, huh?" Meredith grimaced, imagining what was going to happen at the hospital tomorrow. "I have to tell him Addie."

"I know. But you're not alone; I'll be there. I'll be there forever. I can be your reality now." Addison smiled as she leaned over and met Meredith for a kiss, and turned back onto the interstate.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Sorry it's been a little bit since my last chapter. I've been busy with work and moving out of my apartment, but I finally got this one ready for ya'll! Without grapenut01, this would not be possible. Oh, and I also dedicate this chapter to Dr. Cuddy's ass. JUST SAYING. Enjoy! **

**xx **

* * *

Meredith got home late that night. She hadn't wanted to leave Addison's arms. She slipped into her house, tip-toeing up the stairs, trying to avoid the creaky fourth step on the stairs. Luckily, the doors to Izzie's and George's rooms were shut, and she squeezed through her bedroom door, discovering a sleeping Derek on the left side of her bed. She didn't feel like opening that can of worms, so she quietly undressed and threw on her Dartmouth shirt and a pair of sweats and slid under the covers.

The alarm shrilled loudly as soon as her head hit the pillow. She heard Derek groan and reach over her to hit the off button, and she flinched involuntarily as his arm dropped down to rest around her side.

"Good morning stranger." He leaned over to her and kissed her cheek. She noticed the roughness of the stubble on his face for the first time, and she grimaced at how unpleasant it felt. Meredith muttered out a 'good morning' before jumping into the shower. She showered quickly, not wasting any time, and she pulled on a pair of jeans and a jacket while throwing her hair up into a messy ponytail. Arms suddenly wrapped around her middle and pulled her close, and Derek's face was beside hers in the mirror. She tensed and pulled away from his grasp, and he furrowed his brow.

"Mer, what's wrong?" He questioned her, looking very similar to a dog that had just been kicked. She avoided his eyes.

"Nothing," she said, her voice going higher, "I just want don't want to be late on my first day back."

They rode together in silence; the tension hung in the air, unasked questions answered. The second the tires hit the curb at the top of the parking space, Meredith's feet hit the cement, and she hurried in the glass doors of Seattle Grace.

"Meredith, wait!" Derek came up alongside her. "Hold up a second; what's going on?"

Meredith sighed and headed towards the elevator. "Not now, Derek." His hand grabbed her elbow, and he whirled her around to face him. His eyes searched her face rapidly, and she met his gaze for the first time that day. "I have rounds, Derek. We'll talk later."

"Are we okay?" he asked. When she looked at him, his eyes seemed like they lost all the light in them. Her eyes softened slightly, and her shoulders shrugged in defeat.

"I don't know." She turned and walked into the elevator, his eyes watched her until the doors closed. He stood still, trying to process what happened, and his eyes scanned over the hospital, and his eyes focused on a motionless figure on the second floor walkway. Addison Montgomery met his gaze, before she walked away, her heels clicking on the tile. Derek inhaled, and a knowing look overtook his face.

* * *

Meredith hurried into the locker room, yanking her locker open and tossing her bag and shoes inside in one motion. She pulled on her scrub top and pants, and she swung her legs up on top of the bench and laced up her tennis shoes. She jumped up to her feet and found Cristina, Izzie, George, and Alex peering down the row of lockers, already donning their scrubs.

"What?" she asked, "I'm fine."

"Well, she doesn't have two heads, so I don't think Satan bit her." Cristina said, tilting her head, as if she was trying to get a good look at Meredith.

"Oh my god, you guys, we just talked. She listened. I needed that." _I needed her. _"She's actually not satanic at all." Meredith slammed her locker door shut, rolling her eyes at her friends.

"Maybe she did bite her." Cristina said, narrowing her eyes at her. Izzie snorted, just as Bailey came around the corner.

"Alright, I know it's extremely difficult, but put your sad little personal lives aside. We've got an incoming trauma coming in; Grey, you're coming with me to the pit, the rest of you, I've got labs and charts for everybody. Alright people, let's move!" Bailey barked out, striding out of the room, everyone dispersing as assigned, Meredith hot on Bailey's heels. The pair burst through the doors to the ER and met two medics wheeling a gurney with a teenage girl on it.

"Allison Jameson, sixteen, multiple lacerations to the left wrist," one of the medics rattled off, "unconscious, possible suicide attempt."

"Is she breathing?" Bailey leaned in and put her ear next to the girl's mouth, exhaling unnoticeably when she heard shallow, shaky breathing. "Alright, let's get her some air. And Meredith, get some clean bandages, some cool water, and a suture kit." Bailey stepped away from the girl, and Meredith took her place. The girl's left arm was turned underside up, her delicate fingers slightly curled towards her palm, where a dark pool of blood had gathered. From the crook of her elbow down, blood stained the once-white cloth that covered the length of her arm. Cristina, Izzie, and George came running into the ER.

"You paged, Dr. Bailey?" George questioned, looking at the almost empty ER. The doors burst open once more, paramedics pushing in gurneys once again.

"Multiple vehicle collision, I need all hands on deck," Bailey called out, "Where's Karev?"

"He's in surgery with Dr. Montgomery," Izzie stated quickly as the interns dispersed amongst the car crash victims.

"We'll do without him. Grey, you going to be good there?" Miranda Bailey threw a cautious, questioning glance over her shoulder to Meredith, who nodded reassuringly.

"Yeah, Dr. Bailey." The blood flow had slowed, and Meredith was almost ready to clean up the area and stitch up the cut. The girl's eyelids fluttered open, and she met Meredith's eyes.

"Look, before you judge me, you've just got to know, I had no other way out. I'm a foster kid. That means being tossed around from place to place, and not having a constant. I have sex because that's the only way that I feel anything at all. And even that isn't enough because I always end up tossed aside and alone. There is the heat and the fire in the sex, but there is no love. I will never know what love is. Whenever I have a rough day, there is no one there to listen. There is only emptiness and distance. So I just stopped trying. I know how to survive; the life of a foster kid teaches you that, but I just stopped trying."

"I understand, you know," Meredith said, "You don't have to justify yourself to me."

Allison winced as Meredith went through her skin with the needle at the top of the cut. "You're the first person who's said that to me.

"Well, I know what it's like to grow up without parents, and I know what it feels like to be a regret. My mother was a surgeon, here at this hospital actually. She was one of the best and most highly regarded surgeons in the world." Meredith opened up to Allison, trying to distract her as she stitched up the long cut. "But there was one thing my mother wasn't very good at, and it was being a parent. I was an inconvenience to my mother, and she could barely look at me. My father was a joke; he couldn't handle being my mother's husband, and he left us. I know how it feels to be given up, and I know how it feels to try to fill that void." Meredith finished sewing up the delicate skin on the girl's arm and looked at her; Allison's eyes were brimming with tears. She clasped Allison's hand. "But this is not the way out. I know, I know, you had a moment where you just stopped wanting to keep going, but look around you. There are so many things to keep holding on for. And there is someone that will be glad you did," Meredith smiled at the girl and looked up, and saw Addison leaning on the other side of the wall, just around the corner. She grinned and gave Allison's hand a squeeze before getting up and walking over to Addison.

"How long have you been spying on me Dr. Montgomery?" The intern's eyes sparkled and focused intently on Addison's, whose had blurred slightly with the prick of tears.

"I'm holding on for you, okay? Don't you ever stop breathing on me again," Addison spoke in a low voice, as nurses bustled around the two women.

"What the hell is this?" Derek's sharp voice sliced through the air, and Meredith closed her eyes briefly before turning to face him. "Is this some sort of sick joke?"

"Addison, will you give me a minute?" Meredith asked over her shoulder, not turning or moving her steely gaze from Derek's accusing one.

Addison cleared her throat and spoke softly. "Sure." She walked past Meredith and fixed a warning glare towards her ex-husband, before walking away down the hallway.

"So my dirty mistress is shacking up with my cheating ex-wife?" His voice was raised and drawing the attention of the nurses all the way down at the nurses station.

"Derek, you're making a scene." Meredith grabbed his scrub top, pulling him into an on-call room, shutting the door behind them. He strode to the end of the room, ran his hand through his hair in desperation and then turned to face her. "I love you, Derek, but I'm not in love with you. I'm in love with Addison."

"Is this some kind of lesbian curiosity that just happens to be between my girlfriend and my ex-wife? Really Meredith, of all the people you've picked, did you just have to open your legs to my ex?"

Meredith's hand landed square across his cheek. "You do NOT get to call me a whore, Derek Shepard. You left me, remember? After my accident, you didn't want anything to do with me or it. You're a brain surgeon Derek, you should know that you can't just ignore a problem and expect it to go away or to fix itself. I needed someone, and she was that someone. She loves me."

Derek sneered at her as he grabbed her and pushed her up against the wall. "Addison doesn't know the meaning of the word. You need me, and I'm going to be anything but distant right now." He bit the side of her neck as she shrieked and struggled against him, but he had her hands pinned by her sides. She went numb, and her mind drifted.

* * *

Addison was pacing in her office. She respected Meredith's wish to do this on her own, but she was starting to worry. Instinct got the better of her, and she opened the door and strode out down the hallway. She was at the top of it when she heard someone cry out. Bailey and Mark Sloan came around the corner of the ER and met Addison.

"Have you seen Meredith?" Addison asked, her eyes searching the hallway and the corridors around.

A passing nurse paused and said, "I saw her go into an on call room with Dr. Shepard."

Addison didn't hesitate before flinging the door open to the on call room that the nurse had gestured at. What she saw made her see red. Derek was standing over Meredith, HER Meredith, with his hand at the top of her throat, and she was clutching at his hand. His pants were offset, and Meredith's were bunched down her thighs. Bailey blinked and yelled out at him, but Addison was already there. She lunged at Derek and threw him away from Meredith, who crumpled to the ground. Addison whirled around on Derek, and hit him square in the jaw.

"Addison…I…I'm sorry. I don't-" he started, his voice shaking.

"Don't you fucking dare talk to me about sorry!" Addison lunged at Derek again, and was held back by Mark.

"Addison, Meredith needs you right now." Mark nodded towards the intern, who lay still with a fixed expression on her face. Two security guards burst into the room, and grabbed the shoulders of Derek Shepard.

Addison turned back to Meredith's still form, and instantly cradled Meredith to her, rocking her gently. Derek was being shoved out of the room, and Mark and Bailey were talking in hushed tones by the door. Meredith caught Bailey's sad look, and began trembling.

"Shhh, baby, it's okay. I'm here, I'm here." Addison soothed, her blood still coursing hot through her veins. She was livid inside, but she had to be calm for Meredith.

"Addison, take Meredith home. I'll talk to the Chief," Bailey murmured softly, lowering her voice and speaking directly to Addison. "She'll uh…she'll need to come in later for a kit-"

"He didn't rape me." Meredith's flat tone and words broke Addison's heart. _There's so much damage. _"He couldn't get it up. He didn't rape me," she repeated and turned her face into Addison, the older woman's arms tightening protectively around Meredith, shielding her with her body.

"Okay Meredith," Bailey said, "And Addison, take as much time as you need."

* * *

The walk to Addison's car was slow. Everything around Meredith seemed to be moving in slow motion. The nurses seemed to float by, as if they were ghosts hovering around the hallways, and everything seemed so dim. It was if all the happiness had gone from Meredith's world, and her only lifeboat was in the form of the red-headed neonatal surgeon, who had one arm around Meredith's waist, holding them close. Addison kept her gaze straight ahead, glaring at anyone who even looked at Meredith. For a moment, her eyes diverted as they walked past the Chief's office, where Cristina Yang was being restrained by Mark and Izzie from a cowering Derek. Addison tightened her arm around Meredith, and turned her away from the scene playing out in front of them and guided her towards the locker room. She saw Meredith's eyes fixating on the office before tearing away as Chief Webber slammed his hands on the desk and moved around the desk, his mouth moving rapidly, forming words that Meredith could only imagine would make a sailor blush. Meredith didn't even notice until Addison squeezed her gently that they were in front of her locker, and Meredith mechanically removed her scrub top and pants, before sliding her jeans on and pulling her bag out. She shut the door to her locker, and Addison replaced her arm around her waist, and moved her quickly through the hospital until they were exiting the front doors. Addison reached in her purse that Bailey had set out for her, and pulled out her keys and unlocked the doors to her SUV, and opened the passenger door while Meredith got in.

As she walked around the vehicle, Addison's mind raced. She knew Meredith wasn't okay; she was doing what she always does when something bad happens. She's removing herself mentally from the situation, _she's giving up. She's not able to breathe on her own. _Derek had broken this woman more than Addison had ever thought possible. Derek's name in her thoughts scathed a trail of fire that burned in her eyes. Addison paused for a split second before opening the door. _What if Derek actually raped her? _The thought repulsed her, but she took a deep breath and calmed herself, ready to breathe for Meredith Grey.

Addison stepped up into the car and her eyes flicked to Meredith, whose eyes were focused straight ahead. The girl had not talked or made any sign that she was alive, other than the steady rise and fall of her chest, indicating that she was still breathing. She did not blink, she did not break her stare. Addison sighed to herself and started the engine. She put the car into reverse, and the two made their way out of the hospital parking lot.

"Mer…honey, where do you want to go? We can stay at your house, or we can go to my hotel room?" Addison asked tenderly.

Meredith never broke her stare out of the window. "I want to go home."

Addison turned out of the parking lot heading in the direction of Meredith's house. Meredith put her hand on Addison's leg causing the surgeon to flinch and jump so violently that her head almost connected with the roof of the vehicle. "I want to go HOME."

Understanding the inflection in the younger woman's voice, Addison turned at the nearest intersection and headed in the direction that she came from earlier that morning. Meredith took her hand away and folded it into her own lap. Addison navigated professionally through the traffic, and soon they were pulling into the parking garage of her hotel. Addison put the SUV into park and was slightly surprised to see Meredith slide out of her door. The redhead pulled the keys out of the ignition and picked up her purse and got out of the big vehicle. They walked into the lobby of the hotel and were waved past by the front desk clerk, and the two got into the elevator, and Meredith hit the "P" button, before retreating back to her corner in the elevator. Addison widened her eyes slightly at the girl's odd behavior, but shook it off as the elevator dinged and stopped at their floor. Meredith followed Addison out of the elevator and down the hall. Addison shuffled her keys forward and fiddled with them in the door before opening it and walking into the lavish suite. Addison put her keys in the bowl on the counter and dropped her purse by it before she was whirled around and pushed hard back into the counter.

Meredith kissed her furiously, her lips finding the redhead's, and plunged her tongue into Addison's parted lips. Meredith had Addison's body pinned, and Addison was going crazy with being held back. She knew Meredith needed this right now, she needed to feel. Addison knew exactly how she felt, and she was determined to make this girl feel more than she had ever felt before. Moving her mouth hard against the intern's, she snaked her arm up and gently pulled the hair tie out of Meredith's hair, feeling it cascade down around her arm. Meredith's hands tightened on Addison's waist as she slammed her back into the refrigerator. Addison arched her back in a mixture of pain and pleasure. The heat seemed to engulf them as they ran into almost every piece of furniture in the kitchen, and Meredith shoved Addison towards the bathroom. Tongues battled, and Addison let out a cry and closed her eyes as Meredith bit down on her lower lip. Meredith's hands fumbled with Addison's blouse and with a frustrated groan she pulled it apart and tore it down Addison's shoulders.

Addison opened her eyes, reaching for Meredith's jacket, but Meredith was one step ahead of her and the intern's jeans joined her jacket and bra on the floor. Addison's hands grabbed onto Meredith's hips, relishing the feel of the girl's warm skin before reaching and letting one breast settle into her hand, and Meredith's already skilled hands found the zipper on Addison's skirt. As the skirt fell to the floor, to Addison's surprise, her red lacy panties went with it. Addison moved in and went for Meredith's neck, biting down, and Meredith flinched. Addison froze momentarily, her thoughts drifting back to what happened in the on call room. She stepped back, but Meredith pushed her back into the glass doors of the shower before pressing herself flush against Addison, her hands undoing the clasp of Addison's bra. Meredith pushed down her own underwear, black lace joining the crimson bra on the shower mat. Meredith turned the handle in the shower, and water came spraying out of the showerhead.

The two met in a frenzied kiss, hands roaming, skin on skin. Addison's hands snuck around the back of Meredith, one skimming down her slight hips to her shapely backside, and the other going between their bodies to Meredith's thighs. Meredith threw her weight against Addison who stumbled backwards into the shower and tried to regain her footing, but Meredith divulged on her, pressing her back to the wall, her teeth dragging roughly against Addison's collarbone. Addison's leg was between Meredith's thighs, and even though the water was pulsating around the two, Addison could feel Meredith's arousal, warm and damp, on her leg. Addison moaned, and without thinking, flipped Meredith around and pinned her to the wall of the shower. Meredith's eyes went wide, and Addison could have cried as she watched the fire and the passion drain out of the intern's eyes. They kept fading, until all the life had gone out of them. Addison pulled the woman to her, all thoughts of pleasure gone from her mind, and held Meredith to her.

"I'm so sorry baby, I'm so sorry." Addison spoke softly, stroking the girl's damp hair, as Meredith stared straight over her shoulder. There was no trembling, no movement. Addison pulled away, and Meredith picked up a bar of soap and began scrubbing at herself. Addison watched as Meredith poured a handful of shampoo into the palm of her hand, and ran her fingers through her blonde hair, massaging the liquid into a foam, and she closed her eyes as the spray ran over her face. Addison backed out of the shower.

"Mer, I'm going to make us something to eat, okay?" Addison could have kicked herself. She had known better. _After what that sick bastard had almost done to her today..._Addison shuddered at the thought of what she could have walked in on, and picked up her clothes and shut the door on the way out. She threw on a baggy t-shirt and a pair of sweats, and went to the kitchen. Her sanctuary. It was there that she did the majority of her thinking. She filled a pot with water and set it to boil on the stove. Addison pulled a few potatoes out of the bag and took to peeling them. She kept shaking her head, and skinned furiously at the last potato. She set the potatoes carefully into the pot, jumping slightly and wincing as one splashed some hot water onto her arm.

"Damn it!" Addison ran to the sink and turned on the cold water and ran her arm under it. She shut the water off, and when she turned around, the bathroom door was still shut. "Mer?" Addison leaned up against the door. "Mer, honey, can I come in?" She paused, waiting for a response, and when she got none, her instinct got the best of her once more that day, and she pushed open the door. The shower door was shut, and there was so much steam collected on the doors, that she could barely make out a shape towards the bottom of the shower. Addison flung open the shower door, and the steam whooshed out. When it cleared, her heart dropped. Meredith was curled in the fetal position under the stream, her skin raw and red. Addison shut off the showerhead, and got in the shower with her, wincing as she stepped on something hard. She removed her foot, and saw one of her razors lying just past Meredith's outstretched hand. Gasping, Addison's eyes frantically scanned Meredith's body for any cuts or injuries, but aside from the raw skin, there were none. Even though Meredith was soaking wet, Addison saw tears trickling down her face. She sat in the shower, not even noticing that her clothes were now soaked, and she pulled Meredith off the shower floor, and cradled Meredith to her like she cradled her newborn patients. She stroked the girl's hair softly and rubbed her back as Meredith took ragged breaths.

"He hurt you, didn't he baby?"


	5. Chapter 5

Meredith's whole body tensed, and Addison felt the girl's spine go rigid. That was all the answer was going to get, but it was all she needed. Addison's chest felt tight, like she couldn't get enough air to breathe. God help Derek Shepard, because he was going to need all the help he could get. The red-head's eyes flashed as her mind fought to process the disgustingly vile act that the woman she loved had just gone through. She shuddered, and the thoughts that had clouded her mind slowly vanished as she felt Meredith shivering subtly in her arms.

"Mer…we need to get you dried off and in some clothes, okay?" Addison shifted slightly, placing her hand on Meredith's back, and she let an inaudible breath out when Meredith straightened and sat steadily. _She's responding; she's still here with me. _It was a tiny movement, but it felt like a huge step to Addison. Addison crouched down by Meredith, tucking the hair that had plastered itself to Meredith's face behind her ear. Meredith averted her eyes, but stood, holding onto Addison who quickly wrapped her in a towel.

Addison searched Meredith's face, and realizing she wasn't going to get eye contact, she sighed softly and spoke gently. "I'm going to go get some things from my room that you can wear until we get some clothes for you, okay?" Meredith nodded slightly, almost unnoticeably. Addison slipped out of the bathroom and hurried to her bedroom, going through her wardrobe, trying to find something that would be comfortable and would fit the blonde. She settled on a pair of yoga pants that were slightly short on her and a baggy gray sweatshirt she found in one of her drawers. She shed her damp sweats and pulled on a pair of silky pajama pants, before picking up the clothes for Meredith, and she swept out of the room. Addison walked through her living room, and reentered the bathroom. Meredith was standing in front of the mirror in her bra and panties that she had obviously picked up off the floor, and she was running her fingers through her hair. Addison's blue eyes widened briefly, and then she walked up to Meredith and put a slim hand on Meredith's shoulder.

"These might be a little big," Addison started, slightly taken aback at Meredith's change in mood, "but they'll have to do until we can pick up some of your things."

"Thanks Addie." Taking the clothes from Addison, Meredith spoke for the first time since the car ride on the way home from the hospital. Addison couldn't hide the shock from her expression; Meredith sounded completely normal. _It's a front. She's blocking it out again. _It was bound to surface eventually, but today was not the day to tackle it. Meredith pulled on the clothes, shrugging into the sweatshirt that smelled distinctly like Addison. The woman's scent calmed her, and she felt herself take a breath and relax momentarily.

"I was making dinner, but I think I'll just get room service to bring something up. Are you hungry?" Addison instinctively wanted to wrap the vulnerable girl in her arms, but Meredith was set rigid once again, and she wasn't about to make a wrong move for the second time that day. The girl shook her head.

Addison managed a sad smile and lightly said, "Well, I'm starving, so I'm going to order up some Chinese I think and see what's on TV in the bedroom, okay?" She paused, waiting for Meredith to balk, but was surprised when Meredith looked up and reached her hand out for Addison's. She took it gently, squeezing slightly. "Come on Mer." Addison led Meredith out of the bathroom and into her bedroom. Meredith's hand slipped out of Addison's and she trailed towards the far side of the bed, and tentatively sat down. She found the remote on the nightstand and lifted her legs up, propping herself up against the elegant mahogany headboard, and flicked on the flat screen that was mounted on the opposite wall. Addison picked up the phone from the table and quickly ordered some sweet and sour chicken and rice. She placed the phone back down, and sat down on the right side of the bed. Addison fluffed a pillow, and placing it behind her, she mimicked Meredith's earlier movement and leaned back into the pillow. She stretched her long legs and looked to the television, where Audrey Hepburn's sunglasses-clad face was staring into the window at Tiffany's. She loved this movie, and if it were under any other circumstances, Addison would have been thrilled to see it on ABC. She felt Meredith's eyes on her in her peripheral vision, and she turned and locked eyes with Meredith.

Addison didn't know what had changed, but there was a glimmer of life in the intern's eyes.

"Do you want me to-" Addison started the question, but Meredith moved towards her slightly, shifting her body closer to the attending.

"Yes." Meredith collapsed into Addison's open arms, letting out a sigh that she had been keeping in all day. "Just hold me."

Addison tucked the girl in close to her, and settled down further on the bed. She ran her fingers tenderly through Meredith's wavy hair, tousling the gentle waves and lightly running her neatly manicured nails over Meredith's scalp. She could feel Meredith's chest rising and falling rhythmically against her side, and within a few minutes, her even breathing told Addison she was asleep. Addison let out a sigh herself, glad that the girl had been able to feel comfortable enough to find sleep. There was a knock at the door to the suite, and Addison groaned quietly. _Room service. _She shifted her weight towards the edge of the bed, easing Meredith gently from her arms, and was relieved to see the girl didn't wake. She slipped out the bedroom door, whisked up her bag from the kitchen counter, before going to the door and paying the man generously for her food. She shut and locked the door after him, and she entered the bedroom once again, this time with a box emitting a delicious aroma that could only belong to the sweet and sour chicken.

Addison softly clicked the door shut, and settled into an overstuffed armchair in the corner of her dimly lit bedroom. The gas fireplace flickered gently, flashing little shadows over Meredith's face. She looked so peaceful. A tear fell from Addison's eye, the first feeling other than anger that she had let herself show that day. She wiped it away quickly with the back of her hand. This was about Meredith. She was not going to let that bastard get away with violating every emotion the girl had, not to mention violating her body and taking with him, her dignity and pride. Addison dug into her rice, deftly using the chopsticks to bring unsurpassed amounts to her mouth. Her gaze shifted from Meredith to the television, where Paul and Holly were kissing passionately with Cat pressed in between them. She wanted so desperately to show that kind of love to Meredith, to show her love in every place that Derek had violated. Addison was prepared to wait as long as she had to. Her Blackberry began to vibrate in the pocket of her sweats, and she set down her chopsticks and accepted the Chief's phone call.

"Richard, I figured you were going to call." Addison spoke in a hushed voice, her eyes on Meredith's sleeping form.

"How is she?" Chief Webber's concern for Ellis Grey's daughter was unmasked, and Addison let out a small sigh.

"She's asleep. She hasn't eaten all day, that worries me, but I guess it's to be expected." Addison was relieved to have someone to talk to about the day's events, but her relief was short-lived as the Chief spoke again.

"Addison…I'm in a tough spot here. I don't know what happened in that room today, I'm not sure anyone knows for sure, but I have my suspicions. If Derek did what everyone is talking about, I need to have her come in and be…looked at." Chief Webber seemed to be struggling with his words, and Addison confirmed his fears.

"She wouldn't be able to have a…well, she couldn't be examined anyway Richard, she's showered already." Addison braced herself for the lecture she was sure to have.

Richard didn't disappoint, his slightly elevated voice made Addison cringe. "Addison, you of all people should have known better than to let a…someone who's in her situation shower afterwards! Or have you stopped being able to separate your personal life from your job?"

Addison set the remains of her dinner on the nightstand before entering the master bathroom and closing the door. She perched on the edge of the bathtub, and put her head in her hand.

"Richard, you're not the only one who's emotionally involved in this!" Addison cried out, exasperated. "It's been hard on me too."

* * *

Meredith had awoken from her sleep, and moaned Addison's name, and gotten up with a start when there was no response, and she realized the bed was empty. She saw a sliver of light from under the bathroom door, and she heard Addison's commanding voice coming from behind it. Meredith got out of bed and cocked her head near the door.

"I know she's Ellis Grey's daughter, and she feels like yours, but I love her too. How do you think this has made me feel? Because of me, Derek Shepard has broken this girl almost beyond repair, and while I'm trying my best to breathe for Meredith, you're here lecturing me when you need to be supporting me!" Addison ran a hand through her tousled hair, looking at her unkempt appearance in the mirror.

"Alright, well, then you need to know where things stand then. Because Meredith denied any forced assault, and because she is unable to complete a kit, I have no legal grounds to terminate Derek's contract." Richard Webber paused before continuing. "However, I can temporarily suspend him from the hospital, until it is medically necessary for him to be back. Addison, is there a reason why you think Derek would do something like this? It's not in his character."

Addison chose her words carefully, then let out a breath and went with honesty. "Meredith and I…well, I love her. I don't know how it happened, but it did, and she was going to tell him today. Richard, you know that I can separate my personal life from my work, but it would be completely impossible for me to carry on. I'm not leaving Meredith, no matter what happens, and I am going to go through this with her, every step of the way, until she can breathe on her own again."

There was silence on the end of the phone, and Addison thought he had hung up, when the Chief finally spoke. "She needs you Addison, that's my…Ellis's little girl there, do anything you need to do. Take as much time as you need, your job isn't going anywhere. But Addison," the Chief took on a warning tone, "Don't hurt her. Don't you leave her. She's been left alone for too long."

"I'm not going anywhere."

Meredith heard Addison stand, and she quickly laid back down on the queen sized bed, shutting her eyes and evening out her breathing. She heard the bathroom door squeak open, and heard Addison moving around next to the bed. Her mind was racing with thoughts and worries, and she flinched as she felt Addison slide into bed beside her.

"It's okay baby, it's just me. I'm here. And I'm not going anywhere." Addison pulled the girl into her arms once more, and stroked her back, feeling her body relax and settle in next to her. Meredith's eyes fluttered open, her eyelashes brushing Addison's chest, and she tilted her head back looking into Addison's blue eyes.

"Promise?"

"I promise."

* * *

_The door was slamming. Derek was yelling. Then he was pleading with her._

"_I'm sorry Meredith, I'm so sorry. I should have been there for you. But I'm here now. I can give you what you want. I'm not taking no for an answer."_

_He was close. Too close. Then she was pinned. Her back was up tight against the wall, and he was pressing himself up against her. She could feel his erection hard against her thigh, and she screamed. He was at her throat, biting hard, too hard. His hand yanked at the string on her scrub pants as his breath was hot on her neck. Her pants were dropping, and his hand snaked up her top. His other hand was pulling furiously at his pants. She was too close. Her head spun, her mind numbing at what was happening. She felt the tip of him pushed up against her opening. Her breathing was shallow and coming in short bursts. He knew she wanted him. But Meredith's mind was screaming. She wanted Addison. Addison. _

"Addison! Addie, no please! Addie!" Meredith was shaking violently, and strong arms held her captive. She struggled violently; she was not going to let Derek hold her back.

"Meredith, baby shhh. It's okay, it's me. I'm here." soothed Addison, holding tight to the girl, stroking her hair, "I've got you."

The neonatal surgeon's husky voice brought Meredith from her nightmare. She opened her eyes, and all her senses came flooding back. This was Addison. It was her smell, her voice, her hands in her hair, and when Meredith's tear-flooded eyes flicked up ashamedly to the red-head's face, she saw her eyes. Those sparkling blue eyes were looking into her face, overflowing with love and concern. She stopped thrashing and looked away.

"I'm sorry…I was-"

"You were having a nightmare. I know. You've been restless all night. Meredith," Addison placed her fingers under Meredith's chin, forcing her head up, and Meredith's eyes to meet her own, "I'm here. I don't care how many nightmares you have, or how many bad things happen to you, I'm here. I'm never leaving you."

Meredith's tear-blurred eyes spilled over, and Addison leaned down so her face was a few inches from Meredith's face. "Meredith, I'm going to kiss your tears away now, is that okay?" The girl nodded, and Addison's lips were on her cheeks. This was different than earlier. This was soft and cool. Addison's hands came to Meredith's face as she continued kissing Meredith's tears, and she tenderly kissed her forehead. Meredith fisted her fingers into Addison's hair as it fell around her face, and she clung to her desperately.

Addison's lips brushed over Meredith's ear, and the girl shivered. "Shhhh, shhhh. I'm not leaving your side Meredith. I'll be right here, always." She felt Meredith nod her head against her own, and she lay back on the bed, and Meredith curled up into her side again. Addison didn't close her eyes until she was sure Meredith was sleeping soundly again, and then her eyelids drooped, and she succumbed to sleep.

* * *

Addison woke with a groan. She was relieved to feel the dead weight of Meredith's arm slung over her toned stomach; she was still sleeping. Addison looked to her nightstand and groaned quietly when she saw that it was only 6:00. She hadn't gotten much sleep during the night. Meredith had thrashed awake countless times throughout the night, and each time Addison had been right there, soothing her with her voice, trying to ease her pain and her fears. Addison propped a pillow up behind her, and very slowly she inched up until she was in a slouched position against the headboard. Meredith shifted in her sleep, her head dropping to Addison's hip. Addison picked up her glasses from the stand next to her, and she picked up her hardback copy of Wuthering Heights. She had read the book countless times, but she never tired of it. Addison had just begun to enter the dark realm when she felt Meredith stir against her hip. She put the book down on her stomach and peered over the top of her glasses, ready to hold tight to Meredith if she was having another nightmare, but the girl moved slowly and turned around to look at Addison.

"Hi," Meredith said sheepishly.

"Good morning." Addison spoke in that low voice that Meredith faintly remembered soothing her back to sleep during the night. She closed her eyes, taking comfort in her voice, and then opened them again.

"I heard you on the phone with the Chief last night." Meredith averted her eyes; she didn't want Addison thinking she'd spied on her.

"Meredith, you need to take some time off from work. Richard and I have discussed it, and we think it would be best for everyone. You and I are going to fly to LA for a week and take a little vacation." Addison smiled, "If you think that you're going to get away from me that easily, you're wrong. Richard has told me to take as much time as we need, and I'm determined to get you out there in the sun and have a little bit of fun."

Meredith sat up and looked down at her hands, picking at her fingernails. "Okay, but I don't want to talk. About what happened." She continued picking at her nails, until she was moving her hands furiously.

Addison moved her book onto the bed and leaned forward, taking Meredith's hands into her own. "You don't need to tell me anything you don't want to. I'm not asking you to talk. Just to come be with me."

"Okay," the girl nodded slowly, "When do we leave?"

"Tonight. I'm going to get a shower and then spend the rest of the day packing." Addison sat back on her knees, pushing a hand through her disheveled red hair. "Now, I'm going to go make a pot of coffee, and you are going to drink it. It's good for you," she added quickly, taking in Meredith's taken aback expression. Addison slid out of bed, feeling Meredith's eyes on her as she tossed a smile back at the girl. She grabbed her Blackberry from the charger on the nightstand, and made her way into the kitchen to start the coffee pot. Addison picked up her phone and found a number in it.

"Miguel? Hi this is Addison Montgomery. I need two tickets to LA tonight. About a week. Just fax them over to me. Thanks, you're the best." Addison hung up the phone, and then dialed another number, shutting herself in the bathroom. She leaned against the door, and waited for someone to pick up.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: I had to update before the episode tonight, because I will not be able to function for a few days after, so I apologize if you find mistakes. Cannot wait for Grey's tonight! Again, all rights are to Shondaland.**

* * *

Addison turned on the shower head, and was about to hang up, when someone picked up the line.

"Addison?" A woman's disbelieving voice came on the other end of the phone.

"Nae…I didn't think you'd answer." Addison slid with her back against the bathroom door, until she plopped to the ground. "I'm sorry for calling so early...I was about to take a shower, and I know I shouldn't be calling you…I haven't been a friend at all; my life's been a wreck lately, and I just didn't know what else to do."

"You're right; you haven't been a good friend." Naomi's no nonsense tone came as no surprise to Addison. Addison sighed, running a hand through her hair, and dropped her head down to her hand. "What, no response? Now I know something is wrong when you aren't there telling me how I'm a fat whore for saying that. Addison, what is it?"

"I don't even know where to start. You won't believe it. We have catching up to do, but I can't right now." Addison craned her neck towards the crack in the door where it met the door jam. She heard Meredith in the kitchen pouring a cup of coffee. Addison sighed in relief, and then sighed again. She lowered her voice slightly. "Long story short, Derek and I got a divorce. Remember how I told you that I suspected him of cheating? Well, he was, with an intern at Seattle Grace. Now I'm divorced and that intern is in my kitchen right now."

"Do you need help finding a place for the body?" Naomi's humor never ceased to get a laugh out of Addison, and she found relief in laughing for the first time in what seemed like forever.

"No, not at all." Addison chuckled at her situation. "You'll never believe you when I tell you this, but I'm in love with her. I'm in love with Meredith Grey. And I think, up until recently, she was in love with me." She cringed, waiting for the shrieking to begin.

"Wow, well, I always thought you had it in you. But wow, way to pick 'em Addie!" Naomi teased lightly, being careful of her friend's down state. "Uh, but…why recently?"

"Derek…sh-she went to tell him that things were over between them, and that she was in love with me, and he…h-he…" Addison's voice cracked, and she paused, collecting herself. "Anyway, he hurt her, and she's not okay. I'm with her now…she needs me there for her, but Nae, I'm scared to touch her! I don't want to scare her and make her afraid of me. I already ruined all chances of her holding him responsible for what he did…god Nae, I let her shower!" Addison smacked her palm on her forehead, grasping her unruly red hair before running her fingers through it. "Damn it, how could I be so blind? It's all my fault. If it weren't for me, he wouldn't have done what he did to her."

"Addison, you know that each person is responsible for their actions. You know this more than anyone else. There is no way to project blame onto another person. But right now, Meredith needs you. She may not act like it always, and she might have bad days, but you know that that is what is to be expected of someone who's just been assaulted. You're the strongest woman I know, Addison. If anyone can be there for another person, you can. You're a stubborn ass, you know. You aren't the type of person to give up on anyone, no matter the odds or the circumstance. So don't you give up on this one."

Addison smiled weakly. "I'm coming down to LA for the week, and Meredith is coming with me. We need a vacation, and I hope that it helps her come back out of her shell. She needs to know that I'm not leaving her, and wherever she goes, I go."

Naomi took a breath and processed everything before she responded. "And for the record, I'm happy for you. We do have catching up to do, but my stuff can wait. Meredith needs you to be there for her, so you and I will just have to take a trip sometime and do all our gossipin' and gabbing. Addison," Naomi's voice softened, "I'm glad you called me. We always seem to pick up right where we left off. But from now on, you better return my calls and get better at staying in touch with me. Or else I might just have to come up there and beat it out of you. Now go have your moment and take your shower. Then get back to Meredith. Don't leave her alone Addie; don't let this one go."

"Thank you. I'll call you soon, okay?" Addison got to her feet and untied the pajama pants with her free hand.

"I'll hold you to it." Naomi hung up the phone, glad that her friend had called. She only wished it could have been under different circumstances. Poor Meredith. They needed that vacation.

Addison set her phone down on the bathroom counter, and shimmied out of her pajama bottoms and t-shirt. She stared at herself in the mirror, noting the dark circles under her eyes, a combination of a lack of sleep and last night's makeup. She tested the shower water with her hand and got under the spray. The water hit her in the face, and she let it pour over her head.

_She was stumbling backwards, her back hit the shower wall and she winced, using her hands and legs to catch her balance and upright herself, but she was pushed back into the wall. The hungry look in Meredith's eye made Addison go weak in the knees. Meredith was hot against her thigh, and she was scraping her teeth against Addison's neck. Oh god, it was too much. She needed Meredith now. Addison let the fire flare up in her eyes and she pushed Meredith hard into the wall. She felt it before she saw it. Loss. Fear. Numbness. Then, she looked. Blankness. Emptiness. Nothingness._

Addison sank to the floor, leaning her head up against the shower wall. Then, she realized she was crying. She wasn't sure how long she'd been crying, but the hot tears felt as if they were scalding her cheeks. Meredith, her Meredith, had almost left her again. She had broken into so many pieces, and Derek did this. He had taken her Meredith from her, and he had broken her. She shuddered at the image of Meredith crumpled against the wall, weak and unmoving, while Derek was between her legs. Addison let herself cry because as soon as she came out of the shower, she was not going to be weak anymore. She was going to do everything it took to put Meredith back together again. She needed to show her love, undying love, to make her feel love again.

Addison finally cried enough and stood into the shower, quickly shampooing her hair and finished up. She stepped onto the fuzzy bath mat, and pulled a towel from the towel bar on the wall and wrapped it around herself. She felt ready. She felt strong again. Addison grabbed a smaller towel from the cupboard next to the sink and bent down, squeezing the water from her hair, and then ruffled it a couple times, letting the natural wave come through. She looked in the mirror a last time, and was happy with who she saw.

Addison picked up her phone for the third time that morning and quickly found the number she needed.

"Hello?"

"Stevens? Hi…it's uh…"

"Dr. Montgomery? Oh my god, is it Meredith? How is she? Is she okay? Bailey said you were there when you found her. Have you talked to the Chief?" Izzie Stevens rattled off questions left and right, and when she finally paused for a breath, Addison spoke.

"Meredith is here with me. She's uh…" Addison peered out the door, seeing Meredith sitting on the couch with this month's copy of Vogue magazine in her hand. Addison lowered her voice and crept back into the bathroom. "She's blocking it out for the most part. There are times when I can see her vulnerability show through, but she's having a rough time. I talked to Richard last night, and we both think it would be best that she took some time off. I have connections with some people in LA; I'm going to get her away from here for a little bit, and give her some time to…heal."

"Izzie, who the hell is that? I swear to God if Derek fucking Shepherd calls here one more time, I'm going to go over to his trailer and hang him by his own fishing line!" Cristina Yang's distinct voice barked sharply in the background, and Addison blanched at her words. _Derek was calling for Meredith. _

"It's Dr. Montgomery," stated Izzie bluntly, "She's with Meredith."

"Addison?" Meredith called out, close to the bathroom.

"Yeah honey, I'm almost out!" Addison cringed slightly as she had automatically used the term of endearment.

"Uh…Dr. Montgomery?" Izzie's confused voice questioned, and Addison mentally kicked herself.

"Look, I've got to go, but I'll see if I can get Meredith to call you. We're coming by to get some of her clothes today before we leave."

"Addie?" Meredith's voice was slightly elevated now.

"Gotta go Stevens." Addison clicked her phone off, and hurriedly rushed out of the bathroom.

Izzie Stevens pulled the landline away from her ear, staring oddly at the phone before clicking the off button. _Honey. _That word did not seem right coming out of Satan's mouth.

"What?" Cristina said between bites of a granola bar she had grabbed in their rush to get out of the door.

Izzie grabbed her bag and phone and said over her shoulder, "Dr. Montgomery…she just called Meredith…_honey." _

Cristina pulled a face. "Actual sentiment? From Satan? Jesus, there is some seriously weird shit going on around here."

The two interns made their way through the entryway and out the door, trekking through Derek's clothes that were strewn across the lawn.

* * *

Addison ran out of the bathroom and found Meredith sitting on one of the barstools in the kitchen, reading a newspaper and taking a bite of a nutrition bar before pulling a face. She let out a sigh of relief and walked over to her, clutching her towel to her tightly. Addison felt Meredith's eyes on her, but Meredith looked back down to her paper.

"Did you know they took Calvin and Hobbes out of the comics? And you seriously need to get some real food in here; this diety crap is killing me," Meredith cracked and took another bite. Addison leaned against the bar, noticing that the girl had changed back into her jeans and sweater, and she'd even managed to pull her hair up into a cute, messy ponytail. Addison smiled, for the first time in almost twenty four hours, and even though she knew it was just Meredith being Meredith, she wasn't going to ruin the mood by bringing that into the light.

"I don't spend a lot of time here! But when we get back, I promise we can load this place up with all sorts of junkie crap." Addison smirked, and waltzed off to the master bedroom to search for something to wear.

"Good, cause I don't know how long I can stand it without a microwave pizza." Meredith called out over her shoulder, and laughed out loud as she finished reading the comics.

* * *

Two hours later, and Meredith and Addison were hoisting three suitcases into the back of Addison's Range Rover.

"Do you really need a whole suitcase for your shoes?" Meredith grumbled as she lifted a heavy suitcase into the vehicle and dropped it with a thud.

"Is that a serious question?" Addison narrowed her eyes at the blonde, who giggled a little bit before circling around to the passenger door and hopping in. Addison shut the hatch, and she got in the driver's side. She set her purse down on the console between the two and put the keys in the ignition and started the vehicle. Addison pulled down her Christian Dior sunglasses; it was a nice day in Seattle for April. The sun was shining as she drove out of the parking garage, and she saw Meredith close her eyes. Addison was struck by a sense of déjà vu, and she remembered Meredith being like this merely two days ago when she took her horseback riding. It felt like forever ago. Meredith had been so carefree, so happy. Meredith reached her hand out towards Addison, lying it palm up between them, and Addison brushed her hand up against it gently, being careful not to startle her, before sliding her fingers between Meredith's, earning a smile from the intern whose eyes were still closed. Addison smiled too as she turned at the intersection; Meredith would be happy again.

"So I talked to Izzie this morning." Addison paused, and watched Meredith's face for a reaction, and was not surprised to see her open her eyes. "I told her we were stopping by to get some of your things and that we were going to LA for a little while."

"Yeah, I'll call the house after we get settled in LA. By the way, where are we staying?" Meredith changed the subject, and it did not go unnoticed by Addison.

"Uh, the Ritz-Carlton." Addison mumbled absentmindedly, and Meredith's jaw dropped.

"Addison, that's like, a couple thousand a night!" Meredith was in disbelief. She had known Addison was wealthy, but this woman spent her money left and right!

"It's no biggie, it's a nice place, and I want us to have a nice place to stay, that's all." Addison turned left onto Meredith's street. She came up to the house, and as soon as she pulled alongside the curb, she wished she hadn't. Meredith saw the same thing at the same time she did. It looked like a man's wardrobe had been dumped out onto the lawn.

"Oh god." Addison muttered under her breath, and she clambered out of the car as Meredith had already made her way up to the beginning of the walkway. She jogged around the front of the red Range Rover, and saw Meredith kneeling down, fingering a button-down shirt. Addison cursed, _Yang. _This whole thing just spelled Yang; the woman had a fiery temper. Not that she wouldn't have done the same. Addison knelt down next to Meredith, one trouser-clad knee on the sidewalk, and placed her slim arm around Meredith's back. Meredith jolted as if she'd been struck by lightning, and Addison's other arm shot across her front, holding the girl to her as she pulled her up.

"Come on baby, let's go get your things, okay?" Addison eased Meredith up the walkway, Meredith's eyes darting across the lawn, taking in almost every item that was present. Shirts, shoes, jeans, jackets…all of his stuff was here. He was suffocating her. She couldn't breathe. Meredith began breathing heavily, gasping for air.

"Mer, sweetheart, let's get you inside and you can sit down, and we can take a breather, alright?" Addison's calm, practiced voice from years of experience masked her fear well, and Meredith fumbled with the keys before bursting into the house. Addison spied the couch, but Meredith was braced hard against her.

"No, Addison, I just need to get my stuff and get out of here, okay? I just…I can't breathe." Meredith's voice went from pleading to almost a whimper, and Addison nodded.

"Okay, show me where your room is, and we'll get your things. We'll be out really quick, okay?" Addison reassured the girl, whose hand trembled slightly on the railing, and Addison slipped a hand onto her back, guiding her up the wooden stairs. Meredith went to the end of the hallway, and then balked at the door. Addison understood.

"I'll pack your things Mer, why don't you go wait in the car? I'll be out in a second." Addison held out the keys to the blonde, whose shaking hands took them, and she immediately turned around and hit the stairs at almost a run. Addison pushed open the door, and went to the closet, pulling out a suitcase from the shelf, and began filling it with tank tops and shorts that she found in the drawers of Meredith's wardrobe. She tossed in a nice pair of trousers and a top, and a black bikini she found underneath the shorts. Addison gave everything a once over; they could always just buy whatever else when they got there. She grabbed some sandals and a pair of red pumps and zipped the suitcase shut. The redhead lifted the suitcase off the bed, and made her way downstairs. The door to the house had been left wide open, and she could see Meredith in the passenger seat in the Rover. Addison checked the door and locked it, shutting it on her way out.

Addison slid into the car once again, after having tossed the suitcase in with hers, and she started the car quickly before turning to Meredith.

"Mer…" she started.

"Addison please, just drive." Meredith closed her eyes and leaned her head against the seat as Addison pulled away from the curb. Not until they were turning south on the interstate did Meredith exhale deeply. She reached out her hand for Addison's, the same way as before, and Addison took it, saying a silent prayer to God that this trip would be good for them.

* * *

About ten minutes later, Addison was pulling into the parking garage at Sea-Tac airport, driving cautiously up and around the spiraling roadway, turning into the gated area. She reached out of the window and waved her pass at the automated machine, and the gates opened, and she pulled into a spot next to one of the massive cement pillars. Addison shut off the ignition, and moved her sunglasses up on top of her head, her eyes adjusting to the dimly lit garage.

"Meredith, we're here." She reached a soothing hand out to stroke Meredith's cheek, and a smile cracked the younger woman's face, her eyes opening a fraction, and she nuzzled into Addison's cool hand.

"Baby, we're going to miss our plane. You can sleep once we get boarded." Addison hated disturbing Meredith, the woman looked like an angel sent straight from heaven when she slept.

"Mmmm, okay." Meredith yawned and stretched, and the women unloaded their luggage, and were soon walking across the sky bridge into the airport, fingers interlocked.

* * *

Thirty minutes later, they were in the air, sitting across from each other in the first class cabin. Meredith had protested, saying she didn't mind coach seating, but Addison would have none of it. Addison was propped up reading 'Wuthering Heights', and Meredith had cozied up with a blanket.

Meredith leaned her head up against the side of her seat, gazing over at Addison. She loved the way she made faces when she read certain parts of the book, and how her fingers curled around the spine of the book, and those glasses. Addison Montgomery was the most beautiful creature in the world, and Meredith adored her. _I can't believe she's mine. _

Addison looked up from her book, only to catch Meredith staring at her. A smile played at the corner of her mouth, and she lifted up the blanket from her lap and patted her roomy seat. Meredith immediately got up and snuggled up next to her, placing her head on the attending's stomach and she let out a small sigh as the older woman's hand began to work its magic in her hair. Addison set her book down and turned off the overhead light, shifting her body down the first class seat, relishing in the fact that it was more of a bed than a seat. She rested her head on top of Meredith's, breathing in the faint lavender scent that was distinguishably Meredith.

"Mmmm, Addie?" mumbled Meredith softly, her hand fisting in Addison's shirt. "I'm glad you got these seats." Addison laughed softly, and fell into a deep sleep.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N : **I've been on a Grey's kick since the musical event last week, and I have thus felt inspired. I'm excited for this chapter; feedback is appreciated! To those who have reviewed, thank you! I love hearing what ya'll think of the story. Rights to Shondaland and ABC. Enjoy!

* * *

Meredith stirred as the "fasten seatbelt" light flashed and dinged from overhead. She groaned softly and stretched against Addison's side. She still felt the steady rhythm of Addison's breathing, and the redhead's eyes were still closed, her lips parted slightly from sleep, and Meredith smiled. Addison was so gorgeous, even more so in sleep, if that was possible. Meredith slipped her arm across Addison's stomach and shifted her body up so that her head was level with Addison's. She rested her head on Addison's shoulder, and her hand began drawing invisible circles on Addison's side. The older woman jumped as if she'd been shot out of a rocket.

"Meredith! Oh god, you scared me." Addison laughed sheepishly and brought up one of her hands and rubbed the sleep out of her eyes, being careful not to smudge her makeup.

Meredith chuckled and raised an eyebrow at Addison. "I didn't know you were ticklish…imagine, Dr. Montgomery, the badass super surgeon, being _ticklish!"_ She reached across Addison to grab a bottle of water, and Addison opened the shade on the window of the plane. Meredith leaned on her elbow across Addison to look out the window, and she could see the ocean. The sun was shining in brightly through the window, and the rays caught the bangs of her blonde hair. Addison's eyes fixated on Meredith; the girl was smiling and pointing out the window, her lips moving, but Addison didn't hear her. She felt as if she were watching a movie. Meredith's eyes were light in the sun; almost…grey.

"Addison!" Meredith was looking at her now, with eyes slightly widened and a growing smirk on her face. "What are you staring at?"

Addison shook her head slowly, her lips parting into a smile. "Something extraordinary."

Meredith felt a blush creeping up around her neck and flooding into her cheeks. She smiled and turned her face back towards the window in embarrassment. This was not missed by Addison who refrained from commenting on it. She never wanted to stop telling Meredith how special she was. Her thoughts were interrupted by a sudden dip in the altitude, and Meredith shot upright and into her seat in the blink of an eye. Addison laughed before catching herself, and Meredith reached over and smacked her in the shoulder before dissolving into giggles as well. The two buckled themselves in for their descent into LA.

* * *

With a whoosh of warm LA air, Addison and Meredith walked through the tunnel and into LAX airport. Meredith eyes were huge as she looked excitedly out the big picture windows lining the airport. She grabbed Addison's hand and pulled her over to one of the windows.

"Mer," Addison laughed, "We have to go get our bags."

"Look Addie, look! It's sun!" Meredith joked, her Washington humor getting the better of her. "Alright, alright, let's go."

The two of them made their way down the escalators to the baggage claim area to wait for their bags. Meredith stood with her single suitcase, and heaved a deep sigh as Addison stood with her two and was looking for the third.

"Oh my god, it's the shoe suitcase, isn't it?" Meredith complained, never missing an opportunity to make fun of the attending. "I knew you should have only taken two bags."

"They better not have lost my shoes. There are Christian Louboutins in there!" Addison threatened, narrowing her eyes at one of the airport personnel, who offered her a forced sympathetic smile. Finally, Addison's designer suitcase stuffed full of shoes came around. Meredith took one of her bags, and the pair made their way out of the airport doors, each with two bags in tow, and into the glaring sun. Meredith was glad she had swapped her tennis shoes out for flip flops on the plane; the heat was engulfing. Addison looked like the picture of a New Yorker, standing on the edge of the curb in her heels and trousers, hailing a cab expertly and assigning the driver to load their bags.

Meredith took off her sweater as she slid into the backseat of the cab, the air conditioning in the taxi doing little against the burning rays of the California sun. It felt so good, and she rolled down the window, letting the warm breeze comb through her bangs. She closed her eyes beneath her sunglasses and let her mind go blank. Addison opened the door on the opposite side of the cab, and her breath caught in her throat. _It's amazing what a simple white tank top can do to me_, she thought, as she sat next to Meredith. It wasn't even scandalous, just simply clinging in the right spots and fitting loosely at the top of Meredith's jeans, curving slightly with her hips.

"Lady, where to?" The driver asked impatiently, and Addison stumbled over her words and made no attempt to tear her eyes away from the woman seated next to her.

"The uh…Ritz-Carlton."

The cab ride seemed to take forever, and Meredith fidgeted impatiently. She was not used to heavy traffic, and certainly not LA traffic, and Addison reached her hand over and placed it comfortingly on Meredith's thigh. Addison's hand flinched as her mind flooded with doubts of her simple action, but Meredith didn't seem to put any thought to it. She placed her hand over the older woman's and smiled at her. Addison let out a shaky breath, and couldn't help but smile back. Meredith had that effect on her.

Finally they pulled up to the hotel. Meredith stared up at the tall building, her eyes wide in shock. The cab driver unloaded their bags, and Addison paid him. Meredith and Addison grabbed their luggage and entered the lobby. Meredith let out a breath and was thankful for a relief from the heat. Addison led them over to the counter, and began checking them in. Meredith looked around; she was completely in awe of the kind of life Addison viewed as her "normal."

"Alright babe, I've got the room key. You ready?" Addison grinned at the girl, who was still seemingly awestruck.

"Mhm…let's go." Meredith and Addison made their way to the elevator, and the doors closed behind them. Addison hit the 25th floor, and turned to Meredith.

"I'm so glad you're here with me." Addison breathed, looking into Meredith's round blue eyes, and the blonde dropped her bags and clasped Addison's hands. She stared deep into Addison's eyes, with a gaze so intense, Addison felt as though they were piercing her soul.

"You're the only one I would want to be here with." Meredith spoke softly, almost shyly, and Addison's heart melted. Never before had someone had the power to cause her to feel weak in the knees, as if she would dissolve into the floor. Addison's eyes suddenly pricked, and to her shock, it felt like the beginning of tears. She looked away towards the front of the elevator. _What is happening to me? _

Meredith knew. She could feel it.

"Addison?" Meredith asked hesitantly; she was almost unsure of herself. She stepped closer to Addison, her face within a foot of the woman's. "Kiss me." The older woman turned to her, her eyes being the last to face Meredith. The force between them was incomparable. "Addison, please. Kiss me."

As soon as the words were out of the intern's mouth, Addison was pressing her lips to it. Meredith's arms encircled Addison's neck, and Addison drew herself closer to Meredith. She wrapped her arms securely around Meredith's back. Her mind was racing; she didn't want to make a wrong move, but she felt like there was no power in the world that could stop the intoxicating feelings surrounding them. Meredith parted her lips slightly, moving them against the attending's, and Addison responded instantly. Meredith's tongue slipped out slowly, hesitantly, and Addison was in no hurry. The blonde's tongue touched Addison's lips, probing gently, gliding over the soft lips that met it. Addison moaned into Meredith's mouth, and Meredith's tongue slipped in, caressing everything it touched.

The doors clanged open, but the two women didn't notice. The sound of a throat clearing shook them out of their moment, and the two came apart, looking sheepishly towards the family waiting for the elevator. An adolescent boy was staring at them, jaw slightly ajar, and his older sister elbowed him in the ribs, and he swallowed. Meredith and Addison picked up their bags and hurried out of the elevator. When the doors shut again, they looked at each other and laughed aloud. Addison led the way down the hallway, to number 613, and she opened the door to what Meredith thought was paradise.

The king-size bed was positioned directly in front of a close to a fifty inch flat panel TV, and there was a corner couch in front of a large window overlooking the city. Meredith dropped her and Addison's bags next to the bed, and went to explore the room.

"Oh my god, Addie! There's a walk-in closet the size of my bedroom in here!" The girl exclaimed, wandering through the suite. She paused in front of the master bathroom. "Oh…holy shit!" The bathroom had a walk in shower with mounted body jets and a separate tub. There were multiple sinks and vanities with a television built into the mirror. Meredith stood in shock, before slowly walking back to the main bedroom. "Addison?"

"In here Mer." Addison was already in on the couch, plugging in her laptop. Meredith came over to her and sat cross-legged in front of her.

"Addison, we have a BAR. We have a bar in our hotel room!" Meredith couldn't hold back her enthusiasm, and her excitement shone through on her face.

"Yes honey, we do." Addison said nonchalantly, and Meredith couldn't get over the fact that Addison was used to this. Addison shut her laptop, taking off her glasses, and she got up and stretched. "Okay, how about we unpack our bags and go check out the pool?"

"Sure, but I'm going to beat you there because WHO decided to pack three bags?" Meredith laughed and raced over to the side of the bed, and began unloading her clothes Addison had packed earlier this morning. "Aw fuck! I forgot my bathing suit."

"Nope, it's in there. I found it in one of your drawers and packed it along for you." Addison looked up briefly as Meredith pulled the black bikini out of the suitcase and tossed it in a drawer. Addison swallowed hard, her hormones still swirling from their passionate moment in the elevator, and began setting her shoes on the shoe stands in the closet.

Meredith had gone into the bathroom, putting on her black bikini slowly. Her mind drifted briefly at being so exposed and vulnerable. She shook it off and slid on a pair of short jean shorts, the bottoms frayed and pockets sticking out. _This is Addison. She loves you. _Meredith slipped on her white flip flops, and found Addison in the closet, hanging up her clothes. Her shoes filled the shoe stands, and Meredith rolled her eyes. Addison turned around, catching her mid roll, and shot her a glance that sent Meredith reeling with laughter.

"Addie, let me help you. I want to go to the pool at some point today." Meredith began unpacking Addison's last bag and hanging her things. Addison couldn't help but let her eyes wander to the blonde's figure. For being an intern and not having much time to do anything, much less keep herself in shape at a gym, Meredith had an amazing body. Her stomach was toned, but she still had woman's curves. Addison's blue eyes drifted up to the black bikini top, not missing the gold jewel hanging from between her breasts that were positioned naturally in the string top.

Addison tore her eyes away as Meredith pulled out her bathing suit, a bright green monokini with metallic gold swirls on it. The suit was exquisite, cutting sharply across in a criss cross pattern in the front.

"Here, I think this is yours." Meredith raised an eyebrow and tossed it to Addison, who caught it as she was lying her suitcase down in the corner of the closet. Meredith turned away, walking out of the closet, her stomach turning. She had felt something in there, almost like a bit of a spark, and she shook her thoughts away. Addison emerged a few moments later, and Meredith's stomach turned over again. The suit plunged low in the front, criss-crossing over the stomach, exposing a circle of Addison's flat, taught stomach, and came around low on the hips. The attending's long, toned legs seemed to be miles long. She slipped on a pair of sandals, and put her hands on her hips.

"Ready to go Mer?"

* * *

Addison grabbed a margarita from the pool-side bar, and walked back across the pool deck atop the 26th floor, and she made her way towards Meredith, who was floating on a mattress in the pool. She held a glass of lemonade in one hand and was reading this month's copy of Vogue in the other. Her sunglasses darkened her eyes from Addison, but as the attending made her way into the pool, she looked up and smiled at the woman, who sighed in relief as the water decreased the shock of the sweltering heat. Addison had thrown her red hair up into a messy bun atop her head, and her designer sunglasses were shading her eyes. She held her drink above the water as she moved closer to where Meredith was relaxing, and she grabbed onto the air mattress and floated by Meredith.

"It's nice here. I didn't know how much I missed the sun until we got here." Addison chuckled, and Meredith patted the air mattress next to her.

"Come up here! Here, let me hold your glass." Meredith held out her hand, and Addison handed her the glass, the salt on the rim sparkling in the bright sunshine, and she clambered awkwardly onto the air mattress, her legs flailing for a moment before catching her balance. Meredith grinned and handed Addison her drink back. Addison stretched her long legs out and leaned her head on the pillow of the mattress, feeling the sun beat on her body and the cool water lap at her legs in contrast. She sighed and closed her eyes beneath her sunglasses.

Meredith's eyes roamed curiously over Addison's body, musing to herself about how the attending kept herself in such great shape. She was Addison Montgomery however, and she had killer genetics. _I guess we both inherited certain things from our parents. _Meredith's mind flashed back to Ellis, and she smiled. She was so glad she had gotten to talk to her mother when she was lucid, and she had sworn she wouldn't take time for granted any longer. Meredith looked back to the beautiful woman lying next to her, and she felt such a strong feeling of love towards her. She drew her eyes back to the magazine and finished reading her article.

* * *

The pair spent the day lounging around the pool, switching between lying out on the chairs on the deck and taking out the mattress. They were lying on the chairs when Meredith's stomach growled, and Addison realized she hadn't eaten all day.

"Honey, do you want to go to dinner? I know this really great place-" Addison started.

Meredith felt a sudden urge to be closer to Addison, and she moved her chair closer and grasped the woman's hand.

"Can we just order in tonight? It's our first day here, and I'm kind of tired from the long day." Addison pushed her sunglasses up on her head, and studied the intern. Meredith's eyes were closed, and the girl looked tired.

"Of course. You're probably right, I'd rather order in. We can get a movie on Demand, sound good?" Addison stood next to her chair, picking up her magazine and room key. Meredith stood, and when she bent down to pick up her things, she swayed and Addison's arms shot out to steady her.

"Mer, honey, are you okay?" Addison's voice was full of concern, and she furrowed her brow as her hands steadied Meredith.

"Yeah, I'm just tired and have a little headache, that's all." Meredith smiled weakly at Addison, whose doctor side was taking over.

"Come on; let's go down to the room. We'll get some food and just relax, okay?" Addison reached for the girl, who held out her hand to the redhead. They made their way across the pool area and back to their room.

Meredith flopped onto the bed, her head throbbing even more than before, and the cool comforter was soft on her back. Her head sank back to the pillows, and Addison closed the door, and she quickly ran a washcloth under the water in the bathroom, and she sat down on the edge of the bed next to Meredith and placed the cloth on her head.

"You're okay baby, it's just a bit of dehydration combined with the heat. I'm going to run and get some ice and a glass of water, okay?" Addison spoke gently to Meredith, her voice soft and low. Meredith nodded slightly, and Addison disappeared out of the room. Meredith opened her eyes, and the room swam in front of her eyes. She shut them quickly and began to doze off.

The click of the door shutting jolted Meredith from her sleepy state, and a momentary panic seized her. She felt trapped, and the panic took hold. She began to shake, and she felt disassociated from her body.

Addison's voice called to her through the blur. "Meredith, shhh, baby, it's me. I'm here." Arms pulled her up and cradled her to Addison's body, her head cushioned on Addison's chest, and Meredith could hear Addison's heart pounding. It slowed to a steady rhythm, and Meredith felt herself calming down as she listened to the woman's heart beating underneath her ear. It was constant. Addison was a constant.

Meredith wrapped her arms around the woman who held her, burying her head in Addison's chest, and the jasmine scent that was distinctly Addison floated around her.

"You are extraordinary Meredith, and no one," Addison whispered tenderly, and put the emphasis on her last words, "can ever take that away from you."

Meredith's body began to shake again, and she bit her trembling lip, attempting futilely to stop the sounds escaping her throat, and the tears spilled out of her eyes as she started to sob. She felt so weak and so sick, but she couldn't keep herself from crying, and her hot tears splashed down onto Addison's bare chest, and Addison drew her closer still and rocked her gently. Meredith's body was wracked with sobs as her chest heaved, and she tried to draw in slow, hiccupy breaths. She finally stopped trying to hold back, and she cried past the state of exhaustion. Addison just held her.

"Derek raped me."


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N : Thanks for all of the lovely feedback that I've gotten! I do not own Grey's, and all rights are to Shondaland and ABC. Enjoy!**

**xx**

* * *

From the moment that Meredith had been collapsed on the floor of that on call room with Derek, Addison had known. She had seen it in her eyes. Meredith was dark and twisty, and although she had perfected her defenses of masking her personal pain, her eyes couldn't hide anything from Addison. Addison Montgomery had grown up a life of being lied to, even if in a nonchalant way, but she had grown accustomed to hearing the sugarcoated falsities her family and peers had tried to pass off as truth. So she started focusing on the eyes. Some people, when they lied, acquired a stoic, fixed gaze before telling her that everything would be okay. Others had the look of a whirlwind spiraling out of control, ready to pick up anything that got in its way. Others smiled, but their eyes were dead, just as lifeless as their spirits. Meredith was all of these things. But right now, this was the first time Addison had looked into Meredith's eyes and didn't see any of these things. She saw complete surrender and vulnerability.

"I know, darling. I know." Addison breathed as she closed her eyes, steadying her body that she felt begin to tremble in anger at the admittance of these words, even though she had prepared herself for this the moment she pulled that fragile girl into her arms on the on call room floor. She could not reflect anger even though her blood boiled at the honest statement. She would worry about making Derek's life hell later.

Meredith clung desperately to Addison, her hand clawing weakly at Addison's back, and she reached a hand up to cup Addison's cheek, and her thumb found a solitary tear slowly tracking down the redhead's face. Meredith looked up at Addison, her Addison, whose eyes were clear and compassionate, comforting blue orbs that seemed to pour every ounce of love she had into Meredith. The second Meredith's thumb touched the cool tear on Addison's face, Addison broke. Tears filled her once clear eyes, and they spilled over, silently. Addison gasped as a sob ripped through her, and she pulled Meredith tighter yet, kicking her flip flops off.

She laid Meredith down onto the bed, where she instantly curled into the fetal position, and Addison unfolded her legs and pulled a t-shirt and a pair of cotton underwear from Meredith's drawer. Addison moved quickly to her drawers and pulled out the same for herself. She brushed the back of her hand against her face, her hand glistening as the tears pooled on her smooth skin. Addison turned back to Meredith, and she sank down on the opposite side of the bed. Meredith was sobbing; her body was shaking violently.

Addison took a deep breath and pulled the blonde into a sitting position and rested Meredith's head on her shoulder. Her skilled surgeon's fingers quickly undid the knot holding Meredith's bikini top together, and she pulled it off over Meredith's head. Addison grabbed the soft cotton t-shirt and slipped Meredith's arms into the shirt, and she wiggled it down her body.

"Mer…honey, I've got to take your shorts off now. Baby, I'm going to take it slow. You know me; I'm never going to hurt you." Addison cradled Meredith's nodding head in her hands, and she settled it into the plush pillows on the bed. She sat up and moved her hands slowly to the button on Meredith's jean shorts. She slipped her fingers underneath the waistband just enough to get a grip on the fabric on each sides of the button, and Meredith flinched hard. Addison paused.

"It's me baby, it's me. I'll stop any time you want me to." Addison's eyes searched Meredith's face, and Meredith nodded. Addison put slight pressure on the material, and the button popped loose of the hole. She eased the shorts quickly off and tossed them to the floor. She quickly stripped herself, and yanked the t-shirt on over her head. Meredith's sobs had quieted, the only sounds coming from the intern were ragged gasps for air and sniffling noises, and Addison's heart ached. She swiftly reached over Meredith to switch off the bedside lamp, and then she eased the fluffy duvet cover over Meredith and her bodies. She opened her arms to the girl who seemed to gravitate to her, and she nestled in tight to Addison's chest, her sobs coming in short bursts. Addison's eyes welled up again. She tucked Meredith's head in under her chin, and she let the tears fall.

* * *

There were no tremors that night. There were no night terrors, no interruptions, and no awakenings. The two women lay wrapped up in each other, their legs entangled and their arms wrapped around each other. The sun woke them as it pierced through windows where the curtain had not been drawn the night before. The rays floated over Addison's back and towards the opposite side of the room. It hit Meredith's closed eyes, and she opened them into the bright light. The light bounced over Addison's skin and it weaved paths through her hair, catching the red tones and playing off them.

Meredith smiled. Addison looked like an angel. She was. She was her angel. She leaned forward, and gently touched her lips to Addison's. The woman stirred, and her eyes fluttered open, and her lips formed a smile against Meredith's. They broke apart, and Meredith rested her head on her pillow and looked at Addison, who stretched her arms over her head and yawned. Addison propped her chin on her hand and didn't pull her eyes from Meredith's. She couldn't.

"Meredith, I can't take my eyes off you," whispered Addison, bringing a hand to stroke the side of Meredith's face. Her hand brushed the tendrils that had come loose from Meredith's ponytail in sleep, and she leaned forward to kiss the place where her hand had just been.

"I'm not stable. I'm not all perky and sunshine and rainbows. I'm Meredith. I'm dark and twisty, and I've got issues. Just a couple days ago, I was...," Meredith faltered slightly at these words, "I was raped Addison. And not by a random stranger, but by someone who I loved. Someone who I thought loved me. But even before I woke up and saw you in that chair, I knew he wasn't my forever person. I don't have a forever person." Meredith's eyes brimmed with tears again. "Addison, you can take me away from Seattle and put me in the sun, and you can put me into whatever world you want, but I'm not going to be any different than I already am. This is me, and I'm not going to be some upbeat optimist, even if I do manage to overcome my issues. I manage, Addison, I manage to get by. There was one thing Derek was wrong about. He thought he had to breathe for me, but he was wrong. I know how to breathe on my own, but all I needed was for him to stay by me until I decided to keep breathing. But he couldn't do that and neither can you. More than that, I can't do that to you. I can't drag you down into this darkness with me. You deserve happiness, and you deserve rainbows. I can't give you that Addison; I can't give you what you deserve."

Meredith paused for a breath, and somehow brought herself to look at Addison. The redhead's eyes had glazed over, and she blinked, and moved to Meredith's face, and pressed her lips to the blonde's. She pulled away, and put her hand on Meredith's cheek.

Meredith's heavy lidded eyes opened slowly, her soft blue eyes brimming with tears that threatened to fall. "You shouldn't kiss me like this."

Addison's voice cracked. "Why not?"

"Because I just close my eyes, and I don't know where I'm at. Then I open my eyes, and I see you, I see you loving me, and you pull me back to life. You pulled me back to life Addie, and now I have to let you go live yours." Meredith's tears fell, and her voice broke. "And you kissing me makes it so much harder."

"Meredith Grey, you cannot get rid of me. And don't you dare tell me what I can and cannot do. Don't you think I know how you are? I don't want sunshine and rainbows. I want you. I don't care what world you're in Meredith, just as long as I'm in the same one. Whatever it takes, if I need to breathe for you or help you to breathe on your own, or if I have to take a fucking bullet for you, I would. So please, I am not going to let you tell me that I can't stay by your side, because darling, I am capable of extraordinary things. We are going to get through this, and whatever else life throws at us. I know that I can handle it because you're by my side, and I'm going to have you to come home to every night. You make me feel…you make me feel, Meredith. And I'm going to help you to feel again. I'm going to fight for you Meredith; I will fight every person, every emotion, and every fear that tries to get in the way. Even if I have to fight against your own stubborn will."

"I'm scared Addie. I'm scared of failing you, I'm scared of seeing…Derek again. I'm scared to face everyone in that hospital when they all know what happened. God, I can't imagine what they're saying."

"It doesn't matter what everyone is saying. Because you and I know what happened. And I am going to be by your side until you get so sick of me that you lock me in a supply closet. Meredith, I've been hurt too. I have been through some unbearable pain, but none of that compares to what Derek did to you. He shattered every shred of trust you had, and it was done by someone who was supposed to love you and take care of you. But Meredith Grey, I will spend every second of my life trying to show you how extraordinary you are, and how alive you make me feel. And I will wait for you until you are ready, but you are not going to run from me. I can't lose you again. When I saw you lying on that bed and Richard and Dr. Bailey were giving you CPR, trying to save your life, I froze. For the first time, I was scared to lose somebody. Somebody I didn't even realize I cared about." Addison's eyes welled up with the emotions that were wreaking havoc in her heart and she lowered her voice and took a breath. "Someone I didn't realize I loved. I love you, Meredith."

"I love you, Addison Montgomery." Meredith lips covered Addison's swiftly, the redhead's mouth opening instinctively and Meredith deepened the kiss. Her lips roamed Addison's hungrily, and she pressed herself harder against the woman. Meredith's hand reached around and rested on Addison's hip, and she slipped her tongue into Addison's mouth. Addison gasped and moaned deep in her throat, and Meredith's lips formed a smile against the older woman's. The passion behind the kiss sizzled and swept over Addison, and she poured every bit of love into the kiss. Meredith felt the change like a shock from a live wire, and she drew a sharp intake of breath as she responded by channeling that love back. The room began to spin, and Meredith felt Addison's hand on her cheek, and she leaned into Addison's chest, burying deeper and closer into the woman that she loved.

"I'm ready, Addie. I'm ready to be swim again."

* * *

"Come on Mer, we don't have all day!" Addison said exasperated, picking up her purse from the couch and hurrying Meredith, who was standing by her side of the closet, holding out a white summer dress and a pair of worn jean shorts that looked like someone had taken a Bedazzler to them.

"Alright, alright." Meredith grumbled and exited the closet a minute later, in the shorts and a navy blue belted tube top that flowed out over her hips. Her hair was down in her signature beachy waves, and she had decided on gold sandals to match the gold belt buckle that was around her ribcage. Addison had gone decked out in white for the day, wearing a pair of white shorts and a loosely buttoned white blouse. Her long, red hair was swept up into a high ponytail with her bangs framing her face.

"What, no heels today?" Meredith teased, and Addison glared at her.

"I'm not always in heels Grey. This girl can rock flats just as well as the next." Addison flashed Meredith a smile and took her by the hand. "Now, you really don't need to be nervous. They're going to love you. I promise."

"Can you blame me for being nervous? The last time you saw these people you were married to...you were married to…Derek," Meredith managed after a slight pause, and Addison's heart ached for the girl, "And now you're back, and you're introducing them to your _girlfriend_, who also happens to be the ex of your ex. God, this is so messed up Addie. And plus, look at you! You're like freaking Isabella Rossellini, and I'm…well, I'm me!" Meredith rambled on, and Addison turned from their open hotel room door and put a finger to the blonde's lips.

She looked Meredith in the eyes and put a hand to the side of the intern's face. "Darling, I don't care who the fuck loves you and who the fuck doesn't, because all that matters is that I do. And I plan to love you for a long time, and that doesn't involve anyone else. Plus, I don't fall head over heels for ugly people."

Meredith laughed and placed a quick kiss to Addison's cheek before following her out of the hotel room and into the elevator. "I think you are the only person who can say the word 'darling' and the word 'fuck' twice in one sentence and get away with it."

"It's what I do sweetheart." Addison shot a smile at Meredith as they waited patiently for the elevator. A giggling couple came past them in the hall, kissing passionately between giggles and feverishly grabbing at each other as the man fumbled for his key card, and they fell into their room.

Addison's eyes followed the couple and then looked back down towards the elevator, tapping her foot impatiently. What she wanted to do more than anything at that moment was to take Meredith into her arms and kiss her until her lips were swollen and bruised and fall back into their room, spending the day loving her, on the bed, on the floor, up against the wall, on the balcony, in the bathroom…Addison blinked and forced her thoughts away, avoiding Meredith's eyes and practically running into the elevator as the doors clanged open.

Meredith saw it flash across Addison's face. She wanted her, but Addison would never touch the issue. Meredith's face softened at how big her girlfriend's heart was, putting Meredith before any of her own needs without thinking twice. But she knew Addison, and she knew the woman didn't have a low libido. She followed Addison into the elevator and turned her to face her.

Meredith pushed Addison up against the side of the elevator, firmly but lovingly, and pressed her lips tenderly to Addison's, closing her eyes, getting lost and having no knowledge of time or space. Addison wrapped her arms around Meredith's neck, pulling the intern closer to her, moving her lips across Meredith's. Meredith moved her kisses down to Addison's cheek, skimming down to the tender underside of her jaw. Addison leaned her head back, a quiet moan sneaking out of her mouth, and she gasped as Meredith bit down lightly on her collarbone.

Meredith pulled back, watching her girlfriend's face, seeing the want and intensity in those blue eyes she had come to long for, and then watched Addison just as quickly mask it.

"Addie, I want you. I want you more than anything else in this world, but-" Meredith started, holding Addison's face between her hands, but the redhead cut her off.

"Meredith, honey, we don't need to talk about this. I'm fine, and I don't care if we…have sex or not," Addison faltered slightly around the sensitive subject. "I mean, don't get me wrong, sex is good…sex is amazing, actually," she laughed, her eyes twinkling with the sparkle of humor, "but Mer, I could wait a lifetime for you. I don't need anything, just as long as I get to come home to my beautiful girlfriend every couple nights."

"How do you do that?" Meredith asked, Addison folding her into her arms, and she snuggled into her chest.

Addison tucked her underneath her chin and rested her head on Meredith's, holding the smaller woman to her. "Mmm, do what?"

"You always seem to know what I'm feeling, and each time you reassure me beyond all doubts." Meredith mumbled against her chest, and Addison relished the vibration of the woman against her. The doors opened at ground level, and Meredith pulled back, turning to leave the elevator, and Addison grabbed her hand, pulling her around and gave her a chaste kiss.

"Okay, I'm ready now," Meredith breathed.

* * *

The two women climbed out of the taxi into the LA heat, walking up to the Beverly Hills Rent-a-Car, and a man came out of the building in a full suit, looking slightly uncomfortable in the heat, and he smiled and gave Addison a hug.

"Addison, it's so good to see you again. We've got your usual ready to go." The dark haired man smiled and dangled a very shiny key out in front of him. He eyed Meredith, running his eyes up and down her frame, making her noticeably uncomfortable, and Addison found her hand and pulled her to her.

"Thank you Ricardo, I've got a very special person with me this time, and you know me, I always have to have the best for the best." She teased him gently, smirking at the expression on his face, before walking towards the other side of the lot, keeping a tight grip on Meredith's hand, her white blouse opening up in the LA breeze, and Meredith couldn't help but laugh as she hurried to keep up.

"Oh my god, Addison, really?" Meredith squealed as Addison slowed in front of a red Sportec convertible, and the car beeped as Addison moved them towards it, and she opened the passenger door for Meredith.

"My lady, your carriage awaits you." Addison spoke with a proper flair, and Meredith grinned and slid into the front seat, relishing the cool leather of the interior. Addison quickly stepped down into the low vehicle, and she slid the key into the ignition and the engine whirred to life. Addison pulled her designer shades down over her eyes, and Meredith did the same with her sunglasses as Addison retracted the roof, the sun beaming down onto them. Addison pulled out of the parking lot, and paused at the stop sign, leaning across the console to kiss Meredith, whose lips smiled against hers.

"Oh Addison, I love how cute you are when you show off."


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Sorry it's been a little longer since my last update! Work has been taking up more of my time, but I finally managed to get this one out. I'm excited for where the story is going, and I hope you all enjoy it! Thank you to my beta, grapenut01, without her, it would be taking me a lot longer to get these out. Thank you for the awesome feedback that keeps me motivated as well, and just in general for reading and sticking with me. All rights to Shondaland and ABC, once again, although I wish I had rights to Ms. Walsh. Enjoy!**

**xx**

* * *

Addison pulled into a spacious parking spot in front of the restaurant Naomi had suggested. She killed the engine and reached across the car to Meredith, who was taking a slow, deep breath, and Addison rested her hand on her girlfriend's knee and gave it a reassuring squeeze.

"Mer, it's going to be fine. They're going to love you. Plus, Naomi already knows, so there is nothing to worry about, okay?" Addison flashed her brilliant smile before giving Meredith a firm kiss. Meredith's arm shot out, and she grasped the back of Addison's neck, deepening the kiss. Her mouth moved passionately against Addison's, and Addison let out a soft moan as their tongues found each other and danced perfectly in sync. Addison's left hand moved to Meredith's hip and rubbed gently, and she felt Meredith's body quiver as she arched her back towards Addison. Addison felt something stir in her stomach, and she jolted as a loud banging on her window made the pair jump apart like two teenagers caught together by their parents.

"Are you two going to make out all day or are you going to come see your friends Addison?" A beautiful raven-haired woman called out loudly from Addison's side of the car. "Come on lesbians, let's go!"

"Naomi, oh my god!" Addison swung the Sportec's door open and embraced the woman fiercely. Meredith picked up her purse and stepped out of the car and tentatively came around to stand behind Addison.

Naomi held Addison's arms and ran her eyes up and down Addison. "Well when did you get fat?"

"A couple months after you did," Addison shot back, and the two women dissolved into a fit of laughter. "Some things never change."

Naomi turned to Meredith and extended her hand, smiling warmly. "Please excuse my bitchiness; Addison brings that out in me. I'm Naomi, as I'm sure you've heard."

"Meredith, it's nice to meet you. Addison has told me a lot about you." Meredith clasped the woman's hand, returning Naomi's smile. Addison had filled her in on the drive over, and Meredith had liked the woman before she had even met her.

"All terrible, I'm sure." Naomi shot a dirty look towards Addison who had wrapped an arm around Meredith, her hand rubbing gently on her back.

"Where's Sam?" Addison asked, throwing her friend a questioning look.

"He's inside already; he thought he'd give us ladies some meet and greet time, so he went to get us a table." Naomi rolled her eyes, and the trio strolled across the parking lot and entered the modern looking restaurant. A handsome man in slacks and a button-down shirt stood by the sushi bar, and he flashed a brilliant white smile as he recognized Addison.

"Addie!"

"Sam!" Addison embraced the man and gave him a kiss on the cheek. "I couldn't say much for Naomi, but look at you! She scored when she decided to marry you." She teased gently, and Meredith caught a quick glance that was shared between Sam and Naomi. Addison, however, was obliviously smiling at her friends, and Meredith couldn't remember her being so happy.

"Addison, so who is this gorgeous woman whose name I don't know yet because…?" Sam smiled at Meredith.

"Meredith," she said and reached her hand out, and he came forward and embraced her briefly, and Addison took a breath. Meredith leaned in and kissed his cheek as Addison had, and Addison exhaled silently.

The waitress came up to them and ushered the group to a dark mahogany table, and Addison pulled one of the chairs out for Meredith who touched Addison's hand before taking her seat. Everyone else took their seats and picked up the menu. Meredith's hand found Addison's underneath the table, and the redhead squeezed it.

Addison looked up from her menu to Naomi and Sam, her eyes sparkling. "So, what's new with you guys?"

* * *

"Wow. Just…wow." Addison managed to get out, her eyes on the road. Meredith held her right hand with both of her own and ran her thumb gently over the top of Addison's hand. "You know, I'm really surprised…I just thought those two would be together forever."

"Well, they still seem fine with each other, and they seem like such great people, and they are obviously good friends for still going to see you together." Meredith leaned her head down onto Addison's shoulder as the wind coming into the sporty convertible rustled her hair.

"Yeah, they're great. Oh well, like I told them, I just wish them the best and hope that they are happy. Alright, so I was thinking that we could go do some shopping. LA has some of the best shopping in the states. And then maybe we could go to the beach. What do you think?" Addison asked Meredith, who had put her bare feet up on the dash of the car. Addison laughed at the sight of the girl; her blonde hair was blowing wildly around her face, and she looked just like a child enjoying a car ride.

"The beach sounds perfect. The shopping…eh not so much. But I'd go anywhere with you." Meredith turned her grinning face towards Addison, and even though the redhead couldn't see her eyes because they were hidden behind Meredith's sunglasses, she knew those beautiful blue-grey eyes were sparkling.

"Well, good. Because you have no choice. I have the keys." Addison laughed again as Meredith stuck her tongue out at her, and she looked back to the road and let the sun wash over her face, and she headed towards west LA.

* * *

Now it was Meredith's turn. "Wow."

"I know. It does the same thing to me, every time." Addison sighed happily as she looked at the towering shopping mall. Rodeo Drive was her favorite place to shop in LA, besides the boardwalks. It had everything; Tiffany's, Cartier, Giorgio Armani, Chanel, MaxMara, Louis Vuitton, Gucci, and other big name boutiques. It was a fortress of buried treasure to Addison, and she was determined to uncover every inch of treasure she could find.

Meredith saw the excitement in Addison's face, and she couldn't help but smile along with her. Addison's happiness was always so infectious, especially her smile that just brightened up a room. Addison closed the top on the car and pulled the keys out of the ignition. She grabbed her bag and looked at Meredith, whose jaw was still on the floor, and Addison giggled before giving her a quick kiss on the lips. Meredith let out a surprised squeak, and picked up her own purse and clambered out of the car, not tearing her eyes from the scene in front of her. Addison met her around the front of the car, and took her girlfriend's hand, and the two of them set off to unbury their treasure.

Two stores later, Addison had one arm laden with bags, and she kept a tight hold on Meredith's hand, as if she were afraid to lose her amongst the other shoppers. Meredith couldn't stop looking at all the shops and the people, and she smiled as Addison tightened her hold on her hand. She felt safe and protected, a feeling she didn't want to lose. Meredith loved the way Addison cared for her, in such simple ways like holding her hand in the crowd. She needed her; she needed to feel her, right now.

Meredith spun to face Addison in the middle of the busy sidewalk and guided Addison's back into a near light pole, and she pressed her lips to Addison's. Meredith felt Addison's surprise through the way her body tensed and resisted for a split second, before relaxing and closing her eyes, and Meredith felt her lips respond to hers. Addison's arms went limp and the shopping bags slid down to her wrist, but she didn't feel any of that. Addison felt as if she were sucked into a spiral, and dimly felt Meredith's body against hers, her teeth grazing over her bottom lip, and a small whimper escaped the redhead's throat. Meredith pulled away at the noise, and caught the glance of some onlookers in the crowd, and Addison's eyes fluttered open. She let out a passionate sigh before taking Meredith's hand once more.

"You are going to be the death of me, Meredith Grey." Addison was still attempting to catch her breath, and she could tell the blonde was still caught up in their moment as she stumbled against the curb. Addison reached out quickly to her, and Meredith grabbed onto Addison's outstretched arm, and the two burst into a fit of laughter.

"Come on you, I have a surprise for you." Addison pulled Meredith into a nearby shop, and the cool air from the air-conditioned shop enveloped Meredith, relieving her from the blistering heat of LA. The store was set up like a 50's ice cream parlor, with black and white checkered floors and red barstools around the circular tables, and this time it was Meredith's turn to sigh.

"Addie, you read my mind." Meredith shot her a smile and the two went up to order some frozen relief.

Two hours later and three stores down, Addison was dragging. Both women had their arms full of bags, and Addison stumbled towards a bench and plopped down, dropping the bags to the ground in front of her. It was starting to cool off slightly, and the breeze had picked up. Meredith chuckled at the sight of the tired woman, and took a seat next to her on the bench. She leaned back against the back of the bench and closed her eyes. She did not move or speak, and Addison scooted closer, snuggling her head onto Meredith's shoulder and tucked herself underneath the blonde's chin.

Meredith's head dropped down onto the top of Addison's, and Addison mumbled something about not being cut out for this anymore. Meredith grinned and brought her finger underneath Addison's chin, and tilted her face up to her own. "I thought this was what the great Addison Forbes-Montgomery was all about."

Addison groaned and dropped her head back down onto Meredith's chest, and Meredith wrapped her arms around her, stroking her back as the two watched the crowds thin out into the parking lot.

They sat in silence, taking comfort in each other's presence, before Meredith finally spoke. "I'm freaking starving. And you look like a tired old whore."

Addison's head shot up, her mouth open in defensive shock, before she laughed and picked up her bags. "Yeah, well I'm your tired old whore. Come on baby, let's haul these out to the car, and then we can go worry about dinner."

Meredith stood and picked up her set of bags, and they slowly made their way back to the car. Addison pressed the alert button on the key and the red Sportec beeped and the lights flashed about two rows away. They finally reached the car and Meredith leaned up against it while Addison went to the trunk and popped it open and loaded her bags. She came around next to Meredith who was collapsed against the side of the car in exhaustion.

"Seriously Addie, you're going to need to buy another suitcase to haul all this shit back on the plane." Meredith said with closed eyes, and then her eyes shot open as she felt soft lips brush her own. Addison was straddling her legs and had one hand resting on the car windows on each side of Meredith's head, and Addison drew out the kiss, drowning in Meredith's soft caresses. The blonde moved her arms to wrap around Addison's waist and pull her closer. She could never seem to get close enough to Addison. Her scent intoxicated her, the sweet smell of jasmine and vanilla floated in the breeze around them, and Addison released Meredith's tender lips and wrapped her arms around the young woman's neck, folding her into a hug. She buried her face in the blonde's neck, Meredith's dirty blonde hair fell around her face, and she breathed in the faint lavender smell.

"You smell good baby." Addison sighed into Meredith's neck, and Meredith tucked her head into the crook of Addison's neck, running her lips along Addison's smooth skin. "Mmm," Addison moaned, and the sound of laughing shoppers heading out to their cars jerked her out of the spell Meredith seemed to have cast on her, and she was suddenly very aware of the public setting they were in. "Mer…honey?" Meredith's lips were moving down Addison's neck, her teeth grazed Addison's collarbone and the attending gasped and had to put her hands on Meredith's shoulder to break free of her trancelike state. "We really need to get a room." Addison laughed as Meredith playfully swatted at her behind as she turned to walk around the car.

Meredith caught her wrist and pulled Addison back to her. "We have a room, darling."

"Mmm, don't tempt me." Addison's brain exploded at the term of endearment that Meredith had used, and she could barely keep herself standing on her own two feet.

"Yeah, you're probably right." Meredith shot her an impish grin over her shoulder before getting into the front seat of the Sportec, and Addison leaned back on the car briefly, taking a breath. _Oh god…what that woman does to me. _Addison smiled and moved around to the driver's side of the car and slid in. All she wanted at that moment was to go back to the hotel and lie in bed with her girlfriend and spend the night memorizing every curve, every dip, and every line of her body. Addison started the car and turned her head to look at Meredith, but the blonde had her head resting at an angle on the seat, her eyes closed and her breathing shallow and even, fast asleep. Addison just stared at her with a softened gaze for several minutes. She loved everything about Meredith. She loved the cute way her mouth parted in sleep, the whiny sounds she made when she was just waking up and reaching for Addison, the mischievous look that would soon be joined with a smirk when she was up to something, and the way she looked away when she was trying to keep people from seeing the tears that were threatening to spill from her eyes. Addison loved her. She loved her with everything she had.

The redhead put the car into reverse and slowly backed out of the parking space, easing out of the lot, taking care not to jostle her sleeping girlfriend.

Finally, after what seemed like forever, Addison pulled into the parking garage of their luxurious hotel. The sun was just setting, and the final rays were glinting off the soft waves of Meredith's hair. The young intern's head had drooped down onto the door of the car, and she motioned to the bellboy to come over to the car. She stepped out, shutting the door part of the way, keeping a watchful eye on Meredith. The woman stirred, moving her head against the door, but didn't wake.

"Please take these bags up to my room." Addison requested quietly, never tearing her eyes from Meredith. She had an overwhelming desire to hold her sleeping girlfriend in her arms, to cradle her head to her chest and slowly rock her to sleep. In her line of work, caring for another human being was something she had always been good at; she was gifted with having a set of natural protective instincts, but she had never known this to be something so strong and so important to her. The bellboy had loaded her shopping bags on a cart and was taking them across the garage to the elevator, and Addison slipped back into the car. She hated waking her, but she needed to get her up to their room.

"Meredith. Mer, baby, wake up sweetheart." Addison cooed gently to her girlfriend, and Meredith dimly heard Addison's voice calling to her. She loved Addison's voice, it was always so strong and dominant, but she had this way of lowering her voice when she spoke to Meredith. It was a sound so raw and husky and almost vulnerable. Meredith woke with a tiny smile playing at the corner of her lips, her eyes opening a fraction of the way, and like Addison had predicted, she awoke with a soft whine.

"Addie." Meredith shifted her weight toward the older woman, her arms reaching for Addison, and it melted the attending's heart. Addison cupped Meredith's face with both hands, preventing the girl from collapsing into her chest.

"Mer, we're in the car in a parking garage. We have to go up to the hotel so we can get you into bed." Addison kept speaking in that low, tender voice and smiled at the face Meredith pulled, and she wished so much that she could just scoop the girl up into her arms and carry her up to the room.

"Alright, alright, but you're going to have to help me." Meredith struggled with the door, and Addison was right around, guiding her out of the car.

"Thanks babe." Meredith smiled tiredly at Addison, and she rested her head on Addison's shoulder. The redhead put her arm around Meredith's back, holding lightly to her hip and the two made their way into the elevator. As soon as they got situated in the elevator, Meredith turned into Addison and wrapped her arms around Addison, inhaling the scent of her skin that only belonged to Addison. She smiled into Addison's neck, and Addison felt the woman's lips turn upwards on her skin. Addison brushed her lips across the top of Meredith's head. The blonde's wavy hair brushed her nose and lips, and Addison thought she could stay this way forever.

The elevator dinged and Meredith pulled herself out of Addison's embrace, leading Addison to their room. Addison raised an eyebrow at Meredith's sudden awake state, but didn't question her as they stood outside their door, and Addison fumbled with the room key. She finally located it and opened the locked door, and Meredith pulled her inside, and as soon as the door shut, she had Addison's back up against it. The look in Addison's eye was of surprise, but when she looked at Meredith, she met the intensity of a million suns. It wasn't lust, and it wasn't even desire, but a hunger. That desperate need for touch and contact shot through Meredith and she closed the distance between them, crashing her lips upon Addison's, taking her breath away, and Meredith's eyes closed as she felt the electricity flow through Addison's body in response. Addison's right hand trailed up Meredith's arm and across her collarbone before entwining itself in the intern's hair that framed her face. She let the hair slip through her fingers and pressed her hand passionately against Meredith's face, and her other arm wrapped around Meredith's neck.

Meredith felt alive. Sparks were flying through each caress, each movement, each touch, and she held onto Addison's hips firmly as Addison's mouth sought access to hers, and she relented, and Addison felt a wave of passion overwhelm her as she slipped her tongue into Meredith's mouth, exploring fervently, and she started to move Meredith backwards. Meredith seemed to know where she was going, because she opened her mouth, giving Addison more access, and their tongues found each other. Meredith spun them around so quickly that Addison tripped over the shopping bags that littered their hotel room floor from that day's work, and she felt the bump of the bed hit the back of her knees, and she collapsed, Meredith easing down on top of her. They each had a leg on each side of the other's, and Addison raised her knee, bringing pressure up into Meredith, and the woman froze. Addison felt the woman tense, and her eyes searched Meredith's face. The blonde had her eyes shut tight, and Addison sat halfway up, and brought her hands to Meredith's face.

"Baby, look at me. Meredith, honey, look at me." Addison called out gently, knowing the emotions that were running rampant in her girlfriend's head. "Mer, it's Addie. Darling, look at me. Open your eyes."

Meredith's eyes opened slightly, and then all the way. They widened as they finally registered Addison's face in front of her. "Addie," she croaked out, "Oh god Addie." She sank into the woman, who had transformed completely in those few seconds. Addison brought a hand to the small of Meredith's back and rubbed softly in circles, whispering loving words into her ear.

"It's okay Mer, it's okay. We will get through this. And remember, I told you, I plan to wait as long as I have to. Sex…" Addison hesitated briefly, but kept going, "Sex isn't everything. But someday, we will get there, and I love you. And that's all that matters."

Meredith pressed a kiss to Addison's lips, and eased herself back into the plush pillows, and Addison joined her, propping herself on her side, with one leg draped over Meredith. Meredith turned her body into Addison and leaned forward until their foreheads were touching. She slowly pressed a kiss to one of Addison's cheeks, then the other. Then she brushed her lips against the corner of Addison's, and she moved over and did the same to the other side, getting daringly close to where Addison's lips were parted. Meredith gazed into the beautiful redhead's face, smiling gently, knowing where Addison desperately wanted her lips, and she finally gave in, drowning themselves in bliss once again.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Thanks to all my readers and the wonderful reviews I've gotten! All rights to Shondaland and ABC. **

**xx**

* * *

_Addison's lips trailed along her collarbone, light feather-like caresses tickling and loving their way around. They were making a path, exploring every curve and every dip of every bone. Addison's head was resting on her shoulder, and then there was another sensation. Little hair-like flutterings on her neck caused Meredith's eyes to go heavy-lidded, and the kisses didn't stop. She inhaled deeply, sighing as her body swayed up towards the stimulations, and she felt as if she were in heaven. The woman's body next to her shifted into her, covering her left side, and she felt surrounded by a protective shield of love. There had never been anything like this before. She had never known lovemaking to be so innocent, yet so passionate in her entire life. She was in an intoxicated state of bliss that no amount of sex had ever taken her to. _

"Meredith. Meredith, sweetheart? Meredith?"

Meredith opened her eyes a fraction and saw a concerned Addison hovering over her, with worried eyes and loving hands stroking the side of her face. She managed to get out a smile, but inside her head was spinning.

"Meredith, breathe." Addison commanded gently in her ear. Meredith took in a shuddering breath, and Addison listened for the exhale. She watched the intern's chest fall, and she chuckled throatily in her ear. "Honey, you scared me."

"Mmmm, I'm alright," Meredith said with a devilish grin, "But you scare me too. The things you do to me Addison Montgomery." She rolled on top of Addison, her breath catching in her throat when she realized the woman was topless underneath her, only the thin fabric covering her chest separating her skin from Meredith. The material of Meredith's purple shirt had hitched up under her breasts, and she inhaled sharply as she felt the softness of Addison's skin on hers.

Addison was careful not to press against Meredith, although all she wanted to do was to arch her body into the blonde in a desperate attempt to ease the throbbing she was feeling in her core. She felt a familiar warmth between her thighs, and her mind burned at the wetness she knew was there.

"Addie?" The sweet voice pierced through the haze that overwhelmed her brain, and she felt Meredith's lips moving against the spot under her ear. Addison shivered with pleasure, and all her senses stood alert.

"Mmmm what baby?" Addison croaked out, her voice cracking roughly with desire, and Meredith pulled away, allowing some cool air to wash over Addison, and Addison's eyes focused when she saw the look Meredith was giving her. It was her look, the intense gaze that ripped Addison down to shreds for her.

"I want to love you. I want to feel you. I want to know every inch of you Addison. I'm going to take my shirt off now. And I want you to look at me." Meredith spoke tenderly, but confidently, and she unsnapped the belt around her ribcage, and eased her shirt off of her head. The plain black strapless bra landed on the bed on top of the shirt, and Addison just gazed at her. Meredith's hair cascaded down her shoulders, soft waves mingling with the creamy color of her skin, and Addison had never seen anything so perfect. Her breasts swelled modestly, and Addison's eyes drifted down to the soft pink hues that rested in the center of each breast, and the light pink colored nipples that stood out in slight peaks. She tore her eyes from her girlfriend's chest and her gaze wandered down the rest of her torso, gliding over the gentle curve of her hips and across her toned stomach. Addison's eyes went to Meredith's face, and caught the beginning of tears brimming in her eyes. Meredith blinked, and they were gone.

"Just let me hold you Addie. Just let me hold you." Meredith eased her shorts off and tossed them aside, crawling under the covers next to Addison. She reached between them, hooking her fingers under Addison's white shorts and slipping them off. Meredith threw them over the side of the bed and eased her leg between Addison's, and gently pulled Addison to her. Addison let herself be held, running an arm over top of Meredith's stomach, and leaning her head hesitantly on Meredith's shoulder. She was in an awkward position with her head crooked to the side, when Meredith seemed to read her mind.

"Addison, I'm okay. I'm not damaged, and I'm not broken. I just want to hold my girlfriend. I promise, I'm fine." Meredith stroked Addison's hair, her fingers finding their way to the ponytail band and releasing the red hair from its restraint. Addison's long hair slid down between them, and Meredith ran her fingers through it. Her fingers moved to her scalp and alternated between rubbing in circles and scraping lightly at the sensitive skin there. "You're exhausted Addie, I know you haven't been sleeping well lately. Let me hold you to sleep."

Addison let out a contented sigh and adjusted so her head was resting atop Meredith's breast. She could hear the dull thudding of Meredith's heartbeat reverberating underneath her ear, and Meredith felt her girlfriend's head go heavy with sleep. She continued stroking Addison's tousled hair until sleep claimed her as well.

* * *

A dull buzzing noise woke Meredith from her sleep. She recognized the familiar vibrations of her cell phone, and she carefully disentangled herself from a still sleeping Addison. That was the first time she thought of her phone since leaving Seattle, and she reached into the pocket of her discarded shorts, and hurried into the study part of the suite. She glanced at the time on the clock on the wall. _2:33 AM. _She flipped the phone open after seeing Cristina's name, and she braced herself for the worst.

"Hello?"

"Meredith Grey! What the hell is wrong with you? Ok, I know you have the tendency to shut down to everyone around you when something bad happens, but this is ridiculous. I don't even know where the fuck you are! And as your person, I need to know these things. And also, as your person, I deserve to know if my best friend is shacking up with McSatan!"

"Are you done?" Meredith asked shortly, more sharply than she intended.

"Uh…maybe. Look Mer, I'm sorry. Things have been crazy at the hospital, like you have no idea. First of all, Derek is on probation. There are all kinds of crazy things going around, saying he raped you and that Satan made you quit. Izzie and Alex and I of course took care of THAT rumor, God knows you wouldn't do a stupid ass thing like quitting." Cristina rambled, and the silence on the other end of the line shocked her. "Oh my god, Meredith, is it true?"

"No, I'm not quitting." Meredith took a deep breath, and it didn't go unnoticed by her friend.

"Oh my god! I'm going to kill him. I am going to kill him. But now I need another person to help me drag his dead ass across the floor because there is no way in hell he is getting near you again, dead or alive." Cristina spat viciously, a million different ways to painfully kill somebody running through her mind.

"Yeah, Addison is going to make sure of that too." Meredith started, not sure of how this was going to go over.

"So what is up with you two anyway? Is this like a Shane thing or a Bette and Tina thing?" Cristina cracked, as she ducked around the corner, avoiding Bailey who was walking around with labs in hand.

"I love her Cristina. She was the one who was by my bed when I woke up after the accident, and things just spiraled. Derek wasn't there for me, he never really was. I just didn't see it because I was in it, you know?" Meredith realized that was the first time she had said his name since he attacked her, and she didn't even notice until afterwards. "She took me out when I cleared my last CT, and we sat and talked at Joe's, and somehow the whole thing just spilled out. I realized how superficial Derek's love for me was, and that he was only there when it was convenient for him. I just needed someone to talk to, and she was there. We went back to her place, and oh my god is that another story, but she told me that she loved me, and even though she had tried to will it away, that she couldn't."

Meredith had her head craned towards the main room where Addison slept, hoping she didn't wake her. She lowered her voice.

"Anyway, the next day she took me out, and I saw another side of her…Cristina, she isn't really Satan. She rides horses, she listens to Italian music when she gets home from work, and she has this smile that no one sees…but when I see it, I see her."

"Oh God, you're going to be all pukey and all in love again. Well, my, my, my, Satan has a soul. I guess this kind of disqualifies her from being able to be Satan. I just didn't think you two would be in lesbians together." Cristina groaned, and Meredith laughed softly; just talking to her best friend made her feel normal again, like things were going to be okay.

"I didn't think so either, and most definitely not with Addison, but now that I think about it, somehow I feel like I always was drawn to her. She has been so good to me Cristina, she didn't want to have sex until after I broke things off with Derek, and then after it happened…after he raped me, she has been even better about holding things off. But I need to have sex. This is driving me crazy inside. We kiss, and I feel nauseous, so I kiss her harder, and it gets hot. But before we get too far, I choke. I'm afraid to have sex with her." Meredith admitted, finally being able to get her true feelings out in the air.

"Jesus, this is sick. But I'm sure she understands, with what that bastard put you through." Cristina growled out the last part through gritted teeth, ducking down beneath a window as Bailey strode past again.

"But that's just it. It's not the actual sex I'm afraid of. Look, you and I both know that we're whores. And we're okay with it. Sex is just on our brains. But every time I have sex with someone, it gets complicated, and it ruins things. I had sex with Derek, and I turned into a dirty mistress. I had sex with Steve, and I broke his penis. I had sex with George, and now he can't even look at me the same way anymore. I'm in love with Addison, but I guess deep down I'm really scared because I don't want to fuck it up." Meredith rested her forehead on the office desk, propping the phone up against her ear.

"But Mer, yeah you had sex with Derek, and so much has happened, but if you hadn't, you wouldn't have Sata-Dr. Montgomery," Cristina quickly corrected, and her words brought on new feelings from Meredith.

Meredith lifted her head and pulled her legs onto the chair in front of her, and she thought carefully before she spoke. "I guess you're right. I didn't really think about it that way."

"And I'm sure when you guys have your super intense lesbian sex, she'll go gentle on you." Cristina quipped sarcastically, never ceasing to let a dry remark slip out of her reach.

Meredith chuckled before her face went serious. "I'm not broken Cristina. I'm going to have sex with Addison, and I'm also going to come back to the hospital, whether or not Derek is there. He sure as hell isn't going to be the person to take that my happiness away from me. Addison makes me happy. And I need her to see that."

"Good, great, I'm happy for you. Meanwhile, I'm in an empty room dodging Bailey who's running around handing out labs like condoms at Planned Parenthood. Oh god and you'll never guess who's here-"

"Yang, what are you doing on your phone? There are charts and labs that need to be done!"

Meredith heard Bailey's voice ring out sharply on Cristina's end of the line, and she stifled a laugh.

"It's Meredith…I'm sorry Dr. Bailey, I was just checking in on her." Cristina mumbled apologetically, and Meredith envisioned her facial expression being of that like a dog that had just been scolded.

"Well that's just fine and dandy, meanwhile we have people dying here! There are sick people in this hospital, remember? Give me that." Bailey's voice was right in Meredith's ear, and she jumped. "Grey, I suppose you've distracted Yang enough for the night?"

"Yes, Dr. Bailey, I'm sorry." Meredith felt herself take on the wounded tone; it was an automatic response after working for the Nazi for so long.

"Okay, well, good. Are you uh, are you doing alright?" Bailey's voice was inquisitive now, almost softer, if it was possible.

"Yes, Dr. Bailey, I'm doing great." Meredith answered, and for the first time in her life, she meant that.

* * *

Addison felt the covers being shifted on her and a draft of cool air hit her, and she sleepily opened her eyes. Meredith was crawling under the covers, shivering violently, and Addison immediately opened her arms, and the intern settled in, her body warming against Addison's.

"Everything okay babe?" Addison asked groggily, her mind still foggy with sleep, and Meredith snuggled into her chest.

"Mhmm…everything is great. Cristina called, and we talked. Everything is fine. Let's go back to sleep, okay?" Meredith placed a kiss to Addison's cheek, and fell back to sleep with her head leaning on Addison's.

* * *

Hours later, the intern woke up, and rolled over only to find Addison's side of the bed empty. She opened her eyes, and a note was propped on Addison's pillow. Meredith smiled, and recognized Addison's scrawling cursive instantly.

_My Meredith,_

_You look like an angel when you sleep, you know. I couldn't bring myself to wake you, but my stomach was growling so I went down for some lunch at a diner down the street, and then Naomi and I are going to do some catching up. I figured you could use a little "you time." By the way, I have reservations for us at Il Cielo's tonight, I hope you like Italian. I have a driver coming for you at 8 o'clock tonight; they'll know where to go. I will see you then, sweetheart._

_Love forever,_

_Addison._

Meredith could not stop grinning as she reread Addison's note. She glanced over to the bedside table where the alarm clock was reading 2:45pm. She had plenty of time to kill, so she slipped into her black bikini and a bright green wrap, and went to go find her way to the beach.

The heat blasted down on her face, and she pulled her shades down to shield her eyes, and she navigated her way through the crosswalks in front of the heavy traffic. LA sure was busy, and she followed the slight crowd that had gathered and headed west towards the ocean.

* * *

Meredith had layered on the sunscreen, but she was pretty sure it was doing next to nothing in this intense heat. Never before had she experienced weather like this, and it was only May! In Washington, it would still be raining. She stretched on her towel, her taut stomach drawing the attention of some adolescent boys, and she smiled to herself before closing her eyes again. _I've still got it, _she thought, taking pride in her genetically slim figure. She felt herself dozing into a warmth-filled sleep, until sand was showering down on her lower body.

"What the-" she called out, sitting straight up and brushing herself off.

"I'm so sorry, he does that a lot." A little girl was standing by her, clipping a leash to her dog, which was still shaking the last bits of sand from his fur.

"No, it's okay." Meredith smiled genuinely at the girl, hoping to ease her obvious nerves, and she was glad she hadn't uttered the word that had been on her lips. "I'm Meredith, what's your name?"

"Sydney, and this is my dog Trigger." The girl seemed to relax a little bit. "He's not very good at listening."

Meredith smiled and petted the dog, which had come over and pushed his nose under Meredith's hand. "That's alright; I like dogs. I had a dog…his name was Doc. We had to put him down though." She remembered the crazy canine who would always have a special part in her heart.

"I don't know what I'd ever do if something happened to Trigger. He's my best friend," the girl said, looking somber.

"Take good care of him, and don't let him run off again!" Meredith laughed as the girl nodded and started towards the water.

Sydney turned and looked over her shoulder and flashed Meredith a big, toothless grin. "Bye Meredith!"

"Bye Sydney!" Meredith smiled, shaking her head. She loved kids, but she had accepted long ago when she decided to become a surgeon that that wasn't going to be an option for her. Meredith didn't want to have her kids grow up like she did, basically raising themselves and not having a mother. She shuddered when she thought about all that Ellis Grey had put her through, and her phone beeped next to her. She opened it, seeing a text from Addison.

_I can't wait to see you tonight._

Meredith looked at the top of her phone and swore. It was 6:36pm, and she gathered up her towel and wrapped her sarong around her waist, and headed back up the beach. Meredith crossed the street hurriedly and made her way back to the hotel. She finally reached the towering building and sped towards the elevator. The doors were shutting as she stuck her hand between the closing doors, and slipped inside. An attractive dark haired man clad in typical California wear, ripped jeans, a tight t-shirt, and flip flops was smiling at her from her right side. She met his eyes and smiled back, her mind instantly going to Addison. Meredith reached inside her beach bag and pulled out her cell phone, scanning for any new messages, wishing there was something to distract her from the intense gaze the cute guy was giving her. She scrolled absentmindedly through her messages, re-reading some of Addison's texts, willing the elevator to go faster.

"Whoever he is, he's lucky." The man spoke in a casual voice, and Meredith smirked as the doors opened at his floor, and he moved to get off.

"It's a she, actually," she said with a smile, and the doors shut between them, his eyebrows raised humorously, and she laughed to herself as the elevator moved upwards. Even though it wasn't Seattle, that did not stop the infamous elevator rides. She giggled again, as she exited the chamber at her floor, and moved quickly to unlock the room door. Meredith flung her bag on the bed, and swore again as she saw that it was past 7 o'clock.

"Shit!" she exclaimed in frustration, realizing that Addison hadn't packed her curling iron. She moved to the bathroom, hoping her girlfriend had much more thought put into her own packing, and saw Addison's curling iron on the counter. She plugged it in, and streaked across the room to the closet, and began thumbing through her wardrobe. She found the item she was looking for and hurried off into the bathroom with it, wishing she could mentally slow down time.

Meredith slipped the last uncurled piece of her blonde hair into the clamp of the curling iron, working it down to the ends before spiraling it back up towards the top of her head. The steam drifted up as the heat did its magic, before she released it. She spritzed some finishing spray she had found amidst Addison's array of products in the bathroom and teased the curl into a loose wave. She sprayed the product over her full head of hair, plumping and shaking the curls into bouncy waves. Meredith leaned over the counter to add her second coat of mascara on her eyelashes, mixing in with the metallic brown shadow and liner she had applied earlier. Meredith looked at the time on her cell phone, and grabbed her purse in her dash out the door.

She entered the elevator, and it felt like it was taking forever. Meredith tapped her heeled foot on the floor and flew out of the doors as soon as the elevator arrived at the ground floor. She strode out of the front of the hotel, immediately spotting an idling stretch white limousine with an older man leaning on side of it. He made eye contact with her and smiled, and Meredith shook her head and smiled as she got in the door he opened for her, and slid into the spacious backseat. _Addison never misses the chance to go all out. _She grinned and settled back into the plush seat, and began absentmindedly rubbing her stomach, as she felt like she had little butterflies fluttering around inside. The car pulled up to the curb only a couple minutes later, and Meredith's jaw dropped again as she stared out the window, her body frozen in place.


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: I am so excited for this chapter! Please read and review...I would love to hear your feedback! All rights to Shondaland and ABC, even though I'm sure all of us wish we could own the lovely people in it :) Enjoy!**

**xx**

* * *

Meredith sat in stunned awe as the driver came around to open her door. Strands of tiny lights wove their paths through green ivy that was twisting around the stone walls of the restaurant, and the glow from numerous candles lit up the windows from the inside. She could see couples enjoying their dinner through the window, and the cobblestone pathway was bordered by short, ivy covered stone walls that were laced with more lights. She could hear the faint sound of classical music being played inside, and she eased out of the car, her eyes flashing and taking in every detail. Meredith's heels clicked softly on the walkway, and she reached the door of the restaurant, and an attractive man stopped her.

"Hi, I'm Meredith…my girlfriend Addison Montgomery wanted me to meet her here." A smile played at the corners of Meredith's lips. The word "girlfriend" would have seemed so unnatural merely three weeks ago, and now she relished in the feeling it gave her.

"Oh yes, of course, come with me please." The host took her through the winding path in the restaurant, and she marveled at the array of paintings and the intricate swirls in the architecture. The inside was pure elegance. The man reached a set of glass French style double doors, and he opened them, gesturing her through. She nodded and thanked him, and as she turned her head back, her eyes went misty with tears as they set their sights on the most breathtaking red-haired woman she had ever seen.

* * *

The clicking of heels caused Addison to turn from the stone wall she was looking over, and a gorgeous blonde woman was at the top of a set of stone stairs with her hand on the black metal railing, her other hand over her mouth and her warm blue eyes wide open. A formfitting black dress came down to about four inches above the knee, and the low scoop neckline exposed the swell of her breasts, held up by halter style straps that started right before the underside of her arms. Her hair was in loose curls, and the warm Pacific breeze floated through, moving the front strands off her face. A pair of black peep toe stilettos adorned her French manicured feet, and Addison was lost. She was no longer in control. Her body moved forward towards the woman of its own will, and tears pricked her eyes as she gravitated in the direction of her girlfriend.

* * *

Meredith could hardly breathe. The woman in front of her was the most beautiful woman she could ever imagine seeing. The olive colored dress she wore dipped down between her breasts and came to a point just below the breastbone and flowed down her hips and to the floor. The jewel encrusted halter straps criss-crossed over the woman's back, and was otherwise backless and cut out, the fabric starting again barely above her backside, and it flowed down neatly, the wind rustling it and blowing the slight train of it out across the cobblestone patio. The woman's fiery red hair was swept back loosely into French twist in the back, and tiny curled pieces came down and framed her face. Her piercing blue eyes contrasted heavily with the smoky eyeshadow and liner, and dramatic black mascara. The redhead was so beautiful it was almost painful for Meredith to look at her, and even more so to see her moving towards her, completely and irrevocably in love with her.

* * *

The sun was settling down over the horizon, and the sky was streaked with hues of pink, purple and orange. Addison reached Meredith, who had somehow managed to ease herself down the steps, with the help of the railing, and the two reached each other in a tearful kiss. There were no words, just their lips fused together in an understanding need, a need for each other. When they broke apart, Addison took Meredith by the hand and led her past the single round table by the corner near the cobblestone wall. There was a single candle on the table, and the lights in the ivy were the only lighting there. They came to the wall side by side, hand in hand, and looked out over to the ocean, where the sun was disappearing over the horizon. The land dipped away from the wall, and Meredith realized it was built on a hill. The wind tousled her hair, and before she could move her hand to her face to correct it, Addison's hand was there, running underneath, cupping her cheek.

"Addison…" whispered Meredith, and the redhead pulled her to her once more, spinning her slowly around, easing her onto the top of the wall, and moving her lips hungrily over Meredith's. Adrenaline coursed through Meredith's body, and she felt dizzy, like her world was spinning on its axis, and the only thing keeping her grounded were Addison's trembling lips moving passionately over hers.

"Meredith, you're beautiful."

"Mmmm, and so are you darling." Meredith murmured, their foreheads pressed together, and at that word Addison went weak in the knees, and she closed her eyes briefly. She wrapped her arms around Meredith's back, and eased the intern off the wall back onto her feet, and Addison led her to the table. There was a bottle of wine chilling on ice at the table already, and Addison poured them each a glass and held Meredith's chair out for her before taking her own.

"I could spend forever just looking at you Mer." Addison said with a smile, her eyes still roaming over Meredith, taking everything in. The blonde felt heat rush into her cheeks, and was grateful for the dark that was setting in. She took a sip from her glass, relishing the taste of the bittersweet liquid. _Strawberry wine. _Meredith leaned over the table to press a quick kiss to Addison's lips; the woman was irresistible.

"How did you manage this Addison? I don't think the terrace has your name on it," Meredith joked lightly, picking up the illustrious menu that was perched on the table. She scanned it quickly, her mind full of thoughts that were entirely unrelated to food, and she realized with a second look that there were no prices by the menu items. The waiter came over to the table, and she whispered across to Addison. "There aren't any prices on here…I think they gave us the wrong menu."

The waiter cleared his throat loudly, and Addison reached across the table for Meredith's hand and squeezed it gently. "Honey, don't worry about that. I'm taking you out tonight; let me do the worrying." She smiled and clearly wasn't paying it any second thought, so Meredith relaxed and pointed to a seafood dish on the menu.

"And I'll have what she's having." Addison smiled as the waiter took the menus away, and she continued to hold Meredith's hand, rubbing her thumb over the woman's knuckle.

"Addison, this is perfect. I love it. But you know, you didn't have to go this much out. I would always be perfectly content with ordering pizza in from room service and just staying in bed with you." Meredith said.

Addison's lips curled upwards and her eyebrows rose. "And that's what I love about you, Meredith Grey."

There was a silence, and Meredith finally broke it. "Addie, there's something I need to talk to you about."

Addison straightened up in her seat. "Okay, just as long as you're not about to tell me you're sick of me already."

"No, I'm not. I talked to Cristina this morning, remember when I came back to bed?"

Addison nodded, and the waiter brought their salads out to the table. She thanked him and as he disappeared inside the doors, she picked up her wine glass to take a sip. "Yeah, Mer, what's up?"

"I want us to have sex tonight."

Addison choked on her wine, and Meredith sat there with an amused expression on her face.

"Uh, Mer, honey, I don't think that's such a good idea…" Addison started hesitantly, trying to ignore the slight flutter in her stomach at Meredith's bold statement.

Meredith stood from her chair and pulled it over close to Addison's. She sat back down, crossing one leg overtop the other, and she rested a gentle had on Addison's cheek, hooking a finger tenderly under her jaw and pulling her face close. Meredith parted her lips slightly, bringing them to brush gently across Addison's, and she moved them down to focus on her lower lip, sucking gently before releasing her lips. Addison's eyes remained closed briefly before she slowly opened them.

"I want you Addison. I want to show you how much you mean to me."

Addison's stomach did a somersault at the intentions behind those words, and she swallowed hard. "Meredith, I know you love me. You don't need to have sex to show love."

"Please listen to me."

Addison gave her an apologetic smile, and she took another bite of her salad. "I'm sorry honey. Go ahead."

"This whole time, I wasn't scared to have sex with you because of what happened that day with Derek in the on call room." Addison bristled, and Meredith put her hand on the woman's leg and took a deep breath before continuing, "I was scared to have sex with you because whenever I have sex with someone, something bad happens. I slept with Derek and fell in love with him before finding out I was just his mistress, and I slept with other random inappropriate guys, and they somehow ended up complicating my life. I complicated my life by having sex with inappropriate people, and now, I'm head over heels in love with someone who I can't imagine life without, and I'm scared to ruin it. I'm not broken Addison, Derek didn't break me. But you, being without you would break me. I'm terrified Addison, I am terrified to lose you." Meredith's eyes glimmered with emotion, and Addison felt her own emotions well up.

Addison set her fork down and brought her hand down on top of Meredith's and clasped it firmly. She brought it up to her lips and brushed the cool hand against her lips. Addison brought her hand to Meredith's face and stroked her knuckles against her cheek.

"Meredith, I am going to say this to you as many times as you need for you to understand. I am not going anywhere, regardless of how bad, little, or often the sex is."

Meredith giggled. "Hopefully the sex isn't bad. I mean, I've never done this with a woman before…there were always the girls in college, but that was just drunken shenanigans. I've never made love with a woman."

"Neither have I, but I know how to love a person. I know how to love you, Meredith." Addison smiled, blue eyes locked onto grey ones, and both eyes twinkled with the reflection of love. They didn't break their gaze even as the waiter set their dishes down on the table.

Addison didn't look up as she spoke. "Could we get these to go?"

* * *

Lips crashed upon lips, and hands roamed up and down sides. Addison and Meredith tumbled into the back of the waiting limousine, and they burst out in laughter at the driver's raised eyebrows as he moved to roll up the partition.

"The hotel, please." Addison reached back for Meredith who was giggling in the corner of the backseat, and her giggles were absorbed by Addison's lips and gave way to a moan. Every nerve ending came alive inside Addison's brain at the noise; she felt as if she were to explode. She swirled her tongue into Meredith's mouth, their tongues mingling together, and Meredith ran her hand up Addison's side from her hip up across her ribcage to the middle of her chest, and she ran it over Addison's breast, cupping it gently, dragging her thumb across. Addison whimpered into Meredith's mouth and threw her head back as Meredith's lips moved to her neck. She sucked roughly on Addison's pulse point and the attending moaned.

"Oh, god, Mer!" Addison cried out as Meredith moved her onto her lap and her thigh was pressed tightly against Addison's center.

"Shhhh, darling. I don't want to share your sex groans with anyone else." Meredith laughed and gestured towards the driver with her head, and silenced the attending with her lips. She could sense Addison's need through her lips; her whole body was alive and pulsating. Addison grunted her frustration and let out a small whine when Meredith pulled away.

"Addie, I want to make love to you for the first time in a bed, not in the backseat of a limo. Not that the limousine isn't absolutely perfect, but I want to do this right." Meredith smiled as her girlfriend eased off her lap and threw her head against the seat in frustration.

She sighed and opened her eyes, locking onto Meredith's twinkling grey ones. "You're right. I've never…I've never wanted anything to be this special…" she sighed again, "I've never needed something to be this special. I've never even used the term 'making love' for Christ's sake."

Meredith laughed and shuffled over, smoothing her dress as she settled forward, propping herself up on Addison's chest. Addison leaned down and their lips connected in a light kiss.

"I've never thought making love was something that fit anything in my life. Until I loved you." Addison's eyes closed as Meredith tucked her head under her chin, her heel clad legs folding up onto the backseat. Meredith sighed contently as she listened to Addison's heart pounding loudly underneath her cheek. She leaned forward and placed delicate kisses onto Addison's chest.

The car pulled around and the front of their hotel loomed in front of them. Meredith unfolded her legs and crawled out of the car, and turned back to Addison who was sitting still in the backseat.

_I do not want to screw this up. _

"Addison." Meredith's voice called out to her, shaking her from her thoughts. The intern's voice was low and tender, making Addison's heart clench at the feeling that voice gave her. Meredith held out a slim hand to the older woman and gave her a reassuring smile. "Let me love you."

Addison stretched her long, graceful legs out of the limousine and took her girlfriend's hand. "Okay."

They walked hand in hand into the elevator. Addison leaned forward and pressed the button for their floor, and Meredith pulled her gently around into her arms. Her arms encircled Addison's waist, and she rested a slim hand on the small of the older woman's back, right where the material of her dress began again. Addison sank into the embrace, wrapping her arms around Meredith's neck, and she pressed her lips lightly to Meredith's. There was no tongue, no heat, just tenderness.

"Oh, darling." Meredith sighed, and Addison gasped lightly against Meredith's lips; there it was again, that lightheaded feeling that made her weak in the knees. Addison had heard all kinds of terms of endearment from her past lovers, but none of them had the power to do what that word did when uttered from Meredith's lips. Her knees buckled, and Meredith tightened her arm around her, holding her up.

"Mer," she whimpered, moving her hand up into Meredith's hair, entangling it and deepening the kiss, her lips moving silently over to her ear. "Oh, Meredith," she breathed, her eyes fluttering shut.

The elevator doors opened and the two of them stumbled awkwardly out the doors in their heels, neither one of them breaking the hold they had on the other. Meredith backed Addison up against their door, and she crashed her lips against Addison's, slipping her tongue instantly into the redhead's mouth. Addison laughed against her mouth and fumbled for the room key. She kept one hand steadily on the side of Meredith's ribcage, absentmindedly digging in her purse for the key. Meredith stepped closer, their bodies pressed together, and Addison found her mind going hazy as the intern moved down her neck, her hands dancing down Addison's breasts to her gently sloping hips. She thrust her leg between Addison's thighs, and Addison's hand stilled inside her purse as she sank down onto Meredith's thigh, her head reeling with desire, and she tried to ease the aching between her legs.

Meredith trailed her lips to Addison's ear, and whispered roughly in her ear. "Mmm…Addie, as much as I'd like to fuck you right here and now up against this door, I think the other guests in this hotel would prefer us to be on the other side of it." Her hands eased off of the older woman as she pulled away momentarily, giving Addison time to clear her lust-clouded mind. Addison took a cleansing breath and focused her attention on her bag, opening it, and her fingers searched hurriedly for the room key. She spied the blasted key in the bottom corner, and she pulled it out, her hands trembling as they went to the lock. She turned the key and the door eased open, and Meredith grinned devilishly as Addison launched herself back at Meredith, pulling them inside the door, and shutting it with a resounding slam.

"Well, if we hadn't woken them with our lust-crazed groping in the hallway, they're definitely awake now." Meredith smirked as Addison pulled off her heels, slipping the ankle ties off her feet.

"Honey, no one is getting any sleep in this hotel tonight." Addison growled, her hands shooting to the back of Meredith's neck, hands fisting themselves in blonde locks, and Meredith whimpered, her right arm dangling down, clawing at her ankles, trying to get a hold on the stiletto pumps on her feet. Addison felt the movement, and slid her way down Meredith's body, kissing her way down her neck and lingering briefly on her gently curving breasts before dropping down to her knees in front of the intern. Addison kissed her smooth, toned thighs, exposed perfectly with the short black dress, and Addison's skilled surgical hands grasped the heels of the black pumps Meredith wore while she opened her mouth and touched her tongue to Meredith's creamy thighs, dragging the tip along to the inside of the woman's legs, nibbling gently and pausing to suck on the soft flesh. Addison heard Meredith's sharp intake of breath, and it fueled her desire. She felt Meredith's hands go to her head, fumbling with the twist, and pulling desperately at it, and she moved her head upwards, bunching up Meredith's dress, kissing up towards Meredith's throbbing core.

"Addie…" Meredith mewled, pulling lightly on Addison's head, and the neonatal surgeon stood back up, and was instantly spun around. Meredith pressed herself flush up against her back, and Addison's sense stood alert as she felt Meredith's breasts pressed against her bare back. Meredith leaned forward and captured Addison's earlobe in between her teeth, and Addison shivered as she felt Meredith's warm breath in her ear. She moaned as Meredith's hands traveled the length of her body, moving, almost hesitantly for a split second, under her plunging neckline. Meredith's mouth opened and her lips traveled their way down to Addison's neck, and Addison's head fell back onto Meredith's shoulder as Meredith's right hand worked its way over to her left breast. Meredith's stomach dipped as she realized Addison wasn't wearing a bra, and her finger glided over a hardening nipple. Addison let out a high pitched moan, and Meredith's heart surged at the noise that came out of the redhead.

"Addie, darling," Meredith murmured against her neck, "I want to see you. I want to know every inch of you."

Addison turned around, her eyes opening wider as she took a couple quick gasps of air to try and slow her racing heart rate. Addison nodded at Meredith, and the intern's hands slipped the gathered sleeves off the tops of her shoulders, sliding them down her arms, the green dress pooling around Addison's feet. Meredith's eyes roamed Addison's body. She had never seen anything so beautiful in her life. Addison's bone structure stood out just slightly in the collarbone area, and her breasts curved naturally, the light pink nipples standing out against her fair complexion, and her hips curved gently outwards down towards toned thighs. Meredith's gaze traveled over the juncture at the apex of her legs, the hint of a thatch of hair failing to cover herself, and Meredith blushed momentarily before bringing her eyes up to meet Addison's bright blue eyes. Addison smiled and took the step towards Meredith, closing the distance between them. She drew Meredith to her, and Meredith's head spun as she felt Addison's skin pressing up against her. Addison's left hand came to rest on Meredith's upper back, soft waves of the blond hair brushing her hand, and her fingers found the zipper at the top of the dress.

Addison moved the zipper down an inch, and paused as she felt Meredith tremble. She wrapped her arms around the woman, cradling her against her body. "I'm not going to hurt you Meredith." She felt Meredith nod her head against her head, sweeping red waves mixing with blonde ones, and her hand pulled the zipper down the length of Meredith's back, her right hand following and trailing down the exposed skin. She spread her fingers out and splayed them across the small of Meredith's back and leaned her forehead against Meredith's. Their eyes connected, an inch apart, and each seemed to peer into the other's soul. They stood like that for what seemed like a lifetime, connected in a way that ran so much deeper than flesh. Addison moved first, slipping the halter strap off over the top of Meredith's head, the dress dropping to the floor, and Meredith simultaneously backed them onto the California king bed. Addison landed on her back, settling her head back into the white pillows, and Meredith lowered herself on top of her, leaning her weight on her elbows on either side of Addison. A shock jolted itself through her body as they were finally skin on skin. Addison's skin was so soft on hers, never had she known that another woman's skin was so soft. Her hands reached up and grasped the red tresses, and she looked longingly at her girlfriend.

"I love you Addison Montgomery." Meredith spoke softly, her voice cracking with emotion.

Addison lifted her upper body off the bed a bit, bringing her hands to the sides of Meredith's face, pressing her lips to the intern's.

"I love you Meredith Grey," Addison sighed, her hands traveling the length of Meredith's sides, feeling the curves of the woman lying on top of her, her hands running over Meredith's buttocks, clenching softly, feeling the fleshy backside of her girlfriend. Meredith moaned in response, her body arching back, the caresses of the redhead striking her into submission. She channeled her energy back into Addison, her lips finding Addison's neck and she lowered herself down Addison's body, her lips whisking their way down Addison's collarbone to her right breast. She opened her mouth slightly, taking Addison's breast into her mouth, sucking tenderly at the creamy mound, and flicked her tongue along the hardened peak, getting a throaty cry from the surgeon.

"Mer…oh god Mer," Addison moaned, arching her body into the young intern, and Meredith smirked as she scraped her teeth lightly across the erect nipple, before encompassing her lips over it, sucking delicately as Addison pulled in her hair, urging her closer. Meredith wanted to be closer to Addison, more than humanly possible, and she became suddenly aware of Addison grinding herself into her thigh, and she felt a warm dampness on her upper leg. Meredith's brain exploded and her senses were flooded with desire, and she felt her own arousal as she moved herself down Addison's lithe body that was now arched in the air, and she replaced her tongue with her thumb continuing to tease Addison's nipple as she rolled it between her thumb and forefinger, eliciting another moan from the redhead. Meredith drug her tongue down Addison's stomach, winding its way around the slight dips and curves of her body.

"Meredith, oh shit…honey," Addison pleaded, fisting her hands in the blonde hair, and Meredith glanced up, seeing those blue eyes cracked open, staring at her, and she responded, coming back up to pour a passionate kiss on Addison's parted lips. Meredith's tongue pried into Addison's mouth, hands entangled in each other's hair, and Meredith moved her knee roughly up into Addison's dripping center, and Addison gasped loudly, her lusty shriek muffled by Meredith's mouth. Meredith began a slow rhythm, alternating between thrusting and grinding her thigh in circles against Addison, and she could feel the warm juices of Addison coating her leg. Addison threw her head back and her hips rose to meet Meredith's thrusts. Meredith released her right hand from Addison's red locks, and slid it slowly, dragging it out, down Addison's curves as she bent her head to suck at Addison's neck. Her cool hand splayed out between their bodies, and Addison let out a whimper of anticipation that turned into a low growl as Meredith's hand traveled lower between their bodies, down her abdomen. Meredith's fingers found the thatch of carefully groomed hair, and she swirled her fingers around, down the junction of her pelvis and thighs, and they trailed lazily back up. Addison hissed as Meredith's forefinger skimmed the tender flesh of her sensitive parts, and Meredith's lips were at her earlobe, whispering.

"Mmmm…darling," she drawled in a throaty ragged voice and bit down on her earlobe, and Addison cried out at the sensation, and Meredith's hand slid down, running through the fine hairs before her fingers were covered in Addison's arousal. She swirled her fingers around, tracing the fleshy lips, but being careful to avoid the places Addison needed her the most. Addison's hips thrashed, and the redhead moved her hand down to where Meredith's was, trying to move it to where she ached so badly, but Meredith smacked her hand away.

"Mer-" Addison pleaded in a desperate tone, and she met Meredith's furious gaze. Meredith's grey eyes were smoldering with want, and Addison felt herself tingle in anticipation of what her girlfriend was capable of. Meredith's fingers slowed their circling, but never stopped exploring every crevice of Addison's intimate parts. In their pattern, her fingers stilled as she passed over Addison's opening, and the attending's body contracted; her legs parted slightly wider. Meredith crashed her lips down on Addison's as her middle finger found Addison's throbbing clit and Addison cried out, and she moved her finger in circles over it as Addison's legs tightened around her, pulling her into her. Addison's hips rolled in time with Meredith's rhythm, her juices covering the intern's fingers, and she felt her world go blurry as the heat started spreading up from her toes through her body.

"Mer…oh fuck…Mer!" Addison called out, her body bucking frantically as she felt the first grips consume her. Meredith stilled her finger and Addison whimpered feebly in protest, which turned into a lustful moan as she felt Meredith's finger probe her opening. Meredith's thumb picked up the rhythm on her clit as her forefinger simultaneously drove up into Addison, making the redhead's body jerk as her hips thrust harder against her hand. Addison felt the pulsations roll off her body, matching the pounding in her head, and she gasped in pleasure as Meredith added a second finger inside her. Her velvety walls surrounded Meredith's fingers, as she pushed harder into Addison, and she turned her wrist slightly, the new angle allowing the tips of her fingers to brush up against that sweet spot inside of Addison, and Addison's mind went hazy as the fire inside her flared and the heat began to consume her.

"Don't stop, don't stop, oh fuck...please...Mer…oh fuck, Meredith!" the attending cried out as her orgasm overwhelmed her, and her walls contracted around Meredith's fingers, and Meredith covered her mouth with her own, muffling the softening cries Addison was emitting. Meredith's fingers slowed, knowing Addison needed to recover, but she didn't want to pull out of her body.

Addison was coming down from her euphoria, her body still trembling with the aftershocks of her orgasm, and she dimly felt Meredith's fingers still inside her body, but she was glad she was still inside of her. She felt whole. Meredith collapsed on Addison's side, pulling the attending to her with her free hand, and Addison buried her face in Meredith's hair. Meredith eased her fingers out of Addison, her hand slick with Addison's juices, and she opened her arms holding the older woman to her. Addison turned her head and pressed her swollen lips to Meredith's. She broke away, and Meredith caught her grinning at her devilishly.

"Addison Montgomery, what are you thinking?" she asked, laughing lightly at the way Addison's eyes were burning into her.

"Mmm, Dr. Grey, I'm thinking of all the extraordinarily dirty things I'm going to do to you." Meredith shrieked with laughter as Addison rolled on top of her.


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N : I am so sorry for the delay in getting this chapter up. I got a huge job promotion and all I have been doing is working and trying to get a handle on my new job responsibilities, so finding the time for this story has been difficult. I hope that from now on I can be more consistent with my updates. Don't worry, I haven't given up on this story! I love where it's going, and I hope ya'll do too. Thanks for sticking with it and enjoy the latest chapter! Feedback is appreciated and helps keep me motivated to keep writing. All rights to Shondaland and ABC.**

**xx**

* * *

Addison lay on top of her naked girlfriend, relishing in all the sensations that their lovemaking was giving her. The sweet smell of jasmine and lavender mingled with the smell of sex hung thick in the air. Meredith's body was already writhing underneath her, arching up in need. Having Addison climax under her almost set her over her own edge. The blankets were strewn around them, tangling between legs and wrinkled from being clenched and grasped at, and Addison held herself up on her elbows to indulge her girlfriend in the kiss Meredith whimpered for, and Addison ground her hips slowly down on Meredith's, making the intern cry out. Addison inhaled sharply, the sound of her girlfriend's pleasure taking its full effect on her. She remembered the way Derek had forced himself on Meredith, and Addison planned to show her the complete opposite of that, love. There wasn't going to be anything rough or anything forced, or anything hard. Just slow, deep, passionate love.

Addison rolled her hips down, easing her body down Meredith's body, and the blonde moaned and spread her legs apart, hooking her ankles around behind the redhead, and Addison settled down, her stomach brushing past Meredith's core. Her head spun as she felt Meredith's arousal warm and damp on her stomach, and Meredith's eyes fluttered open briefly, locking eyes with Addison, and Addison read the look of absolute trust flickering in those beautiful eyes. Her heart clenched, and she disentangled herself from Meredith's lock on her, rolling off to the side. Meredith whimpered and opened her eyes fully, the hot grey orbs cooling as the look on Addison's face registered with her.

"Addie, what is it? What's wrong?" Meredith's body was still trembling from her aroused state, but her face was etched with concern as she watched tears flooding Addison's face, taking her mascara with it, muddy rivers trailing their currents down her cheeks. "No, no, don't cry," Meredith whispered soothingly, opening her arms, and Addison scooted closer but still distancing herself. She propped herself up on one elbow, and Meredith leaned forward to kiss the tears off her face, but Addison tilted her head, capturing the intern's swollen lips with her own in a fierce desperation. Salty tears mingled with the sweet taste of Addison's mouth, and Meredith moaned deeply into the kiss, her head drifting slowly back in surrender.

"You're so beautiful, everything about you." Addison whispered against Meredith's lips. Meredith pressed them together again, softer this time, sweeter. Meredith's hands captured Addison's face, and she sank back into the pillows, pulling Addison gently with her, and the intensity took on an intoxicating deepness that wrapped around the two lovers, a cloud thick with love-fueled desire that seemed to go beyond all time and space. Nothing else existed except Meredith and Addison and the overwhelming euphoria that enveloped their senses.

Addison broke their lips apart, trailing them down Meredith's delicate chin and over the pulse point in the young woman's neck, pausing briefly to purse her lips in a soft kiss. Addison could feel a throbbing against her lips, but she couldn't tell if it was Meredith's racing pulse, or the desire to love her streaking through her own body. Meredith let out a breathy moan, and Addison slid down her body, until her lips drifted their way over the creamy flesh and they danced over Meredith's hardened nipple.

"Oh Addison…" Meredith moaned as her body arched off the bed, her back forming a curve of space between the bed, and Addison slipped an arm behind her, holding her, as her lips latched onto the sensitive peak, her tongue coming forward and passing over it. "Addie…baby…I…"

Meredith's body jerked again as the feeling of Addison on her body, holding her, swept over her in a dizzying wave. Addison smiled against her skin, and she felt fingers entangle close to her head and hold tight. She knew Meredith, and Addison instinctively tightened her arm around Meredith, splaying her fingers out across the small of her back. The fingers loosened their grip, and Addison's free hand slid down the slight curves of the petite woman's body. Meredith sighed as Addison moved her lips to the underside of her breast, and she parted her legs slightly, needing Addison in the part that ached so badly, it was almost painful. Addison rolled slightly to the side, keeping a firm hold around Meredith's back, holding her body close as she moved her hand down to feel how badly her lover wanted her.

The instant Addison's hand brushed over Meredith's pubic bone, a sharp gasp followed by a loud moan echoed through the room, and the young woman's body convulsed, and her hips jerked violently upwards, causing Addison's hand to slide lower, capturing the drenched fleshy lips. Addison tilted her head up and forward, encasing Meredith's upper ear and sucking, as she trembled feeling how wet Meredith was for her. Her skilled and knowledgeable surgical fingers slipped easily into Meredith's folds, and Meredith jerked again, pushing against Addison's hand.

"Addie…oh my god...you make me feel so good, " Meredith panted in short breaths, and Addison's fingers settled over Meredith's hardened clit, like they belonged there all along. Meredith's legs parted wide as Addison's fingers went to work, circling the swollen nub, Meredith's juices coating Addison's fingers.

A white hot burn of pleasure that seemed to start from her very toes shot through Meredith's body, making her cry out. "Addison! Oh god yes…don't stop…oh please, don't stop!" Meredith's hips began thrusting in rhythm with Addison's ministrations on her clit, and Meredith's breathing quickened.

"Addie…I need you…inside me," Meredith pleaded, her eyes rolled back in pleasure, and Addison hesitated briefly. "Please Addison, oh god, now!"

Addison plunged two fingers easily inside Meredith, and the start of a shriek came out of the girl's mouth before Addison fused their lips together in a passionate kiss, connecting themselves together in every way they could. Addison's strong fingers pumped and curled inside Meredith, pressing against the slick walls, and Meredith's body began to tremble and vibrate as her orgasm built up. Addison didn't realize until Meredith's thigh moved against her that she was close as well, finding her own pleasure from pleasuring her girlfriend. Addison's mind reeled as she thrust her fingers deep inside Meredith.

"Oh god Addie, I'm gonna…come…oh god, Addison!" Meredith screamed, her body writhing in spasms, rubbing roughly against Addison, who couldn't hold her own orgasm back any longer and went over her own edge, moaning Meredith's name in the intern's ear, and she collapsed onto Meredith's shoulder, both spent. The heady smell of sex lingered in the air, sharper than before, and Addison could feel their fluids on their bodies and the sheets. She turned towards Meredith, and pressed her lips to Meredith's briefly, smiling contentedly, and Meredith smiled back.

"I love you, darling."

Addison smiled shyly. "And I love you."

* * *

Sunlight streamed through the window whose drapes had been neglected last night, and the light formed golden pathways that patterned their ways across the floor, glinting off the jewels on Addison's shed dress. Addison stirred gently in sleep, and Meredith sighed happily and nuzzled her face softly in Addison's messy locks, the faint smell of jasmine filling her senses. Meredith's eyes followed the trail of the discarded shoes and dresses that fell in order of how they were taken off, and she closed her eyes in blissful disbelief. How she ended up here…it was all a blur now. A wonderful blur of memories and images flashed through Meredith's mind. Sipping lemon water watching Addison run the tip of her finger over the rim of her glass, listening to Italian music playing softly through Addison's hotel room, the green grass of the meadow they rode in rippling in the wind, cantering alongside Addison, the squeal of laughter that came from the redhead when Meredith accidentally tickled her on the plane, and the way the water droplets looked on Addison's legs in the pool.

Meredith's smiled played at the corners of her mouth, and she eased down Addison's naked body, and placed a delicate kiss on her girlfriend's lips. Meredith's grey eyes stayed open, and she felt Addison's lips pucker slightly and press back. The neonatal surgeon's blue eyes opened sleepily, and as she caught Meredith looking into her eyes, Meredith felt the lips on hers lengthen into a smile.

Meredith broke the kiss, and leaned back on her elbow. "Good morning, beautiful."

"Mmm…good morning." Addison said groggily, in her low voice that Meredith was quite fond of. Meredith's eyes roamed over Addison's form, the single sheet draped over the older woman's hips, and Meredith bit her lip as her gaze traveled over Addison's flat stomach and bare breasts. "Mer, honey, what are you doing?"

"I'm just looking at the most beautiful woman in the whole world lying in bed with me, tangled up in the sheets we had sex in last night." Meredith spoke quietly, and Addison snorted.

"More than once. I don't think I'd be able to walk to the nurses station and back when you're done with me." Addison stretched her body lithely across the bed and settled down into her pillow with a slight huff.

Meredith's eyes dropped down to the mattress for a second, before slowly coming back up. "I don't want to ever be done with you."

Addison opened her arms, and Meredith scrambled across the distance between them, settling into her established comfortable place with her head tucked under Addison's chin, resting on the woman's shoulder, one leg tucked safely between Addison's.

"I know Mer, me neither."

The couple fell back into a light sleep, dozing on and off. The smell of maple syrup and bacon woke Meredith from her nap. Her girlfriend's side of the bed was empty, only the dent and wrinkles in the sheet showing any sign of Addison's presence. Meredith picked up the top sheet and wrapped it around herself, her bare feet hitting the plush carpet of the expensive hotel, and she padded her way around past the large window seat to the side of the balcony, and found the redhead behind the stove, butt naked, frying bacon and checking the waffle iron. Meredith grinned to herself and stepped quietly up behind her, and wrapped her arms around Addison, her lips grazing the skin on her shoulder, and her hands splayed across Addison's warm stomach.

"Mmmm…I want to wake up to this every day." Meredith teased, moving her hand downwards between Addison's legs, earning herself a swat on the hand.

"You're insatiable!" Addison exclaimed, playfully shooing her girlfriend away. "Now go scope out the balcony so I can finish this up."

Meredith laughed as she danced out of the kitchen. "No, I just have a REALLY hot girlfriend." Addison shot her a grin before waving her spatula towards the balcony.

Meredith held the sheet in place as she opened the glass French style doors that led out onto the balcony of the suite, and her eyes widened as she took in the sights around her. The palm trees rustled in the sweet smelling sea breeze, and down on the street, traffic was bustling around with the busyness of LA. The wind flirted with the bottom edges of the sheet, and it rode up Meredith's thighs, just covering her backside, and arms suddenly encased her from behind. Cool lips were whispering words on her neck, and a shiver went down Meredith's spine as she felt her knees give out, and she gripped onto the railing as she sank forward, and Addison's hand steadied her at the waist.

Meredith's breath caught in her throat as Addison increased the pressure of her lips on her neck. "Addie," she moaned, "Do you know what you do to me?"

"Mhmm," came a mumbled response, "I know exactly what I'm doing, because you do it to me every time you look at me." Addison whispered the last bit in Meredith's ear, tickling it with her warm breath. Meredith spun around abruptly, and had Addison back up against the railing of the balcony, and the sheet slipped from her shoulders and spilled at her feet, the two women kissing each other fiercely, as if afraid to stop. The smell of bacon hit Meredith again, and her stomach growled furiously, and Addison giggled against her mouth.

"I suppose I should share your mouth with some food or else whatever is in there is going to eat me!" Addison laughed loudly and pointed at Meredith's stomach as the intern bent down and clasped the sheet back around her body, and the two sat on the balcony furniture and picked up their plates.

"Addison, this looks amazing. You're amazing." Meredith grinned between bites of scrambled eggs, and Addison chuckled at the childlike state of excitement her girlfriend was in. It was one of the things she adored about Meredith. "Seriously, I would be starving if it wasn't for Izzie. I can't cook for shit." Meredith's mind wandered back to her many failed attempts at cooking, and counted her blessings for having people in her life who were actually good at it.

Addison smiled widely at Meredith. "Okay, so I was thinking you and I spend the day on the beach so I can look at my girlfriend half naked and know that I'm the only one on that beach who has seen what's underneath that sexy bikini of yours."

Meredith gave her a devilish grin, and the two of them laughed and finished their breakfast.

* * *

The sun's rays poured down hot rays of warmth and the gentle sea breeze drifted over Meredith, causing the little wisps of hair that had slipped from her loose bun to tickle her face, and she stirred, having been woken from her afternoon doze, her fingers stretched, and she let out a soft whine. Warm fingers moved over her own and locked on top of her hand. Meredith opened her eyes and met a pair of bright blue eyes looking calmly at her. She smiled and stretched sleepily, her body purring contentedly like a cat, and Addison peered at her with a small smile playing at the edges of her mouth.

"Good afternoon. Finally joining us back in the real world?" Addison cooed gently, barely audible over the constant bustle of the busy beach, where children were laughing and shrieking over the toss of the waves. Meredith could always pick out Addison's voice in the most crowded places; it was her favorite sound in the world.

"Mhm…but you never left me. You're in my dreams." Meredith admitted sheepishly, feeling a warm blush creep up into her cheeks, and it wasn't the heat of the sun.

Addison laughed loudly and smacked her gently with the magazine she was reading. "Meredith Grey, have you gone soft on me?"

Meredith grinned and swatted her back, as the attending feigned mock offense, and the redhead stood up.

"I'm going to go cool off in the water. Try to stay out of trouble?" Addison teased, before grabbing her air mattress and turning to walk down the beach towards the spray of the ocean. Meredith watched her walk away, the simple turquoise bikini bottoms setting gently on her hips, and she sighed in happiness. Meredith rolled onto her stomach and reached for Addison's beach bag, digging around, searching its contents. Finally finding what she was looking for, she settled back down and pulled her sunglasses down over her eyes. She opened the small leather-bound journal she had picked up at the airport in Seattle. She picked up a ball point pen and began to write.

The waves crashed around Addison's toned legs, spraying up a mist of cool water, and she reached her fingers up where her hair was tied in a loose ponytail, and let her thick auburn hair fall around her shoulders. The water had already given her hair a beachy wave, and she smiled to herself. It was nice to be away from everything, of always having to keep up her stoic appearance. She waded out into deeper water, flinching slightly as the water hit her waist, and she sank down, letting the water drench her up to her shoulders. Addison pulled her air mattress closer to her and hopped awkwardly onto it, settling in on the warm plastic material, letting the gentle rocking of the waves lull her into the ocean's trance. Fifteen feet away, a group of children playing in the waves shrieked and squealed in play, and she smiled watching them. The older kids held onto the younger ones, whose floaters were bobbing them in the toss of the waves. Her heart clenched, and she felt a sharp pang in her chest that she hadn't felt in a while.

Her air mattress dipped suddenly on the side, and Meredith's face surfaced from the water. Her hair was plastered back on her head, and Addison couldn't help but smile until she saw the mischievous grin on her girlfriend's face.

"Meredith Grey, don't you DARE." Addison warned, but it was too late. The mattress lifted up, spilling the redhead into the gentle squall of the sea. She came up to the surface, and Meredith laughed at the stunned expression on the attending's face, and then Addison's eyes glinted as she took a breath and swam quickly under the water, yanking Meredith's legs out from under her, and pulling her under the water. They both resurfaced at the same time, Meredith sputtering and clinging to Addison, whose eyes widened briefly, undetected by Meredith, and the neonatal surgeon cursed under her breath. Addison's hand reached up to softly move stray strands of wet hair from Meredith's face, and Meredith let out a peal of laughter.

"See. I do know how to swim." The intern ducked under the water again, reclaiming their air mattress, and Addison stood, deep in thought, before shaking it off and following her girlfriend up onto the beach. They discarded the mattress alongside their beach towels, and Meredith lowered herself back onto her familiar spot on her towel. Addison picked up her sunglasses, donning them atop her head, the wind already partially drying her hair, and she pulled her towel closer to Meredith's. The intern had her eyes closed, and Addison wanted nothing more than to take her into her arms right then. She felt a protective pull in her stomach, and she didn't realize Meredith was looking at her.

"Addison." Meredith said plainly, pulling a hair tie out and looping her hair into a bun again.

Addison laid down on her towel, entwining her hand in Meredith's, and the blonde leaned her head in to give her a peck on the lips.

"You give me a reason to keep swimming," Meredith said, and Addison leaned in, her lips seeking Meredith's, needing to feel reassurance. Meredith sighed into the kiss, and Addison felt a sigh of relief come out of herself.

"Now, what would make this picture even more perfect?" Meredith asked, a sly grin creeping its way onto her face.

"Hmmm…let me see…me, naked, on top of you on this beach?" Addison shot back playfully, earning another swat from Meredith.

"Mmm…well that too. But since that doesn't seem possible what with all the CHILDREN present here, how about an ice cold beer, or does Addison Forbes-Montgomery only drink fancy cocktails?" Meredith quipped, never missing a chance to tease the older woman about her elite family background.

"I suppose I could settle for a beer," Addison replied, and Meredith reached for the cooler they had brought down to the beach with them from the hotel room.

"Well luckily, I planned ahead." Meredith pulled out two bottles of Coors Light, handing one to Addison. "Now, tell me again who Katie Holmes is dating now."


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N : I am so sorry it's taken so long for an update. I've tried to get back on top of my updates, but life is always busy with something! Thanks to all of you who have stayed with the story. Thanks for the input and enjoy the chapter! All rights to Shondaland and ABC; I own nothing except my own imagination. **

**xx**

* * *

Meredith lay in a heap of limbs splayed across their comfortable hotel bed, having drifted off into a peaceful slumber after the sun's rays and beach activities exhausted all the strength she had. The hotel suite was air conditioned, but she lay naked with her bare back exposed, the expensive sheet having slipped down, alluding to the gentle curve of her backside. Addison sat perched on the plush sofa positioned under the large window overlooking the city, sipping a martini she made, and working from her laptop. Her eyes flicked up occasionally to the form of her sleeping girlfriend, each time a smile managing to curl her lips upward. Addison was jolted from her trance as her Blackberry buzzed on the armrest next to her, and seeing Richard's number, she immediately answered.

"Addison Montgomery."

"Addison, it's Richard. How is…everything?" The chief spoke almost hesitantly, maybe it was because he was unsure of the situation, or because he wasn't sure he wanted to know the answer. Either way, Addison spoke surely.

"She's doing well," Addison spoke in a low tone, her eyes not leaving Meredith, who moved softly in her sleep, before relaxing back into a pattern of steady, even breathing. Addison set her laptop aside off her knees and walked slowly into the bar area of the suite so Meredith could finish her nap. She sighed hard, before elaborating. "Derek raped her Richard. She admitted it to me a few days ago, but it's odd…she seems not to be as troubled about the physical trauma as she is with the emotional aspect. But she's tough, Richard, and she's doing really well," Addison added quickly, not wanting to downplay Meredith's outstanding emotional progress over the past week.

"I thought as much. Addison, you do realize that because she already denied Derek's actions and refused a rape kit, there is no way the hospital can legally enact any permanent suspension against him?" He must have heard the sharp intake of breath and angry hiss from Addison, because his tone changed, and he spoke on a more personal level. "Addison, you know the position I'm in. I detest it just as much as you do. Meredith is like a daughter to me, and the inexcusable actions he isn't being held accountable for make me sick. But I have to protect my hospital above all of my personal feelings."

"Then you have a duty to protect everyone in that hospital!" Addison exclaimed angrily, feeling the blood heat up inside her veins.

"I'm going to ensure that any contact Derek has with her is strictly work-related, and there will always be one of the nurses assisting."

"Working together? You've got to be fucking joking!" Addison flinched, realizing how sharp she had been with her friend, nonetheless her boss, and she took a cleansing breath and lowered her voice. "I'm sorry Richard. Of course, I just hadn't wanted to acknowledge that realistically she will have to see him again."

"He is on orders to only speak to her if it is medically pertinent to a patient's case, and believe me, Meredith Grey is going to have plenty of people watching out for her." Richard cleared his throat. "Addison, this isn't the main reason I called. Mark Sloan needs to get Jane Doe into surgery for facial reconstruction, and she's chosen and decided to proceed. We need to operate before she heals the way she is."

Addison walked softly across back to the corner of the wall, softening her thoughts and feelings as she looked upon Meredith once more. "Of course Richard. I'll book the flight tomorrow."

"Is she ready?"

"She's in a good place right now. That's her call."

Reality dawned on Addison as she ended the call; she wanted to stay in a blissful world with just her and Meredith forever. She found the edge of the bed and eased herself onto the edge, thanking any god that was out there that she had the privilege and right to watching this beautiful creature slumber in front of her. The creamy skin that had a slight bronze tint to it now beckoned to her, and she could not stop her hand from extending towards Meredith's back, her fingertips brushing each vertebrae. Meredith stirred, and Addison retracted her hand, holding her breath, hoping she hadn't woken her, and Meredith whimpered, scooting closer to Addison as if seeking the comforting presence.

Addison instinctively reached out to the girl, replacing her hand on Meredith's back and settling down against her, and Meredith sighed and snuggled back into Addison. The attending rested her head on her hand, propping her elbow up against the bed, stroking the dirty blonde locks, and Meredith nestled her head back into the pillows. Addison smiled. How the girl could sleep through so much was beyond her. She continued running her fingers through the intern's sleep-tousled waves, and Meredith rolled over, a smile on her face, and her blue-grey eyes opening slowly from her sleep.

"Hey sweetheart," Addison cooed sweetly, getting a contented sigh from her girlfriend.

"Mmmm…how long have I been asleep?" Meredith whispered and rubbed her eyes, slipping her leg between Addison's, settling in tighter against the older woman.

"Just an hour or so, but it's okay, I did some work from the laptop and caught up on my paperwork. Besides, it looked like you could use the sleep."

"Okay. I love you Addie." Meredith draped an arm around Addison's torso, placing a kiss to her girlfriend's neck, and the redhead folded her arms around Meredith, holding her firmly to her. She never wanted to leave this place, just being with Meredith, keeping her safe and protected.

"I love you too, honey." Addison let out a deep breath, and pressed her lips to Meredith's forehead. "Richard called. My Jane Doe needs to go into surgery soon. Mark is doing facial reconstruction to restore as much of her original facial features as he can, as soon as possible. They need me to monitor the baby while he operates."

"When do we need to be there?" Meredith's lips moved against Addison's collarbone, fluttering the words across her skin.

Addison smiled at the use of "we." This was one of the perks of dating a fellow doctor; they understood the need of patient care. "We need to fly out tomorrow. I'm calling Miguel to see what flight we can get."

Meredith drew back, surprising Addison with a sheepish grin on her face. "Well, we knew this wonderful vacation couldn't last forever…back to reality huh?"

"Something like that. But you're coming back to reality with me, and that's where you're going to stay. My reality. I don't care what anyone has to say about it. I love you, and that's all that matters." Addison brushed Meredith's cheek with the back of her knuckles, caressing the structure of her face, and Meredith closed her eyes.

"I like that."

* * *

The two lovers walked hand in hand towards the ocean, the cute blonde with a picnic basket, and the striking redhead with a beach towel and wine glasses. The sun was just making its final descent towards the horizon amidst a sky streaked with purple and orange hues, and Meredith couldn't help but smile as she felt Addison's strong hand squeeze hers gently. Meredith stroked her thumb in circles against the side of Addison's index finger, earning a loving smile from the surgeon. The two made their way along the narrow path, twisting around through the shrubs, Addison leading the way. The sandy path opened up to a secluded cove, where the waves crashed loudly on the boulders, a misty spray shooting up as the waves hit their mark.

"Addison, this is beautiful. I love it," Meredith breathed, her eyes flashing as awe and love warred for dominance in the gray orbs.

Addison chuckled. "I love you Meredith Grey." She turned around facing away from the water's edge, taking great care in spreading the large beach towel across the fine, white sand. Addison stood up straight, admiring her handiwork, and smiled, turning around.

"Meredith, I-" she stopped short, her breath catching in her throat at the sight of the blonde standing in the violent waves, the foamy water lapping around her ankles, and her white dress billowing in the ocean breeze. She stood still, unmoving against the rough water that tugged at her legs.

_Meredith could feel the warm water pulling her towards the sea, its firm arms wrapping themselves around her legs, almost pleading with her to come with them. But still, she stood strong, her eyes closed as each gust of water washed around her. She stood like this for what seemed like hours, remembering how strong she was now, that she didn't give in to the easy out that the ocean gave her. Her eyes opened, and a smile split her face as she felt another pair of arms encircle her waist. _

_Addison._

"Addie," _she sighed, breathing deeply in the scent of the woman she loved, her senses filled with everything that was Addison, how her hair smelled, how her body fit against hers, how her breathing sounded. She was ready._

Meredith turned around and faced the woman, who had tear-filled blue eyes tracking her every move. "I'm ready now, Addison. I'm breathing again."

Addison nodded slowly and embraced the blonde, hooking her arms around the back of Meredith's neck. "I know sweetheart."

They stood there wrapped in each other's arms, feeling the ocean breeze on their faces and the sand skirting around their ankles. Meredith had tucked her head underneath Addison's chin, and she could hear the strong heartbeat of the neonatal surgeon. She gave a light squeeze with her arms and broke the embrace.

"Let's go enjoy our last supper before we get thrown into the lion's den tomorrow," Meredith smirked, taking Addison's hand in her own, and the two walked up the beach once more.

Meredith sat down with her back against a log, facing the horizon, and she pulled out two peanut butter and jam sandwiches, two bags of Doritos, and a bottle of wine.

"Sorry, this is the best I can do, and I really wanted to make you something, but this is all I'm capable of making without burning the house down, so I just thought I'd throw this together and hope you still love me anyway." The girl rambled, a guilty grimace marring her features, and Addison laughed.

"It's perfect honey." Addison reached over and picked up the wine glasses, pouring the red wine into both. She extended one to her girlfriend, who took it, watching Addison intently. The attending took a sip of her glass, and a smile spanned her face. "Strawberry wine."

"I'll remember it forever. One of the many memories I get to make with you," Meredith whispered and set down her wine glass at the same time Addison did, and the attending moved toward her, capturing the soft lips with her own. Their lips fluttered over the now familiar terrain of the other's, and Addison drew out the kiss, pouring every loving feeling into that kiss. They both were fighting the need to come up for air, and Addison finally pulled back slightly, just enough to separate their lips.

"I can't wait to spend the rest of my life making memories with you."

Meredith pressed her lips back to Addison's, pulling the redhead down on top of her in the soft cushion of the sand, and Addison's whole body hummed with an overwhelming desire to be as close to Meredith as she possibly could. Meredith's blonde hair spread around her head as she lay on her back, and Addison ran her fingers through the beachy waves, tugging gently and she felt Meredith smile into the kiss. Addison's lips caught Meredith's bottom one, and her teeth emerged, scraping so lightly it felt like a whisper, and Meredith moaned in submission, her eyes closing as Addison's lips continued their exploration of her mouth.

Meredith felt a wave of emotion surge over her body, and she fisted her hand in Addison's red locks, and raised her upper body off the ground, returning every bit of passion Addison was feeling. Addison whimpered softly, a sound Meredith had never heard the attending make, and her mouth parted. Meredith's tongue snaked in the corner of the older woman's mouth, and she ran her tongue over Addison's teeth. Addison's tongue met hers gently, moving methodically together, doing the dance they felt like they'd been doing forever. Meredith released Addison's mouth with a chaste kiss, and the older woman's eyes stayed closed briefly, lingering in the moment, and Meredith's eyes softened as she took in the sight she never wanted to forget. Addison's mouth looked slightly kiss-swollen, her raspberry colored lipstick smudged ever so slightly, her mouth parted open as she tried to control her breathing, and their eyes locked as Addison opened hers. Brilliant blue met gorgeous gray and stayed locked on as they fell back into their embrace that had become so familiar to them, and they began to make love to each other on the beach, their moans and gasps mingling with the crash of the ocean's waves. It was not rushed or hurried, but slow and real.

Addison slipped her hand up Meredith's dress, her fingers tracing patterns on her thigh as they slowly continued their ascent up her smooth legs and felt the heat radiating out of the intern at the apex of her thighs.

"Addie," Meredith moaned into Addison's mouth, her lips wavering slightly at the slight touch of the attending, and she reached desperately for Addison, her hand finding the waistband of Addison's capris. She skillfully unbuttoned her pants and reached for the zipper, tugging earnestly at it until it yielded to her. Addison's fingers slipped into Meredith's wet folds, and Meredith grabbed her hand, stopping her.

"No. Together." Meredith tugged on her capris, and Addison helped her slide them off. Her light blue panties were shifted to the side as Meredith wasted no time in plunging her fingers inside Addison, catching her off guard.

"Mer! Oh honey.." Addison moaned, her own fingers entering Meredith as they lay side by side. Meredith sat up, retracting her fingers from the redhead, making her whine in desperation.

"Together." Meredith reached for Addison, pulling her into her lap, and the neonatal surgeon understood. Fingers clawed frantically, finding their destination inside each other, and they rocked together, fingers and hips thrusting towards each other as they began to peak. Meredith threw her head back as her release ripped through her, and Addison jerked and called out Meredith's name. They clung to each other as their orgasm washed over them and faded. Meredith pulled Addison to her, and the attending lay her head on Meredith's chest, placing gentle kisses on her collarbone. Meredith stroked Addison's fiery red hair as they lay together listening to each other breathe. There was no need for words because their hearts spoke together

Addison felt Meredith's chest rising rhythmically, and she could tell by the sound of her breathing that she was asleep. Her eyes grew heavy lidded with the beginning of sleep, and she forced herself to keep them open.

"Mer…honey…wake up." Addison gently kissed the woman's lips, and Meredith roused reluctantly from her sleep.

"Addie, can't we just sleep..here?" Meredith whined, and Addison smiled sleepily. _She is so cute when she's tired. _

"No baby, we can't. Come on, let's get you back to the room so we can get some sleep." Addison gently eased Meredith up, and the two gathered their picnic and walked up the pathway.

* * *

The shrill sound of the alarm clock on Addison's Blackberry woke them. Addison twisted her upper body slightly to reach her phone. She squinted her eyes from the bright light as she looked into her phone. 4 o'clock in the morning. Too damn early, in her opinion, but she had gotten used to it over the years. The redhead ran a hand through her hair and eased herself back down by Meredith. The corners of her lips turned upwards as a smirk crawled onto her face. Addison moved Meredith's blonde tendrils to the side as she kissed the back of her neck and simultaneously put a small amount of pressure from the knee that was between Meredith's legs. Her hand traveled down around the curve of Meredith's side, and she swirled her fingers over the woman's stomach, brushing her thumb over Meredith's nipple. It hardened instantly, and Addison felt returned pressure against her knee that was pressed against Meredith's center. She smiled as she felt Meredith turning over, and the intern rolled on top of her.

"Mmmm, I don't mind being woken for sleepy sex." Meredith growled and met Addison's lips with her own, her eyes closing in the familiar dizzying euphoria she got from kissing her girlfriend. Meredith's hand wasted no time in traveling down the redhead's body, and Addison had to suck in a deep breath to muster the motivation to clasp the younger woman's wrist with her fingers.

"As much as I'd rather spend this morning rolling around in bed with you, our flight leaves in two hours, and I really don't think either of us can afford risking our jobs with the Chief." Addison smirked as she watched Meredith's face fall slightly at the fact that she was no longer getting morning sex, and the girl rolled off to the side and flopped on her back. Addison reluctantly left the warm sanctuary of the bed despite Meredith's groans. She padded to the bathroom and checked her reflection in the illuminated mirror. She winced and opted for a quick ponytail before dabbing on some foundation and touching up last night's eyeshadow. Addison reached for her lotion on the counter next, rubbing it in on her hands and running her hands over her neck.

She eyed her appearance one last time, this time sighing and shrugging. "Mer, you better be packing or I'm going to pack you in my shoe suitcase so I can get us out of here on time!" When she heard no response, she scrunched her eyebrows briefly and emerged from the bathroom. Meredith had pulled up the comforter and buried her head under the pillows. Addison laughed silently, making her way over to the bed. In a flash she pulled the pillow off Meredith's head and coiled back, giving the intern a smack to the shoulder.

"Hey!" Meredith shrieked in protest as she had the pillow flung into her chest. Her arms wrapped around it instinctively, and she eyed Addison with a menacing glare, which sent the attending into a bout of unrestrained laughter.

"Let's go Grey, we've got a flight to Seattle to catch."


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: Okay, so you all have my biggest and most sincere apologies for the EXTREME delay in this story. I lost my motivation to continue this story, and to be honest, this chapter was difficult for me to crank out. It is a short update, but I figured a short update was better than nothing. I'm not sure when I will get around to continuing this story, although I do have many ideas of where I would like to go with it, but again, life and lack of motivation have gotten in the way. Reviews are appreciated, and depending on the response to this chapter, I will decide whether or not to keep continuing it or to wrap it up. All rights to Shondaland and ABC, as always. xx**

* * *

Meredith grasped Addison's hand tightly as the wheels of the plane thudded down onto the runway in Seattle, and she rested her head down on Addison's shoulder and looked out the window at the overcast sky stretched over her home city. Even for Washington weather it was surprising in late August. She was secretly glad for the cooler weather, and Addison smiled at her as the seatbelt light flicked off.

"Home again." Meredith found herself returning the attending's warm smile. She loved Addison's smile; her stomach did flips every time Addison's gaze flashed over her. A flight attendant came and reached for one of Addison's suitcases.

"Wait! I've got that one." Addison traded suitcases with the man who gave her a peculiar glance. He took the bag she offered to him and they followed him out of the narrow walkway of the plane.

"Honestly Addie," Meredith sighed with a chuckle, "sometimes I wonder if someone pointed a gun at me and a gun at your shoes which you would choose." Meredith winked at the neonatal surgeon who clutched the handle of her rolling suitcase tighter before shooting her girlfriend a pointed glare. Their hands found each other and their fingers interlocked as they stepped onto the moving belt that carried them through Sea-Tac airport. Meredith peered down at the discarded suitcase of shoes by Addison's feet and smiled, giving the redhead's fingers a squeeze. The attending turned her head to look at her girlfriend, and as blue eyes met gray, their lips found each other. The end of the moving belt was fast approaching, and both women reluctantly broke the kiss. The forgotten bags were once again picked up, and the click of Addison's heels could be heard echoing throughout the hallways as they made their way towards the sky bridge.

"Over here Meredith! Thank god I took a picture of the stuff around the car, otherwise we would have been here for days!" Addison hit the unlock button on her key ring, and the Range Rover's lights flashed and the doors clicked open. Meredith ambled to the back, loaded down with Addison's luggage and began heaving them up into the back of the SUV.

"Mer! Honey, what are you doing? Let me take care of that!" Addison scolded gently, tossing the suitcase of shoes expertly into the trunk area. She shut the back hatch to find Meredith with her hand on her hip, eyebrow arched. "What?"

"Who would have known that underneath the Jimmy Choo shoes and the Chanel bags lives a professional weight lifter? That's kinda hot." Meredith growled and went into the side of Addison's neck, nipping the tender skin there. Addison groaned deep in her throat as Meredith continued her assault on the attending's neck, her lips flitting up to Addison's earlobe, and she bit down gently, tugging softly, and Addison felt her knees buckle. In a flash, Addison was pressed up against the back of the SUV, so the pressure Meredith was putting against her body was the only thing holding her up. Her hands held Meredith's head as their lips fused together, and Addison's left leg lifted slightly as she wrapped it around the back of Meredith's thigh.

Meredith chuckled softly, the laughter sending vibrations dancing across Addison's already buzzing lips. "Darling, are you just planning on-" her voice lowered as she brought her lips to Addison's ear "letting me fuck you right here in the airport parking lot?" The words seemed to register with the attending, and she pulled out of the haze of desire she was in. She straightened and ran her hands down her blouse, smoothing the slight wrinkles and pouted at Meredith who seemed satisfied with herself.

"Get your ass in the car Grey, or I'm going to kick it in." Meredith shot a last smirk at Addison before disappearing around the side of the red car, and taking a deep breath to calm her thundering pulse, Addison stepped up into the vehicle.

* * *

As the red SUV pulled into the hospital parking lot, Addison glanced at the intern's face without moving her head, not wanting Meredith to catch her looking. She let her gaze linger a little bit longer than she intended, and she flinched as Meredith spoke and she realized she had gotten caught,

"Addison, I'm good." Meredith turned her head to meet her girlfriend's gaze, finding more worry in Addison's eyes than she felt about being back at Seattle Grace. The blonde put her hand on Addison's thigh and giving it a firm but gentle squeeze, she smiled as she reached for her bag. "Let's go save lives." Addison let out some of the air she had been holding in, and she swore she was more on edge about being back than Meredith was. Following the intern's example, Addison followed suit and the click of her heels echoed as she hurried to catch up with Meredith. Addison reached the doors a step behind the younger woman, and slipped inside the first set of automatic doors only to bump into the back of Meredith. She looked over at the blonde, finding Meredith's eyes shut.

The attending reached out a strong hand to the small of her girlfriend's back, and Meredith relaxed into the comforting presence. She opened her eyes with a smile, laying a soft hand on the redhead's still extended arm.

"It's good to be back, Addie." Meredith spoke assuredly, sensing the emotional turmoil Addison was going through, but she felt a genuine calm settle around her. Meredith knew with Addison by her side, they could deal with whatever life threw in their path. The pair shared a brief but loving gaze before Meredith took Addison's hand and entered through the last set of doors. The familiar sterile smell of the hospital flooded their senses, and Meredith navigated them easily through the horde of nurses that had bustled out of the elevator, and they both felt a whoosh of air release from each of them as the doors shut, giving them a couple moments to themselves. Addison began to turn to Meredith but was crushed up against the wall of the elevator as the blonde crashed her lips onto the older woman's unsuspecting mouth, which relaxed instantly. She yielded to the soft tongue that ran itself over her bottom lip before falling softly inside her mouth. Addison twined her fingers into the blonde locks that fell in soft waves, and they broke apart only when they needed to breathe. Meredith rested her forehead against the attending's and cupped Addison's cheek as she pulled back as far as she could with Addison's hand still fisted in her hair. She saw the pain in Addison's eyes, and she brought her lips to the corner of Addison's mouth, kissing her lightly as they communicated wordlessly.

"I love you Addison Montgomery."

The attending straightened up and they shifted apart as the elevator doors clanged open. If Meredith was fine, so was she.

"I love you Meredith Grey."

The couple parted ways outside the intern locker room with Addison promising to page her after her surgery. Meredith looked around the locker room, absentmindedly opening her locker while taking in the familiar sight that she had missed. She slipped into her light blue scrubs just as Bailey came into the room. The shorter woman took on a softer facial expression and as she opened her mouth to address her intern, Meredith silenced her.

"I'm good, really," Meredith flashed her a warm smile, that was not wasted on her resident, "I just want to get back to work."

"Okay then, let's go, you, Yang, and Stevens are with me down in the pit today. We've got a multi car pile up on it's way in." Miranda Bailey could read her interns like a book, and satisfied that Meredith was ready, the two made their way quickly down to Emergency.

* * *

Addison walked into the gown up area of OR 1 and began to scrub in quickly, realizing she was the last of the team to arrive. Even Karev had beaten her in. Holding up her hands, she backed into the door, opening it and walking over to stand by Karev.

"Alright Mark, this is your show. Whenever you're ready." She was primarily in the surgery to observe and be present in case any complications arose with the baby during the facial reconstructive surgery. She looked at Mark who she swore was cracking a grin underneath his surgical mask, and she had no doubt he was refraining from making some perverted remark. She knew there were still some loose ends she had to tie up with him, but knowing Mark, things would be just fine.

Just as she had suspected, he pulled out the heavy artillery right off the bat.

"So, does Grey have Addison Montgomery shaped tan lines all over her?" Mark glanced at her over Jane Doe, before focusing back on the line he was busy contouring.

Addison had been used to dealing with Mark Sloan's cocky and crass attitude for longer than she could remember, and she fired right back at him. "Wouldn't you like to know, Mark, but unfortunately for you, you're not getting a chance to find out."

His eyes glimmered playfully as he remained focused on his work. Addison looked over at Karev, who was dutifully sitting by the fetal monitor with a cheeky grin on his face, trying not so subtly to keep it off his face. A beeper went off loudly, and glancing down, Addison recognized the page.

"Karev, I've got to take this. Don't take your eyes off that screen, and if anything changes, page me immediately." Addison registered the nod from the intern and Mark, and took off her surgical mask and cap as she exited the OR.


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: Thank you to everyone who showed their support for this story! It helped inspire me to get the ball rolling on this story, and take it where I've only envisioned it going. I hope everyone likes this new addition, and remember, reviews are love and I appreciate every single one! All rights to Shondaland and ABC, ya know the drill ;)**

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The heavy double doors to the ER were flung open as gurneys and EMTs flooded the room. Meredith went quickly to the side of a woman who had blood pouring down the side of her face from a deep gash towards her hairline, and her left arm was bent at a sickening angle. Her right arm was clutching a young girl, who Meredith guessed to be about 6 years old.

"Ma'am, can you tell me where you are?" Meredith asked as the gurney was wheeled towards the side of the room. As she pulled out her small flash light from the pocket of her lab coat, the child whimpered and clutched her mother tighter, earning a subtle wince from the woman.

The petite brunette nodded her head. "There was an accident, the paramedics…they said they were taking us to the hospital."

"That's right." Meredith gave a small reassuring smile as she turned off her light, satisfied that the woman's pupils were reactive and equally round. Her eyes fell on the small child who had the beginnings of some bruising on her collarbone, caused most likely by the strain against the seatbelt. She grabbed a passing nurse quickly. "Page Dr. Torres." The nurse looked over to the mother, noting her mangled arm, and hurried off.

Meredith turned again to the little girl, who buried her face deeper into her mother's arm. "Honey, can I take a quick peek to make sure you're okay?" The little girl cowered, her body trembling against her mother and looking up at Meredith with one eye.

"Sweetie, it's okay. Mommy's going to be just fine, okay? This nice doctor is just going to make sure you're not hurting. Be brave for Mommy." The brunette got out a forced smile, reassuring her child that everything would be okay. The little girl nodded and pulled away slightly from her mother, clutching onto her sleeve with her small fist.

Meredith smiled warmly at the girl. "What's your name sweetheart?"

With a nod from her mother, the girl blinked at Meredith and said softly, "Madelyn Grace Wheeler."

Checking her limbs and head for any trauma, Meredith met Madelyn's eyes. "That is such a pretty name for a such a pretty girl."

Madelyn smiled widely. "Mommy said I was the prettiest little angel that Jesus ever sent down to a mommy. That his grace sent me to her."

Meredith grinned and gently squeezed her leg. "That you are! Now I'm going to get your mommy cleaned up okay? Can you sit very still for me like a big girl?"

The fluffy haired girl's face split with a smile that lit up her face, and grew somber as she processed Meredith's request. "Okay, I can."

Meredith moved back over to the woman and began cleaning the woman's gash with a cotton swab. "You have a wonderful daughter Mrs…"

"It's Carrie. Yep, she's my little angel." Carrie sighed happily, even in her agonizing state, and scrunched her eyes playfully at Madelyn, and the girl giggled before returning to her still position. "She's my miracle. When I married her father, we wanted to have kids right away. He was a firefighter, and we didn't want to waste any precious moments of our lives. We tried to get pregnant for over two years, and after endless fertility treatments and hormone injections, we were told that there wasn't a possibility for conception." Carrie's eyes glanced to the side, slanting away from Meredith. "Then a year later, I skipped a period. I thought for sure somehow the hormone injections had screwed up my cycle, until I started getting sick all the time. Josh and I went to the doctor immediately for a pregnancy test because I didn't want to chance it with an at home test. I didn't think I could put myself through that, just to have my hopes crushed. The test was positive, and it was one of the happiest days of my life. Then 8 months later, Madelyn Grace was born. Josh and I were so happy." She paused as Meredith angled her body between Carrie and Madelyn, shielding the young girl from seeing the needle. She began suturing Carrie's laceration on her forehead, and noticed the woman looked lost in her thoughts. Meredith let her eyes flick up to Carrie's as the woman brought her eyes back to Meredith's, and there were tears filling her green eyes as she continued. "7 months later I was feeding Madelyn waiting for my husband to come home; he had been working a 48 hour shift and I knew he was going to be exhausted, but he loved being there for bath time…" Carrie's eyes watered up again and her voice cracked as she continued. "A truck pulled in the driveway, and I picked up Madelyn to go greet her daddy…and it was the Chief. He told me that there had been a house fire and Josh had gone inside without back up when the roof caved in…" She trailed off and motioned to Madelyn who scampered into her mother's good side. Carrie wrapped her hand around her daughter's head and kissed her hair.

Meredith pulled the needle through the last time and clipped the stitching, placing the scissors and needle down on the tray next to the gurney. She placed her hand on the woman's leg and squeezed gently. "I am so sorry. I can't imagine…"

"I've got to be here for Madelyn. She's the biggest joy of my life." Carrie wiped her eye with her good hand, and Meredith moved off of the bed to look at her work.

"Carrie, are you experiencing any pain elsewhere?" Meredith's eyes raked over the woman's body in a methodical assessment.

"Just my head and my arm, but whatever drugs you have in me are working like a charm." She smiled at the intern just as Callie barreled around the corner. Callie quickly assessed the situation, and motioned for the nurses to come to the gurney. She looked at Madelyn and thoughtfully pulled Meredith aside.

"She needs surgery for me to repair her arm. It would be far too painful to set it without putting her out." The dark haired surgeon spoke quietly, her eyes filled with compassion as she looked at the mother and daughter.

"Okay, I'll tell her." Meredith went back over to the bed. "Madelyn would you want to go get some hot chocolate with me? Dr. Torres needs to borrow your mommy for a little bit to help her feel better." She held her hand out to the girl, and at her mother's smile and gentle nudge of encouragement, Madelyn put her small hand into Meredith's. The blonde intern helped the girl down from her mother's bed as the nurses rolled Carrie towards the elevator.

"I'll see you soon, okay baby?" Carrie called as the elevator doors shut, and Meredith and Madelyn turned around, running right into Derek Shepherd.

* * *

Addison headed towards the Chief's office and whirled into the room. "Richard, this better be important because you just pulled me out of a surgery that I ended my vacation early for."

Richard Webber stood from his chair and Addison noticed the man sitting in the padded chair across from the Chief's desk. "Addison, please have a seat."

Her gaze changed quickly from accusatory to confused as she slowly made her way to the chair and sat, crossing one slim leg over the other.

"Addison, I'd like you to meet our new head of neurosurgery, Dr. Leonardo Moretti."

Addison's face must have reflected how stunned she felt inside as she numbly shook the attractive dark haired man's hand.

"Dr. Shepherd has taken permanent leave from Seattle Grace starting at the end of this week." Richard's eyes took in Addison's unusually rattled composure and shot her a look with his eyes that said they would talk later.

Addison cleared her throat and composed herself. "Well, Dr. Moretti, welcome to Seattle Grace. You've come to a fantastic hospital."

The man wore a brilliant smile as he returned her welcome. "I've heard nothing but the best about the staff and surgical program here. I'm looking forward to joining such an exceptional team." With that he stood and Richard walked him to the door. Dr. Moretti turned and met Addison's gaze. "It was a pleasure meeting you, and I'm looking forward to working closely with you and the other attendings." With that, he exited the room.

Richard closed the door and Addison almost ran into him, having gotten up from her seat in her hurry to find Meredith. Richard put a hand on her shoulder and looked like he was going to say something, but his mouth closed. Giving her shoulder a comforting squeeze, he moved past her to his desk, letting the neonatal surgeon continue out the door.

* * *

The fight or flight instinct rippled through Meredith's body as she came face to face with her fear. There he was, standing in front of her, looking almost as awkward as she felt, and as Madelyn tightened her grip on Meredith's hand, it was almost as if the little girl could sense the tension between the two adults. The feeling left her, and her mind was suddenly flooded with a calm. She managed a thin lipped smile as she politely nodded to him. Derek Shepherd seemed frozen in place, standing in between her and her escape into the hallway, into air where she could actually breathe, into a place where her heart would stop hammering in her chest.

"Meredith, I-" he started awkwardly, holding one of his hands out towards her, but was cut off by Cristina Yang.

"Dr. Shepherd," she began in an icy tone coming up to the two doctors and glancing down at the little girl still clutching the hand of her best friend, "I believe I paged you down here for a consult."

Something seemed to flip on in his head, because he lowered his arm and finally tore his gaze from Meredith. "Yes, of course."

Cristina continued to glare at him as she turned to take him to her patient, casting Meredith a look that only she as her person could understand. Meredith shook her head to clear it, and smiled down reassuringly at Madelyn as they continued on their trek to the cafeteria.

"Do you like being a doctor?" Madelyn asked Meredith as they walked hand in hand down the hospital corridor.

"Yes, I do," she replied, her mind refocused on the little girl that had been assigned to her care.

Madelyn scrunched up her nose. "I don't like it here, it's scary. And it smells funny too."

Meredith chuckled as they reached the stand and ordered two hot chocolates. "I like it here. This is where I get to help people, just like your mom, and make them better. This is my safe place."

Madelyn was quiet, processing these words, never letting her hold on Meredith go. The feeling of having someone depend so heavily on Meredith was a new feeling to her, especially that of a child, but she felt a connection to the girl, like she was the only lifeline holding her right now. Her mind went out to Carrie, and was getting slightly concerned that she hadn't heard news back from such a standard procedure when Addison rounded the corner. She was missing the familiar clicking of her heels as she was still in her dark blue scrubs, and Addison's breath caught in her throat as she took in the sight of her girlfriend holding the hand of a beautiful little girl. _I wonder what she would say if she knew. _A lump formed in her throat before she cleared it and sidled up to Meredith, gently bumping into her shoulder.

"Mer…" she began, and just by looking at her, Meredith knew something was up.

"Madelyn, this is Addison, she's a very special friend of mine." Meredith introduced the little girl to her "special friend" and Madelyn smiled shyly as Addison got down on her level.

"It's very nice to meet you Madelyn," she said with a smile, standing back up to lock eyes with her girlfriend.

"Uh, Madelyn, can you go pick out a nice spot for us all to sit? We'll be right there." Meredith turned to Addison the instant the little girl scampered off, busily scouting out the best seating area in the cafeteria. "Addison, what is it?"

Addison looked somberly at Meredith before answering her question. "Callie nearly trampled me in the hallway on my way down here. Madelyn's mother downplayed her symptoms, and while they were working on her arm, she developed a pneumothorax from a rib that she had broken in the accident. Luckily, they were monitoring her carefully in the OR and put in a chest tube." Taking in Meredith's features, which had contorted in worry, she placed a calming hand on her girlfriend's arm. "She's going to be okay Meredith. She's going to be sore, but she'll be okay."

After a few seconds, Meredith raised her eyes from her fixed gaze over Addison's shoulder to meet the beautiful blue eyes of the neonatal surgeon. "I should have found that."

Addison sighed. "I know you Meredith, and you are an excellent doctor. I know without having to ask that you made sure you checked for signs of trauma and asked her if she was experiencing any pain. If I had a daughter," she gestured to Madelyn who was seated precariously on a chair, carefully sipping her hot chocolate, "I would have done the same. She just didn't want to worry Madelyn." The redhead mused for a bit, before deciding to wait before bringing up the news of Derek's leave.

The pair walked over to the table where Madelyn was seated, swinging her dangling legs from where she was perched on the cafeteria chair. Addison reflexively placed her hand softly on the small of Meredith's back just above the waistband of her scrub pants, guiding her to a chair. The attending lowered herself into her own chair, almost getting trampled for a second time that day as Madelyn scrambled around Addison's legs, climbing up in a tangle of limbs into Meredith's lap. The intern looked momentarily stunned before instinctively wrapping her arms around the little girl. A smile broke out over Addison's face as she observed the scene in front of her. Her eyes glazed over, her gaze unblinking and slowly becoming more unfocused as her eyes dried. She blinked a few times rapidly, causing her eyes to water slightly, and Meredith arched an eyebrow in her direction as she caught the look on her girlfriend's face.

Addison straightened and stood quickly. "I have to go…I have a…I have that surgery I need to…I'll see you tonight." As Madelyn squirmed in her arms, Meredith watched her girlfriend go with a puzzled expression on her face.

* * *

Meredith went through the rest of the day on autopilot. She reluctantly surrendered Madelyn over to her mother who was recovering after her surgery, and had been joined by her grandparents who Meredith had managed to contact after Carrie came around from the anesthesia. She stood back from the heartwarming scene in front of her, leaning up against the wall, and she smiled as she felt familiar arms encircle her waist. A flash of red tresses entered her peripheral vision and she sighed, letting her head fall back against the taller woman's shoulder.

"Ready to go hun?" The neonatal surgeon's voice was husky, and it made Meredith shiver involuntarily, her body reacting to the raw tone of Addison's voice.

"Mmmm…even though I still think it's ridiculous that Bailey won't let me work a 48 yet." Meredith groaned softly, feeling Addison's lips brush against her ear.

"We might as well take advantage of it while we can Mer…" Addison's voice whispered in her ear, her breath tickling Meredith, sending another wave of shivers through her body.

"Take me home Addie." Meredith turned her body slightly, and Addison moved her arm to slide around her back, and the couple made their way towards the hospital exit. As the last set of doors opened and the cold Washington air hit their bodies, Meredith spun around to face Addison, smiling as she stood on her tiptoes to reach her lips to Addison's, pressing them in a quick, fierce kiss, causing her girlfriend to break out in a grin. They turned once more, with a slightly more brisk step in their walk, their minds filled with thoughts of getting each other home and in their bed.

"Meredith!" A male voice filled the crisp air, and shivers washed over Meredith once more, but this time they were not the welcome shivers from earlier. She stopped in her tracks, and Addison recovered quicker, adjusting her body so that she was standing partially in front of Meredith, her body not so subtly shielding her girlfriend in a protective stance. Meredith's fingers fumbled momentarily, searching for Addison's hand, and she moved closer, clasping her hand firmly, and she felt a reassuring squeeze from the redhead. Derek Shepherd was standing underneath the overhang of the hospital, moving quickly towards the pair.

"Don't you dare get any closer to me because I swear to god Derek, I will hit you again, and I do not have time to go to jail right now." Addison's icy tone was laced with venom, and Meredith lay her other hand gently on her shoulder. Derek slowed to a stop a few feet away, and his eyes were pained.

"Addison, I know. Please, Meredith just give me two minutes. I just want to make things right; I want to make peace with you for all the things I did wrong to you before I leave."

Addison bristled and her body shook as her words unleashed her anger and pent up emotion. "You do not get to make peace with her Derek, you do not get that opportunity to clear your own conscience. What you did," she shuddered, Meredith's hand on her shoulder being the only anchor keeping her grounded, "is unforgivable. I will NEVER forgive you for what you did, and I never want to see you again. You disgust me." She spat the last sentence at him, and he recoiled as if she had slapped him.

He looked at Meredith, who was looking at the ground by his feet, in silence, pondering the words and events taking place around her.

"I'm sorry Meredith." Derek began to turn, until a small voice stopped him.

"I know. I forgive you, Derek." Meredith spoke the last part louder, her eyes flicking up to his face. "Addison's right, you don't deserve it, but you have my forgiveness." With a gentle tug on Addison's hand, she turned around, the two walking towards the safe sanctuary of their vehicle. As they slid into the front seats, Meredith leaned over to the driver's seat, her lips desperately seeking out her girlfriend's soft ones, and she pressed them together passionately, her hand twining in Addison's hair. Addison responded, moaning deep in her throat, and she whimpered slightly at the loss of contact when Meredith pulled away, resting her forehead against Addison's.

"Take me home Addison. Take me home and make love to me."


End file.
